3dp3dt - Oh yes, this is going to continue.

I haven't had a real 2ww since my IUI in January. Before that, September. In fact, in the 20 "cycles" I have gone through, only 8 had anything remotely resembling a 2ww. Nine including this cycle.

Out of those 9 2wws, only 2 actually may have worked, because previous to my Jan IUI (3rd IUI, 4th triggered monitored cycle), I was full of scar tissue where the RE said any fertilized eggs would have had nowhere to go.

Goodness. Now I have to break it down ...

4 annovulatory cycles (reason unknown, although assumed cysts)
3 annovulatory cycles (with diagnosed cysts being reason)
4 surgery cycles (surgery in first few days of cycle, then 6-8 weeks of healing before new cycle was allowed to start)
3 IUI cycles (2 were during unknown scar tissue times)
1 IVF cycle with cancelled transfer
1 mock cycle with cancelled transfer
1 bcp pre-ivf suppression cycle
1 cancelled IUI due to presence of cyst (given bcps to suppress)
1 monitored and triggered cycle (during unknown scar tissue time)
1 FET cycle (yay!!)

All of that and this cycle is really only my 2nd real chance because my uterus is finally scar tissue free.

~~~

So, today is 3dp3dt. I woke up to little bitty cramping which an hour later, I no longer feel. I am in such unknown territory right now, because I don't know the timing of anything with embryo transfers - being 3d or 5d or even from frozen. No idea. So I get to obsess and notate everything! yay! Oh yes, I am going to dive deep into this one! After 20 cycles, I deserve some obsessing.

I'm hopeful, yet also expecting a BFN. I can't help but keep the "60% chance of a BFN" in the forefront of my mind. But I do hope. I do ~hope~ it's a BFP. There still is a 40% chance of a BFP and that's pretty darn good too. Nothing else to do but simply wait and keep track and see what happens.

If this doesn't work, I'll be good to go into the June IVF schedule. Good thing about having no stimulation this cycle - I won't have anything to suppress. Having a future plan really helps when a current plan may come crumbling down at any moment. This was the worst aspect of the history of my cycles - bad news didn't come with a new chance. It came with waiting. Waiting that could last as much as 8 weeks.

I have my plan, but more importantly, I have my now. My present. My Fab Four.