7dp3dt (and a vent)

negatory.

I was just hoping to complete a cycle, not a bfp, right?

Wow. I'm really going to have to disengage from all thing baby and pregnant and everything. I know it's not over yet, but I can feel my heart breaking into pieces already.

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vent: Have you ever known some girls who are so fucking clueless in all things reproductive speaking, their questions finally become too much to handle? I find myself hoping to God they just get pregnant so they'll stop asking questions. It's like they don't learn from question to question - they just keep asking the same thing in different ways - each and every month.

And hello? GOOGLE. It's a great tool. Use it. Stop asking us questions that you can easily look up. I know, we all ask the occasional question we could of looked up - and that's fine. But day after day after day. And I know the rule of "there are no stupid questions", but there are. I'm sorry but "I'm going to be 2dpo - can I go on a bike ride?" and then updating us about said bike ride 8,000 times is getting on my nerves. Is it possible to live your day to day life without asking a bunch of ttc-ers every single little question? What if no internet girls were online? Would you sit at home and not ride your bike?

Argh. There are two girls like this currently in my message board life. They both aren't from the same sub-board, (thank God), but seriously, one of these days I'm going to finally lose it. I've tried the "just ignore" them thing, but it. is. just. so. fucking. hard.

I'm just waiting for their bfp announcements and then they'll go away and start bugging all the pregnant boards with their asinine questions. "omg! I ate a hot dog! Did I kill my baby?" Of course these are the girls who ~will~ get pregnant, you know? Oh - and then they'll act like the ttc experts. Just you watch.

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I just spent the last 10 minutes moving the next group of "now pregnant" girls from the "TTC" folder to the "babies" folder. And while I'm happy for them, it saddens me that we'll now lose touch. They are now in that happy place of "all pregnant all the time" and I'm not. It's just too hard. But they won't miss me. They got a whole new life to care about. And I know this will be "my fault". Or the fault of my life sucking uterus and shit lining that can't seem to hold onto even one of four perfect embryos.

Live in Colorado? It's a good time to join the coloBloggers group right now too - seems that joining = pregnancy (except for me and one other girl. And come to think of it, every one of the ttc girls have gotten pregnant from their recent IVFs and natural cycles. There has been loss, yes. Chemical pregnancies and recurrent m/c, but everyone gets pregnant - I can't even accomplish that.) I don't think I'll be able to go to the next meeting. I don't think I can leave my heart at home and I don't think my heart can take all those bellies. I wish I was stronger, but I'm not. Just thinking about attending and having to deal makes me cry even harder. Fuck. I wish I could just suck it up.