Tuesday, May 20, 2008

How many?

I keep getting comments here and there about "I wonder how many are in there!" and my answer is most definitely ----> One.

With such a late implantation, the odds that ~two~ implanted is off the charts. So that alone tells me I only have one baby in there. Another indication is my beta levels. I used my first beta as a "12dpo" level, because that was the earliest the chart took into consideration.

As you can see, my levels are well around "average" for a singleton:


If I account for late ovulation and put these numbers in earlier (as you can see by the red line way over to the left), I'd still be included in the "average" numbers. Even if I put in my first number as "7dpo", I would only then hit the "high" mark.


This is ~more than okay~ with me. Although twins is just so cute and special, I wouldn't want to have a set now. Maybe as my first two babies, but I already have two. I wanted three kids. And while I was okay with ending up with twins, for us, a singleton is the very best thing. There are so many reasons (for us).

~ I pay over $16,000/year in daycare for two kids. I am trying to figure out how I'm going to swing $24,000 with the addition of one more. $32,000/year for 4 kids is just out of reach.

~ One more child is going to fit in our cars great. We both have 3 row seating, but being able to fold one side down in the back for some storage space and to get child #3 in/out will be beneficial.

~ I am seriously pro breastfeeding (although I am ~not~ anti formula). It was hard to keep the milk supply up for the entire first year for one baby - I couldn't imagine having to pump enough milk for two babies. Hell, I can't imagine just making enough milk for two babies when they are on the breast for each feeding - although I know it can be done. It would just take a lot of work and constant feedings and well, I want to be able to give my time to the babies I already have. This could be different if twins were the only children I have, but not as babies 3 and 4.

~ Again with the time. Twins are just so amazingly hard for those first months. I still want to be able to see my other kids. As it is now, I can keep my girls home from daycare while I'm on maternity leave. I don't think I'd be able to do that if I had twins on my hands.

~ This one is selfish - since I am a working mom, I only get 12 weeks home with the baby. If I go on bedrest before the babies are born, that would eat away at the 12 weeks I get. See, maternity leave at my company is 6 weeks, but I can take up to 12 weeks on FMLA. No matter what, I would get 6 weeks after the birth. So if I was on bedrest for months and months, I would still have those 6 weeks. But I'm greedy and I want all 12 AFTER the baby is born. This is why I do not take off any time before my due date. Heck, with Allison, I was sitting at my desk while I was in labor! Talk about working until the last moment!

Of course I am a little sad to think I am "only" having one. But I have to keep in mind that for OUR SITUATION, adding a single baby is the very best option. I'm thrilled for those of my friends who are having twins, so I'll just live vicariously through them!

Let me add that I've obviously been wrong before, so I may have to eat my words again. If I ended up with twins, I would make it work - no matter how hard it would be. The things I wrote above would become issues I'd have to figure out, but all could be solved.

26 comments:

Sarah R said...

It's not selfish at all for you to want the full 12 weeks after the baby is born. I think everyone deserves that option and I feel bad for people who work at small workplaces that don't qualify for FMLA.

If I had another one (big if, since DH says he's our one and only), I would consider moving to Canada so I could get my full year off! Kidding, but the thought is tempting...

Anonymous said...

NOT selfish at all!! Your house is tiny too! You would need to add on. Besides the grands take care of your daycare, so don't worry about that. Remember the check that shocks you every year? They would keep doing it

Congrats. You deserve this. You have tried so hard! It couldn't have happened to a better person! I've watched your blog for forever and am thrilled for you!

Kate

TwoAngelsMom said...

Nancy, you are an amazing women! As hard as twins would be (especially with two others), I'm sure that you could handle it. It sounds like you have wonderful support.

Anyhow, what I'm really getting at is that I am so so so very happy for you. I about cried when I saw your blog last night.

Congrats!

trisha said...

nancy, although i want you to have twins for my own selfish reasons (i have no friends w/ twins), i am glad you get what is perfect for your family. And htanks for saying your not anti formula.

Jewels said...

I'm still going to vote 2, only because I can't Not. ::wink::

I like the Idea of Moving to Canada too, Heck I almost like the idea of being a SAHM, other than I like the fast pace of the business world too much. Although at times, I feel like I'm a SAHM who has a 40 hour a week job, between answering phones, accounts receivables, admin work and over the phone confrences with the school, e-mails with the teachers, pick up and drop off's on lunch break, Hee - either way, being a mom never ends.

waitinginline said...

I don't think it's selfish to want the full 12 weeks, either. Being home with your kids will be wonderful for them...you won't be the only one enjoying it, that's for sure!

nancy said...

Kate - the "grands" don't take care of daycare, WE DO. Yes, they've given us a couple checks that shocked us, but it's not "every year", it was just twice. Even then, it came FAR from "taking care" of it. It just helped out with about half of it - twice.

Thanks for the congrats though! I just had to set the record straight on what I do and don't get. Just because I got something twice, certainly doesn't mean I will continue to get it. :) I sure wish I did.

Kristen said...

Congratulations on some beautiful beta numbers! I hope everything works out just how you want it to :)

Denise said...

Oh crap. I didn't even think about the bed rest eating into FMLA time. Huh.

Kate said...

Just delurkng to say congrats!

Anonymous said...

I don't blame you in the slightest--I had a hard enough time with one newborn at a time. I have total admiration for those women who do manage twins and manage them well, but it's not for me. There's nothing wrong with you saying it's not what you want either.

--Kristin

Chas said...

You have just pointed out many of the things I'm anxious about right now...breastfeeding especially.

I definitely don't think it's selfish of you to want to spend as much time home with your new baby as you can! It would stink to be put on bed rest for months and then only get 6 weeks off with the baby. I remember when Lila turned 6 weeks old thinking how I couldn't begin to imagine leaving her with a daycare at that age (I was a teacher and her near the end of the school year, so I had a longer maternity leave b/c of the summer).

Chris said...

Hey, Congratulations! So happy for you!

JamieD said...

My hubby and I have always talked about how fun it would be to have twins. And I am sure we think that because we DON'T have twins!! If we had any real idea about how much work it was, we would choke. I couldn't imagine what it would be like with two girls at home ;-)

Anonymous said...

From another third time mom (well currently 32 weeks pregnant with the 3rd), also from a multiple transfer of frozen embryos from the first round of IVF, a huge Congratulations to you Nancy. I also had people hoping that we had two babies, while I was hoping for a healthy singleton. When do you get your next beta? Congrats again, Kristen

serenity said...

Delurking to say congratulations!

And no, you're not selfish for wanting your full leave.

What's up with not getting a discount for multiple kids in daycare? You'd think they'd make it easier on you.

Anyway. Congratulations. I'm really happy for you!

Twin Mama said...

Congrats! I've been following your story for awhile and I'm very happy that this finally happened for you!

I understand your reasonings to not exactly hope for twins this time around. My twins are my first (and probably only) and it's the only thing I know. I think it's more difficult to go from having a singleton (or two) to then have twins - yikes!

However, I did want to clear up that you don't necessarily go on bedrest or get pulled out of work just because you have a twin pregnancy. I worked right up to 38 weeks with mine and never spent a single day on bedrest (and conversely, many of my friends went on bedrest with only ONE child).

Also - breastfeeding - difficult but totally doable. Your body produces what it needs. I know many twin (and triplet) moms who breastfed for 1 year+.

But it looks like one healthy bean for you, so YAY!!

jenn said...

I definitely think it's only one also- you know I'm pulling for George ;o)

I like the baby widget by the way- far less creepy than the other one, although I am fascinated by the other one at times...

Krista said...

I'm thrilled for you! Hope there is one super healthy baby in there!

AlmostMrsJoyner said...

Delurking to say congratulations!! And I agree..twins are so cute and special, but they are a lot of work..and I work at a preschool so I know how expensive it is (although, if you lived in my area, we'd give you a discount for having 3 at once place :) But anyway, congratulations again!!

Jen said...

OH MY GOODNESS! Last time I was here, we were looking at a BFN! Now we're looking at Beta levels!

I did my catching up: CONGRATULATIONS!

And may I add that it's not selfish at all to want the perfect scenario for your life.

Anonymous said...

Your story is AMAZING! I'm an anon bc I'm too lazy to make an account on here, & I only lurk on the TTC:ITSG group on WebMD (TTC: After Loss is my home there. it seems in the TTC world that getting pregnant but not being able to stay pregnant is not considered infertility. oh well.) Anyways-- I just wanted to tell you how much I love your blog, & what an inspiration you are to those of us still struggling to build a family. Thank you for your honestly & for sharing your story with all of us. Definelty looking forward to reading all the preggo updates! Congratulations & enjoy the next nine months!!

Anonymous said...

Huge CONGRATS to you and your family. I've been following your journey (we were DD buddies when you were pregnant with Allison). I can't wait to hear about all things baby-related in the coming 9 months. YAY!!!

Shawn
DD Riley 9-5-05
DD Spencer 6-7-07

Jen said...

Congrats Miss... Wishing you all the best!

Nic said...

I've been limiting my blog time recently, so hadn't checked in for a while - what fantastic news! I'm so happy for you!!

Dr. Grumbles said...

One is a very nice number.