Uh-oh. I'm schnarky.

My tummy hurts, I'm tired and schnarky. I'm even a little jealous. And I'm going to post about it. This could turn ugly.

With all of this pregnancy after infertility talk and other conversations that went along with it, I started thinking about things that annoyed me when I was ttc and things that still annoy me. Here's a list of my annoyances right now, which ended up morphing into even more.

~ The first group consists of those who had a ~small~ taste of "infertility" and claim it. Look, trying to conceive for a whole 8 months sucks, I know BFNs are never ever fun. But after getting pregnant, please stop saying "after my devastating infertility, I finally conceived". Oh shut up. You don't know what the fuck "infertility" is. Oh, and taking clomid for a cycle or two does ~not~ count as undergoing "treatment", especially when it was in those first few months. The only reason you even took clomid is because you didn't wait the 12 months before getting treatment. I'm not saying you shouldn't of been proactive, but a BFP on clomid on C7? Nope. You're a fertile, okay? You just happened to take clomid. Which, might I add, isn't a huge fertility drug as it just helps your body do what you should naturally do - have one follicle. If you grew more than one follicle on it you probably didn't even need the damned drug to begin with. (fyi, the "you" I am using in all my rants right now are totally made up people. I am not quoting anyone's real cycles. If anyone out there happens to fit into the scenario, it's purely coincidence.)

~ The next group are those who are intertwined in the infertility community, but still EXPECT their own fertility. These are women who may just be lurking because they are waiting to try to conceive and during their time waiting, they are "in" the infertility world. Or maybe they are waiting for other reasons, but still, they see the issues of a primary Ifer. They see secondary infertility. They see tertiary infertility. They see it all. And then when it's their turn to try to conceive, they fucking EXPECT to get pregnant! Not even a mention to "I've gotten pregnant 'easily' in the past and I can only hope it continues". Hello? Ever heard of being humble? And then the kicker is they get fucking pregnant in the first cycle. Do they even whisper "wow, I'm so blessed I dodged that bullet?" No. They just say "I knew it! I rule!" (okay, maybe they don't say that.) I can understand when the non-ifer has these feelings, especially when they simply have never really known anyone dealing with infertility. But these are women who are surrounded by friends undergoing IVF after IVF. Shouldn't they at least acknowledge their fertility shouldn't be taken for granted?

~ The next are those paralyzed with pregnancy fear. Now, this one has many many many exceptions in my mind. Recurrent pregnancy loss, hell, even one past miscarriage is acceptable to instill fear. Any mommy who's lost a baby to stillbirth. These are reasons I can totally and completely understand the aspect of not being able to relax during pregnancy and I would ~never~ think to roll my eyes at them. But those women who are just freaked out over the tiniest of things, like everyday, oh boy they get on my nerves. Especially when they are still freaking out after their doctor reassures them. Let me come up with an example I'm making up. Let's say a girl hits her elbow and is afraid the baby got hurt from it. So she calls the doctor. And then she goes to the doctor. And then she continues to check the baby via a doppler she has at home. And yet she still is freaking out about it on her blog or message board. Chick! Chill the fuck out. If you look at the last 10 of her posts and more than 50% are "worried" posts? Yeah, I just can't keep up with the constant requests for calming responses.

~ Message board girls who only post their own updates/questions but never respond to anyone else. That so fucking bothers me.

~ Pregnant girls who beg and plead for their babies to "come out" at the end when they aren't yet there. Now, I'm not talking about girls like my wonderful friend Denise who is majorly uncomfortable with twins because she's on bedrest, huge and not a large girl - so her belly is just, well - huge. Because I know she wants whatever is best for her apple and banana and she would never want them to come earlier just for her own comfort. It's not the complaining I'm talking about, but the women who actually WANT their babies born before 40 weeks. I've seen girls taking the labor inducing herbs as early as 35 weeks! Makes me want to punch them in the face. Sure, most babies would be fine to come at 35 weeks, but what if your baby wasn't quite ready, you made him come out early and he died? How much would you just pat yourself on the back then? Pregnancy is hard at the end, yes, I know. And I will whine and complain at the end too. BUT, I will never try to get my baby to do anything that's not in his best interest. If he needs to come out early because of the placental issues, then he'll have to come early. But I'm prepared to leave him in to cook up through 42 weeks if that's what he needs (and then his lease will expire).

~ Preggos who get truly upset when people comment on their weight with such things like "Whoa! You are huge!". Yeah, people are known for not having much common sense when talking to a pregnant chick, but come on, you have a huge fucking growth sticking out from your abdomen - do you think we all look svelte? Get over it and understand they are just trying to be funny or are just stupid. You are not the first person to have an inappropriate comment said about you. (The general complaint about dumb people are fine, but there's only so much I can take. You needn't tell me everyday that someone else called you big.)

~ This isn't a bitch about anyone but myself. I actually feel jealousy when I see a newborn. My ttc buddy, Katie, is giving birth tomorrow and I'm SO jealous. I mean, seriously? I'm going to have a baby in 9 weeks and I'm actually really jealous. For real.

~ Girls who won't even consider breastfeeding. Ack. Yes, this is a controversial one but I'm being honest. I am ~so~ pro-breastfeeding (but not anti-formula) and breastmilk is just SO good for babies. Don't all babies deserve a chance to get it? Hey, if you don't like it after giving it a good try, then go to formula. Or if you have a medical condition like a breast reduction and simply can't breastfeed, I totally understand. But try. A real try. I would say it takes a good 2 weeks to really get through the hard part, so try for 2 weeks. And why would anyone want to exclusively pump? At least it's getting breastmilk to the baby, but ick! Pumping only? I've seen actually a few girls choose this and I don't get it. Pumping isn't fun at all! But hey, if it's the only way you'll get the breastmilk to baby, then by all means, exclusively pump. I'm just wondering the why of it. Is it because they think breastfeeding is "icky"? Cause I think hooking my breasts up to the pump was was more gross than having a baby suckle. But to each their own, right?

~ Girls who have full fledged baby showers for each baby. Complete with registry and everything. For #1, I had a baby shower. For #2, I had a diaper shower. For this one, I'm taking a group of my girlfriends out to a lunch to celebrate the baby - I'm paying and requesting NO gifts. I know the etiquette is different depending on where you are, how far apart your kids are, etc, so this is totally just my opinion in my situation.

~ Weirdly over protective mommies. I just visited a friend with a new baby and it was like Fort Knox to even get in. I got questioned about sickness and anyone I may have had contact with. I was asked to wash my hands, which I agree with, but the way she demanded it seemed weird. And when I told her I would watch the baby if her and her husband wanted to run out and get some dinner, she looked at me like I was crazy telling me there was NO way she would leave the baby in the first 6-12 months. Huh? Girl, you are going to be on nanny 911 in a few years. Oh, and she wouldn't go out to dinner with me because she wouldn't take the baby out for the first 8 weeks or something like that. I ~loved~ taking my baby out only days old because of all the ooo-ing and aww-ing I got from the public. But that's just me and my need for attention. ~wink~

Alright, that's enough bitching for now. I'm sure I've got more in me, but I don't want to sound like a complete raving lunatic.