Monday, November 17, 2008

Uh-oh. I'm schnarky.

My tummy hurts, I'm tired and schnarky. I'm even a little jealous. And I'm going to post about it. This could turn ugly.

With all of this pregnancy after infertility talk and other conversations that went along with it, I started thinking about things that annoyed me when I was ttc and things that still annoy me. Here's a list of my annoyances right now, which ended up morphing into even more.

~ The first group consists of those who had a ~small~ taste of "infertility" and claim it. Look, trying to conceive for a whole 8 months sucks, I know BFNs are never ever fun. But after getting pregnant, please stop saying "after my devastating infertility, I finally conceived". Oh shut up. You don't know what the fuck "infertility" is. Oh, and taking clomid for a cycle or two does ~not~ count as undergoing "treatment", especially when it was in those first few months. The only reason you even took clomid is because you didn't wait the 12 months before getting treatment. I'm not saying you shouldn't of been proactive, but a BFP on clomid on C7? Nope. You're a fertile, okay? You just happened to take clomid. Which, might I add, isn't a huge fertility drug as it just helps your body do what you should naturally do - have one follicle. If you grew more than one follicle on it you probably didn't even need the damned drug to begin with. (fyi, the "you" I am using in all my rants right now are totally made up people. I am not quoting anyone's real cycles. If anyone out there happens to fit into the scenario, it's purely coincidence.)

~ The next group are those who are intertwined in the infertility community, but still EXPECT their own fertility. These are women who may just be lurking because they are waiting to try to conceive and during their time waiting, they are "in" the infertility world. Or maybe they are waiting for other reasons, but still, they see the issues of a primary Ifer. They see secondary infertility. They see tertiary infertility. They see it all. And then when it's their turn to try to conceive, they fucking EXPECT to get pregnant! Not even a mention to "I've gotten pregnant 'easily' in the past and I can only hope it continues". Hello? Ever heard of being humble? And then the kicker is they get fucking pregnant in the first cycle. Do they even whisper "wow, I'm so blessed I dodged that bullet?" No. They just say "I knew it! I rule!" (okay, maybe they don't say that.) I can understand when the non-ifer has these feelings, especially when they simply have never really known anyone dealing with infertility. But these are women who are surrounded by friends undergoing IVF after IVF. Shouldn't they at least acknowledge their fertility shouldn't be taken for granted?

~ The next are those paralyzed with pregnancy fear. Now, this one has many many many exceptions in my mind. Recurrent pregnancy loss, hell, even one past miscarriage is acceptable to instill fear. Any mommy who's lost a baby to stillbirth. These are reasons I can totally and completely understand the aspect of not being able to relax during pregnancy and I would ~never~ think to roll my eyes at them. But those women who are just freaked out over the tiniest of things, like everyday, oh boy they get on my nerves. Especially when they are still freaking out after their doctor reassures them. Let me come up with an example I'm making up. Let's say a girl hits her elbow and is afraid the baby got hurt from it. So she calls the doctor. And then she goes to the doctor. And then she continues to check the baby via a doppler she has at home. And yet she still is freaking out about it on her blog or message board. Chick! Chill the fuck out. If you look at the last 10 of her posts and more than 50% are "worried" posts? Yeah, I just can't keep up with the constant requests for calming responses.

~ Message board girls who only post their own updates/questions but never respond to anyone else. That so fucking bothers me.

~ Pregnant girls who beg and plead for their babies to "come out" at the end when they aren't yet there. Now, I'm not talking about girls like my wonderful friend Denise who is majorly uncomfortable with twins because she's on bedrest, huge and not a large girl - so her belly is just, well - huge. Because I know she wants whatever is best for her apple and banana and she would never want them to come earlier just for her own comfort. It's not the complaining I'm talking about, but the women who actually WANT their babies born before 40 weeks. I've seen girls taking the labor inducing herbs as early as 35 weeks! Makes me want to punch them in the face. Sure, most babies would be fine to come at 35 weeks, but what if your baby wasn't quite ready, you made him come out early and he died? How much would you just pat yourself on the back then? Pregnancy is hard at the end, yes, I know. And I will whine and complain at the end too. BUT, I will never try to get my baby to do anything that's not in his best interest. If he needs to come out early because of the placental issues, then he'll have to come early. But I'm prepared to leave him in to cook up through 42 weeks if that's what he needs (and then his lease will expire).

~ Preggos who get truly upset when people comment on their weight with such things like "Whoa! You are huge!". Yeah, people are known for not having much common sense when talking to a pregnant chick, but come on, you have a huge fucking growth sticking out from your abdomen - do you think we all look svelte? Get over it and understand they are just trying to be funny or are just stupid. You are not the first person to have an inappropriate comment said about you. (The general complaint about dumb people are fine, but there's only so much I can take. You needn't tell me everyday that someone else called you big.)

~ This isn't a bitch about anyone but myself. I actually feel jealousy when I see a newborn. My ttc buddy, Katie, is giving birth tomorrow and I'm SO jealous. I mean, seriously? I'm going to have a baby in 9 weeks and I'm actually really jealous. For real.

~ Girls who won't even consider breastfeeding. Ack. Yes, this is a controversial one but I'm being honest. I am ~so~ pro-breastfeeding (but not anti-formula) and breastmilk is just SO good for babies. Don't all babies deserve a chance to get it? Hey, if you don't like it after giving it a good try, then go to formula. Or if you have a medical condition like a breast reduction and simply can't breastfeed, I totally understand. But try. A real try. I would say it takes a good 2 weeks to really get through the hard part, so try for 2 weeks. And why would anyone want to exclusively pump? At least it's getting breastmilk to the baby, but ick! Pumping only? I've seen actually a few girls choose this and I don't get it. Pumping isn't fun at all! But hey, if it's the only way you'll get the breastmilk to baby, then by all means, exclusively pump. I'm just wondering the why of it. Is it because they think breastfeeding is "icky"? Cause I think hooking my breasts up to the pump was was more gross than having a baby suckle. But to each their own, right?

~ Girls who have full fledged baby showers for each baby. Complete with registry and everything. For #1, I had a baby shower. For #2, I had a diaper shower. For this one, I'm taking a group of my girlfriends out to a lunch to celebrate the baby - I'm paying and requesting NO gifts. I know the etiquette is different depending on where you are, how far apart your kids are, etc, so this is totally just my opinion in my situation.

~ Weirdly over protective mommies. I just visited a friend with a new baby and it was like Fort Knox to even get in. I got questioned about sickness and anyone I may have had contact with. I was asked to wash my hands, which I agree with, but the way she demanded it seemed weird. And when I told her I would watch the baby if her and her husband wanted to run out and get some dinner, she looked at me like I was crazy telling me there was NO way she would leave the baby in the first 6-12 months. Huh? Girl, you are going to be on nanny 911 in a few years. Oh, and she wouldn't go out to dinner with me because she wouldn't take the baby out for the first 8 weeks or something like that. I ~loved~ taking my baby out only days old because of all the ooo-ing and aww-ing I got from the public. But that's just me and my need for attention. ~wink~

Alright, that's enough bitching for now. I'm sure I've got more in me, but I don't want to sound like a complete raving lunatic.

47 comments:

AJ said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who's schnarky!! I agree with some of your pet peeves, so to speak, and I hope to heaven you haven't just read my blog because I think I might be that "clomid infertility" person. Wink, wink. Just kidding, I know it wasn't about me but it made me think about my actions :0)

Sara said...

Great post!

And I LOVE the new belly pic. You look great - and the "girls" are quite perky!

MrsSpock said...

Your schnarky posts crack me up.

I was taking my newborn out all the time. I had to- we had to see the lactation consultant and midwife a million times for my breastfeeding hell. It didn't work for me, but I am constantly searching for the proper diagnosis and treatment that I think we didn't have. Even though both breasts shot out blood and I had laserbeams of fire shooting and burning through them 24 hours a day, I still plan on trying it if I get another chance.

I was always taught that having a baby shower for more than the first baby is tacky. Even if the gender is different the 2nd go round. I had a shower for a friend's 3rd baby, but they had just had a devastating fire the year before and lost almost everything. Even then, my friend was very uncomfortable about me giving it.

Overprotective moms I don't get. Two weeks after my c-section I was allowed to drive again. I handed the baby to my mother and went out to have some me time. If the person is trustworthy and loving, why not take advantage of their offer to help?

Kymberli said...

Okay, I think the only thing that precludes me from being stabbed with your snark daggers for falling somewhat into category number 1 is that I tried for 2.5 flippin' years with no success before going to get help. In that time, I saw more than my share of teenagers get pregnant, to include my 17 year old sister. Then we got help and it just so happened that Clomid worked for us. I have PCOS/IR just bad enough to stop ovulation and screw up my cycles. The Clomid gave my ovaries the kick they needed. Clomid got me twins and two singles (and I know I had two follicles on at least two of those cycles). Still, I know that if it wasn't for the Clomid, it just wouldn't have happened for us. I'm also pretty sure that if it wasn't for the fact that we had waited until around now (me at age 30 or over), I probably would have needed to go to low-dose stims/IUI. For the last one (who is three now), we were one step away from that before 150mgs/cycle 3 worked. I can tell that my hormones get wonkier and my PCOS more pronounced as I age. I have the sexy chin hairs and blubbergut to prove it. I tend to think of myself as being subfertile.

Jen said...

I love it when you get schnarky! The schnarky posts always make me laugh.

Jason and Samantha said...

I love your post! I can't stand the women who "tried so hard" for 6 whole months. Or even one who tried for 2 months. Wow, must be devastating.

And I hate when women want to have their baby out at 36 weeks or something. I can't believe some women would put their babies in danger just so they can stop being so uncomfortable. But I'm a wierdo, I loved being pregnant, even huge, uncomfortable, and constantly contracting.

I will admit, I am an overprotective mom, not extreme, but yes. I was out with the baby 3 days PP. I didn't stop living my life because I had a baby. I do have issues with someone watching my baby, mainly because we aren't near family and I'm having an issue or two with some friends.

nancy said...

kym - heh - my schnarky daggers. I never said people didn't NEED clomid, but I just 'know' too many ppl recently to have taken it by their over drug pushing doctors on c6 who ended up pregnant and they tell everyone they "had" to take clomid for their "infertility". Oh pahlease. You totally don't fall into any of my annoyances.

Oh - and I did have a picnic today with the kids! :)

Sarah R said...

I totally hear you on the breastfeeding thing. One girl on the boards was all, "I just don't GET the bonding thing" and she made it sound like breastfeeding was gross. Um, no it isn't. It's natural. Our breasts were designed to lactate. It's our society that has sexualized them. Yes, breastfeeding is hard. However, less than 1% of the female population has a true supply problem, and it seems like everyone uses it as a cop-out. Surely everyone I know can't have a supply problem!

About the whole fertility thing, yeah. I know I was super lucky to get pregnant with Andrew after 7 months. I have never said I was infertile. However, I started charting 4 months ago and I have discovered that I think I have a luteal phase defect. Stupid 8 day LPs. I O on CD15 and AF is already coming tomorrow, so that puts me at a 23 day cycle. Tonight I researched and discovered that LP defects can cause early miscarriages. Now I'm thinking my loss in July was due to an LP defect. So, that does suck. For me. It certainly is nothing close to where you are or what you (or other) infertiles have been through. I am just going to consider myself super lucky that I have Andrew and be happy with that, because he is the best thing ever to happen to me.

Anyhow, I mentioned in a previous post that I am definitely not infertile and I certainly am sensitive towards anyone who is. I just wanted to reiterate that so you didn't think I was one of "those" people.

:)

Kymberli said...

Awww...I'm glad you had a good picnic with the girls today! I still think you shoulda rocked the Addidas and soxs, sokcs...how the fuck do you spell socks? That's my cue - sleepytime for me. :)

Oooohhh, I sooo know what you mean about the ones who freak after ttc for 3 months and swear there's something wrong with them.

You know what else bugs me? When women go buy their whole layettes and nursery furniture and whatnot before the peestick even dries.

Geohde said...

I never had a baby shower...

phew!

:)

J

Anonymous said...

...and another thing, seeing the same damn posts over and over that says bascialy "I'm late, i have all the symptoms, could i be preggo?". how many times can i say, POAS!!!!!!! have to agree though, TTC for 4 months and not yet BFP - yeah......try 15 months....and that was before we tried any tests or treatments.... have to agree a little though - after being (lucky? blessed? fill in the blank) to get KU after 6 months the first time, having secondary IF really, really knocks the wind out of you (and i do mean honest-to-God SIF).

-elcubana

PS can't beleive your in the home stretch!

Jenera said...

If you can't be schnarky on your own blog while pregnant, then when can you be, lol?

Though I have not been through infertility I can kind of sympathize with the principal of some of your pet peeves.

I was going to answer your comment on my blog but I'll do it here. I think the reason I am so over this pregnancy is because we kept it to ourselves (literally only four of us knew) for over 3 months due to the threat of miscarriage and the fear of having to go through that again. We got pregnant our first month trying after the three month wait. I think that was the most stressful time for me. It seems like I've been pregnant for years instead of just months. I definitely do not want him to come sooner than he should but I hope (in a way) that these couple weeks go fast. Well, as long as the hubby his home. See the stress, lol?

On the obsessive preggos-I hope I wasn't like that and I probably wasn't because we kept it 'secret'. I was past 3 months along when I even posted on my blog about it. Sure I obsessed in my head. But during this pregnancy I've gone serious camping, 4 wheeling, tubing, boating, you name it, I did it. Once I knew my baby was okay, I lived.

Oh and do you know that I get pissed off when people I know get pregnant? yep, when I found out my future SIL was preggo I got pissed because how dare she take anything away from MY time. I think I felt this way because of my miscarriage and all the crap that surrounded the loss from the hubby's family. Not too mention during those months of silence, a cousin got pregnant 'accidentally' and had an abortion. And now another cousin has an 'oops' on the way.

Anywho, this got WAY long but like I said, I've not been through IF but I can understand the issues we as pregnant women have with others around us.

Nikki said...

Great post Nancy!

Sort of similar to a topic I've been thinking of blogging about - "the degrees of infertility". Maybe I will come around to doing it soon!

jenn said...

I love your schnarky posts!

I for one am planning on bringing her out within the first or second week. All depending on how I feel of course ;o)

Every kid born at my job has visited before 2 weeks old- none got sick. We all wash our hands & that's fine for me.

(And yes- 20 months sucked. But it was nothing looking back. I only say we did a hail mary treatment cycle because we could only really afford one iui this year & rolled it into the challenge test. But I am still grateful every day that I dodged that bullet.)

Krista said...

Even though I was not an infertile when TTC, after trying with charting and OPKS for over 10 months (but only seven long wacky cycles) I too was annoyed by the girls who were like "Go Me!" when they got pg on cycle 1. One friend even posted on her website that her DH must have super swimmers - and there I was with another BFN.

I was still annoyed with a friend who actually said "I'll be big and pregnant this winter." over this past summer. I didn't voice my annoyance, but I did suggest that *if* things worked out that way, they would be. Then I felt extra awful when she m/c after conceiving on cycle 2.

You just never know what may come with fertility or lack thereof.

DCat said...

All totally true- especially the weird overprotective moms- they really just get right under my skin. Sally, don't touch that! Billy can't play with blocks because of the sharp edges. Lilly can't wear shoes that lace b/c she might trip and get a concussion. Get over yourself. Apparently I'm fairly schnarky myself today!

danielle

Lisa said...

Nancy, these are some of your best posts. They are hilarious! I do not have the slightest clue what it feels like to have infertility, so I won't even pretend to. I do think that I am much more aware of it since I have been following you and your blog.

I agree with you about the "letting the little one bake" as long as possible. All I wanted was to get my twins to as close to 40 weeks as possible. I was very uncomfortable in the end but I waited and did what my doc determined was best. We made it to 37w4d before she wanted to induce. THe boys were getting very big (7 and 6 pounds at birth) and I wanted to try a vaginal delivery. But I still made it past "term" for twins.

As far as breastfeeding is concerned, I agree that one should at least try. I am still breastfeeding my boys (all but one bottle they get at night from Daddy) and they are over 6 months old. Hell, if I can breastfeed two of them, anyone can breastfeed!

My SIL gave birth prematurely (at not quite 36 weeks) and her daughter was unable to breastfeed. She had not even developped the sucking action and was unable to latch on. So, my SIL decided to pump in order to at least give her the breastmilk. She has since decided that it is easier to pump and not bother trying to breastfeed but at least the baby is getting breastmilk.

I can't believe that you only have 9 weeks to go! That is great!! You are in the home stretch now... Congrats!

Wordgirl said...

Nine weeks! HOLY Nancy -- Karl will be here before you know it!

I love schnarky Nancy -- and sweet Nancy and everything in between.

Just saying hello before I'm off to your favorite city for a week.

I have to say that I completely get the women who join the TTC when they've been trying a few months -- I think of them as sweet, young women who are surprised it takes as long as it does to conceive given the fact that their parents have scared them into thinking that any contact is going to get them pregnant...

it still bugs me a tiny bit -- being 36 (and TTC for over four years now)'when I read about a 23 year old who is so blessed after the four months or whatever. I get a twinge, take a deep breath and feel fucking old.

XO

Love,

Pam

Anonymous said...

Love the schnarky post! I would definitely agree with some of your pet peeves - and try to avoid doing others. ;o)
~Velma

Anonymous said...

LOL Nancy. I know a girl who took Clomid to get pregnant, and I just ~assumed~ she'd had infertility issues. She didn't. She went to her dr and told him they wanted to have a baby, he gave her some Clomid and she was pregnant the first cycle. And she tells everybody she "had to take it" to even get pregnant. Whatever.


Oh, and...something that annoys the CRAP out of me--

My SIL actually thought something was "wrong" with her reproductive system, so she went to the dr. He asked her about the frequency of sex, her periods, etc..and she confessed to her OB that she and her husband maybe had sex 2 or 3 times each month, and she had NO idea about ovulation, etc..so of course she had no idea when she was SUPPOSED to be having sex in order to get pregnant.

And she was 30yo at the time and been married for 10 years when they decided to TTC and she knew absolutely nothing about her reproductive system.

Unbelievable.


Steph

Mandy said...

I love your honesty, it cracks me up. You put words to so many of my thoughts!!

Mareike said...

Nancy, I love your schnarky posts. I love that you say what you are thinking. (by the way I also REALLY appreciate your comment moderation. If I say something stupid you are there to prevent everyone seeing my stupidity.)
I'm with you on the breast feeding thing. It's incomprehensible to me that an intelligent woman who I assume would have done all the reading on the benefits of breast feeding would not give it a good try. It certainly can be difficult at first (especially with the first baby) but it soon gets better and it's an experience I wouldn't have traded for anything.
Some people seem to put so much physical distance between themselves and their babies. The skin to skin contact involved in breast feeding is important for both the baby and the mom.

Hollie said...

Thanks for sharing your snarkiness with us. I agree with most of your pet peeves, but I'm probably not brave enough to say them myself. I pretty much ignore people who complain about not getting pregnant after 3 months. I don't like it at all, but I usually let it go. I DO hate it when people tell me I'm big or chubby. I guess big is ok, but chubby is mean. I don't make a big deal of it, but it does bother me. I usually feel sorry for those with pregnancy fear, but it is a little annoying. After my dr says something is ok, I really don't worry about it anymore.

Jewels said...

Great Rant! Feel Better? I know I do when I rant.

Is this your first pregnancy with Augmentation?
You mentioned the boob thing - and I'm sooo pro-breast feeding (but not anti formula - I totally agree with you on that one) and worried that it may be a problem - especially the one side with a pinched nerve, Then holy cow I'll be HUGE (assuming I have a baby)I'll be honest - it scares me, I may have to have a reconstruction when I'm done ;) But other women recommend to wear a snug well supportive bra.

Misty Dawn said...

Yes I'm sure that we can all agree that women that TTC less than the 12+months are indeed blessed. At first, I remembered being worried when I first started posting that I would get KU the first couple C's of charting. LOL Like maybe we weren't BDing right. It's strange b/c I've had less BFPs w/the RE than w/out him. But it also could be that he is being very precautious, so I've only gotten to TTC 4 months out of the year!!

Sorry, I got off topic.

I def agree w/everything you've said!! I am pretty sure I fall in to the IF/recurrent PG loss category.

Amanda said...

I love your schnarky posts! Like someone else said, if you can't be schnarky on your own blog...

Unfortunately I fit into one of those categories (hides face a little). But I swear I don't really want these kids to come out too early, but I don't want them to stay in forever. I swear it's the back and hip pain talking, not just the basic discomfort. ;-)

As far as the weight thing goes, that really cracked me up. I tell people, "I'm HUGE!!!!" Hahaha!

Kaci said...

I love it when you're schnarky. Keep it up ;)

Shinejil said...

yes, yes, and yes, Nancy. Shnark away!

If I ever become the insane mom who is so overprotective that she turns her back on life and her own damn loved ones and the world at large, please take out to the woodshed and shoot me.

nancy said...

You may see a few deleted comments ... I forgot and broke my own rule of publishing name calling comments and then I even responded. It was just a comment from someone who took a point I made completely out of context and then name called. So instead of publishing/responding, I'm deleting. Had she just asked me a question or debated me like an adult, I would have allowed it to stay up.

calliope said...

I heart you like limeade.

Seriously- posts like these make me want to crawl through the computer and buy you an adult beverage. So consider those drinks on layaway...

To A T said...

Love the schnarky posts!! They are hilarious! :)

Heather said...

When I was pregnant with my daughter I had a lady at work say," You know Heather, some people just glow when there pregnant, but you're not one of them." I was appalled at what people would say to a pregnant person, so when I am talking to someone who is pregnant I try to watch what I say as to not offend them, because honestly some people think that just because someone is pregnant it is a free ticket to say anything to them. Anyway, just something I noticed when I was pregnant. As far as the breastfeeding thing, I did not breastfeed my first. Didn't even try. My thinking was that it was going to be stressful enough that I didn't want to have to worry about my milk coming in, if I had enough, whether he would latch on. When I told my mom (and some other people) that I was going to formula feed from the beginning they jumped down my throat and started telling me "oh no, you have to try". Well, I don't take very well to people telling me what I should be doing. Everything turned out just fine and he is a happy healthy six year old and has always been in the 90%tile for his height. I know your post wasn't anti formula, but I still find myself defending my decision to not breastfeed him at all.

areyoukiddingme said...

I feel like an outsider. I'm not really infertile and yet I am. I haven't taken clomid or had PIO shots or had IUIs or IVFs. I get pregnant (easily, even) with good old-fashioned sex. It's only because I would not just keep having miscarriages until I satisfied some doctor's protocol that I was able to find out that I have autoimmune issues that make my body a toxic environment. I have had all the blood tests (with their associated expenses, because they're not covered by insurance!) and a fun hysteroscopy. But I don't really know the pain of years of trying. I just know the pain of miscarriage - two in a row - and that I will never just go at this process without help. Just noting, I guess, that there's another category out there...

No one is entitled to more than one baby shower! Unless their house burned down. But that's it.

I won't allow myself to be irritated by people who refuse to try breastfeeding. I don't understand it, but it's totally their choice. I can only go with an "it's their loss" attitude. Unless they say they don't want to ruin their boobs. Then I have to get irritated with their shallowness. And pumping instead (when your child can nurse)? That's just crazy.

I appreciate your rants. They give me cause for introspection. Hope your last 9 weeks are tolerable!

margelina said...

I totally agree on those who won't even try breastfeeding. You don't have a clue what it is about until you actually try. I absolutely loved it.
A friend of mine called me when she had her first baby(I already had my three) and asked me about taking the baby out to the mall until she had her 2 month vaccines. I'm like, well, stuff your kid can get at the mall would be colds and such, none of which are covered in any vaccines, sooo...
My SIL was ridiculous about spraying lysol and hand santitizer before you walked in her door. Probably all those chemicals were way worse than anything we may have had, lol.
I can completely understand about a new mom turning down babysitters for a night out, though. Almost everyone I know, myself included, never really thought about going out right away. When asked, I was always on the side of "no", even after #3...It just wasn't something I was ready for until I was ready, and when people offered early on, I was always OK with turning it down. I guess for me, the baby stage goes quick and I wasn't ready to give that up for someone else to do, even for an evening, for quite a while.

Anonymous said...

thank you for expressing your feelings on breastfeeding. your opinion on this matters greatly as many women seem to hold you in high regard, and as a career woman you send a good message. it is possible to work and breastfeed, even if just for a little while. too many women opt out and use returning back to work as little more than an excuse... who knows what their issues really are. of course this doesn't apply to everyone, but too many working mamas fall into this category. i hope your post gives them pause to reconsider, for the well being of their babes. sorry to post anon, i have my reasons.

thank you

Anonymous said...

Nancy

I have been reading your posts for a year now and I love your opinions...all of them.

I am not sure I fall into the IF category, but 15 months TTC before my 1st RE appt was hard. Even when others got PG easily. But I only had a hsg, lap and 2 IUI's. It was my DH that had an issue, and when we got the swimmers to the egg, whamo! 2 cycles. But all the disappointment was hard.

I wish I could still breastfeed. It was the best part of having the baby. And I was shopping 2 days with my DD after I came home. Cabin fever.

Thanks again for being yourself...
Michelle

Christina said...

I totally agree with how annoying it is when mother are super overprotective. My ex's sister-in-law tried to make me wear a mask when I came into the house because I sneezed. I had allergies! I was literally so mad at her that I sat in the car during the whole visit.

Anonymous said...

My DD was born at 37 weeks. Even after 3 weeks, she still has difficulty nursing. She'll nurse for 3-7 minutes and then stop. I pump because I want her to have breast milk and nursing is a challenge to her. We are still working on successfully nursing, but it is hard/

Anonymous said...

As far as the baby shower.

It's my second, and I believe that my family will throw me one this time.

My first is 5 years old, and back then, due to a lot of DRAMA, most of my family did not even know I was pregnant until after baby arrived. I had a shower which was thrown by some friends, but my own parents did not attend; both were invited as it was a 'jack and jill'. (Again DRAMA)

Now with my second, I don't feel there is anything wrong with having one, given the circumstances. Different sex, nice time gap, and NO DRAMA this time, so I can actually h ave my family around. Will I register? Not sure. I have some stuff from my 1st, but not a whole lot, since we moved and got rid of that stuff. And if I do register, it won't be for the 'big ticket' items. Still undecided. Some people tell me to go for it, but I'm not sure.

I personally don't think this is inappropriate. It's less about 'wanting stuff' and more about celebrating and sharing in a way I could not with my first.

mommybird said...

I've never replied to one of your blogs but I read them frequently and this one made me laugh so hard. I totally understand it all. The women who don't breastfeed is my biggest one. You shared a freaking body with this kid for 9 months not to mention the hole it came out of, and it's gross that they suck on your nipples? Come on, they deserve an attempt at least. I exclusively pumped both of my kids for 8 months after many weeks of unsuccessful attempts and I would so rather have the baby suck the milk out than that darn pump. I looked like a freaking cow hooked up to the milker!!

Kim said...

Nancy,
You totally rock. I was sitting there the entire time going yup yup yup, well until the last one. But I was thinking the entire time, man I Love her way of thinking.

Yeah I am going to be one of THOSE moms that will not leave the house for 6-8 months. BUT big difference, we are expecting a preemie (pprom). I don't want to expose him to yuckys and have him back in the hospital as soon as we get him home.

Kendra said...

Love this post. I am so totally going to be one of the overprotective moms, though. At least for the first 8 weeks. I know you can't always protect your kids, but so much gets done to them for a little fever when they're that young. And they get so sick so quick. I've just seen it too much through my job that I know I'll be overprotective. My girlfriend took her 3 week old to a huge college football game a few months ago, and I was nervous for him, let alone my own kid.

Krista said...

I don't know if I've ever commented twice on a post before, but here I go.

I really hope most working women don't really believe that breastfeeding can't work with a job, as Anon mentioned. Sure there are some careers that would make it very difficult, but few that would make it truly impossible.

I was very fortunate to have my own office for the first year after my DD was born. I went back to work 6 weeks after her birth (busy season and FMLA does not apply to me) and I exlusively BF/pumped for 6 months and I'm still breastfeeding a bit today - and she's almost 2.

I have a peeve about people who think its gross/wrong to nurse toddlers too. I totally get it if they (or their toddler) don't want to, but don't judge me because I do. It is good for them, and I don't *need* to stop just because she's over a year old. --That said, we are nearly weaned now, and she and I have both done so gradually, as a team.

ssbean said...

You said a lot. I can't even think clearly tonight, so it was probably a bad time to read/skim the post. Personally, I think OBGYN's throw clomid to a patient too quickly. IMO, taking a medication when you don't need it could do more harm than good, or at least that was my experience. I mean who knows, maybe I did need it, but definitely not before the endo was taken care of. Out of curiosity can clomid make endometriosis worse? Just wondering because it seemed like after clomid, my cycles were worse. Maybe it was just coincidence. Does having infertility conditions make you infertile and/or is the amount of time you spend TTC, and/or is the amount of treatment you required?

Liz said...

I am with you 100% on the breastfeeding. It makes me crazy when women won't even consider it as an option. It was hard work. I remember the mastitis, the cracked and bleeding nipples, the days when I felt like all I did was nurse my baby, but I'm gearing up to do it all again. It's all totally worth it.

JamieD said...

Your pet peeves are all sooooo true. Bless their pointy little heads.

Calliope said...

I knew I wanted to come to your blog for the "wish you had written it" bingo day. There are SO many posts that you write that are so funny & well written. But I am always drawn to the ones where your schnark is in full force!
xo