Sunday, November 2, 2008

This is just too funny not to share here.

I usually would put the funny stories about things my children say on my other blog (listed in my profile) but this one was just too funny to keep to the smaller audience.

First off, let me explain I do not keep anything from my children. I mean, I don't share problems and adult-only conversations, but I will explain anything they ask. They've asked me how the baby is going to come out and they know the medical explanation. I explained every step of the way during our IVF and FET journey. I showed them the "baby eggs" picture of the original Mod Squad and then the Fab Four when they were transferred in me. I explained we hoped they would grow into babies we would bring home, but also stayed very realistic about how chances are they would die. I explained how this is not how all babies are made, but mommy's belly was hurt once, so we needed help from our doctors.

I was always amazed how well they took in the information. When I explained we wouldn't be having all four babies (~whew!~), Ella looked genuinely sad for her lost potential brothers and sisters, but she also showed her excitement towards the one baby we were growing. Even now, she knows we may not be able to take Karl home with us, but our doctors are taking really good care of mommy so he will be born healthy.

For us, "protecting" our children seems like we're just setting them up for bigger disappointment later on. So we have decided, as parents, to answer any questions as they arise, but more specifically, answer them truthfully. When Great Grandma died, she didn't go "to sleep". She died. When they questioned how the baby will come out, I drew a picture of my uterus and cervix and explained how the cervix will open up when the baby is ready and then I'll have to push him out through my vagina. They take it all in very matter of fact and it's awesome. Of course, we don't tell them things they just shouldn't know now, like sex, but I'm sure we do tell most than most parents do. Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe most parents give this much information.

On to the funny story ...

Ella (4 years old) was asking about what happens to dead people. I explained the difference between burial and cremation. I explained what the coffin looks like and how it all works. I explained all the steps in cremation, including the fire burning all parts of our bodies into ash. I approached it slowly, as to not scare her, and was able to explain why it's not scary and why it doesn't hurt. I told her when I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes sprinkled into the ocean. She was okay with that and we went on with our day.

Later, while on the phone with Grandma, I hear her say, out of the blue, "Guess what? When Mommy dies, we're going to set her on fire and throw her ass into the ocean."

I almost peed myself. I probably would have if I could have seen Grandma's face.

26 comments:

Lori said...

OMG. That's so funny!

Your children took it better than mine did.

http://weebleswobblog.blogspot.com/2007/10/one-of-my-stupider-moments.html

Ali said...

That is so hysterical! I love the way kids interpret stuff!

Nikki said...

LOL! That's hilarious!

Hollie said...

LOL for real. That is funny. You never know what will come out of a kid's mouth.

Mareike said...

That's hilarious. (I hope it wasn't said with TOO much delight.) I'm with you. I answered my kids questions as they came up. Trevor (middle child) was the most inquisitive. One day when he was only about five we were sitting on the floor with our dog. We were at her back end and Trevor pointed to her anus and asked "what's that for" I said "that's where the poop comes out." He then pointed to her vagina and asked the question again. I said, if she has babies that's where they will come out. He then looked at me and asked, "do you have one of those?" I answered him truthfully. Very strange questions for such a young boy but if he was smart enough to ask them the least I could do was answer. He wasn't a whole lot older when he asked me "if you don't want any more kids is there a way not to have them?" I have no idea what prompted the question. (maybe he was annoyed with his younger brother?)

Sara said...

Haha - that is too funny. Kids say the darndest things, don't they?

Glad you had a great date night last night!

Me said...

NICE!!!

Mandy said...

this story is hilarious!!!

soapchick said...

OMG how hilarious!! Out of the mouths of babes.

Cate said...

Hilarious!

ssbean said...

That was too funny.
As for being honest with your kids, especially when they ask questions, you go girl. My mom was very honest with me, as I had questions and I really appreciated that about her. But at the same time, I know that's not really the norm. I plan on being honest with my children, even if my husband can't find it in him to discuss some of the questions a child ask.

Wordgirl said...

OMG -- That IS funny.

Beautiful pictures by the way Nancy -- how could you not think of yourself as beautiful girlfriend?

Totally,

Love,

Pam

P.S. - and when I see you -- I know I will recognize you. xo

Carrie said...

THAT is hilarious!

I agree that you should be honest and explain things to kids when they ask rather than brush it off or sugar coat it. That is just setting them up for future disappointment and since they are young, they do take it in stride.

I just had a conversation with my 10-year-old niece this weekend who overheard a political ad that mentioned abortion. She asked what that word meant so I told her - without any gory details - and why some people believe it is okay. This then led to an explanation of what rape was - again, without gory details - and at the end of the conversation, she said, "Okay. Let's go make cupcakes!" She's now informed and we made some delicious chocolate cupcakes.

Io said...

Ha! I almost peed myself just reading this! the addition of the word "ass" really just brings it to whole new level of awesome.

Jen said...

So very, very funny! What a great way to summarize it, LOL!

jenn said...

I laughed out loud on that one! Priceless.
I'm also all for appropriately aged honesty- like you said there are always certain things that they just won't need to know about at certain ages. My mom was that way with me & I knew how babies were made & born in preschool. I told the story & was then told the fairy tale version from a friend. I cried to mom that day for thinking she lied to me. Odd that I was easily convinced the fairy tale was real... I was quickly set straight!

JamieD said...

I have GOT to have kids . . . that is so funny!!

Jen said...

That is so funny! I was sitting up in my room reading your post and laughed out loud. That is great!

Sarah R said...

LOL! Thanks for the laugh! That is ~so~ incredibly funny....OMG! What a hoot!

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Also, I think it's great that you explain things in real terms, as they are, to your kids. I was still shocked when we had 5th grade health and they were explaining what a vagina was. Um, I learned that when I was very, very young. I had to snicker to think someone wouldn't know what THAT was at age 10.

Elana Kahn said...

Wow...that is so awesome. I've been crying for a few minutes (completely unrelated to pregnancy) and that actually made me giggle in between sobs. lol

Lisa said...

That is the funniest thing... I would have loved to see the reaction on your Mom's face!

I think you are doing right by your kids in keeping them in the know. That way you can control what they learn and how they learn it. Otherwise, they hear it from the wrong sources and usually end up misinformed.

Anonymous said...

You never cease to crack me up. I love that story. Awesome!!
~Velma

Katherine said...

OK...that totally made day. I am laughing my ass off!

Femme au Foyer said...

Hahahahahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh! GREAT story!

docgrumbles said...

awesome!!!

sacredandscarred said...

Funny!