Saturday, May 17, 2008

I'm still here!

I took the two tests again this morning and both were BFPs.

~ I bought another box of the digitals, just because that is the only test that I can truly compare results. If that one goes negative, I know my levels have gone down. And we know it picked up only 15 yesterday, so I know today my levels are at least still 15.

~ I didn't have any of those extra sensitive medical strips my RE uses, so all I could do was pick up a box of FRER. The test this morning showed a very light second line, but a second line nonetheless. FRER is supposed to be sensitive as low as 25 - so either my numbers have gone up to 25 so FRER could pick it up, or it's picking up the 15 I had. Until I can compare tomorrow's test, I will have no idea. My levels may just be stagnant and not increasing. But at least I know they aren't DEcreasing. Which is promising.

This weekend is going to be FILLED with waiting. Ugh. But what else can I do? I want Monday to get here and show me doubling numbers and I want SO BADLY to eat my words of "this cycle failed". I want to shout out how wrong I was for counting myself out and I want to apologize to everyone who gave me support when I was simply jumping the gun. But, damn it, that's just going to have to wait until Monday.


In other "news" ...

Check out this comment I got from "anonymous" last night ...

"I guess God even has pity on people who spew as much venom as you do. Good luck to your third child. Lord knows the first two will need years of therapy after having a mother like you. Make sure you keep your butt on 1st tri on WebMD and stay off our boards. No one on 3rd tri is interested in you ruining or last few weeks of our wonderful pregnancies."

Pretty "good" person, don't you think? And this is the type of person to use God in her ramblings to me. Ridiculous. I must say my favorite part is the threat "keep your butt on 1st tri". Seriously entertaining. I love when girls get all drama. It's SO funny.

Could you imagine the type of person you would be to say something like this to someone else? I may speak my mind and discuss the hard topics, but I would NEVER say something like this to someone. I never have and I never will. It's just so sad. I pity her. Heh - and she says she's sorry for ~my~ children. Very ironic if you ask me.

(About the comment of 3rd tri ... Whenever I was pregnant and in my 3rd trimester, my due date always seemed so far away. I loved to lurk on 1st tri to see what the new due dates are. So last time, I simply posted a quick comment on 3rd tri to give them the "newest" due date out there - to make them feel better about how far they've come. And that's all I did yesterday. But apparently, what I did was "ruining or last few weeks of our wonderful pregnancies". I think that should be "our last few weeks", but as you all may already know, people who would type this kind of comment to someone isn't the smartest marble in the bag. It's not her fault, her IQ can only take her so far, right?)


waitinginline said...

I read that comment. WTF is up with people. Yeah, you're opinionated, but spewing venom? I would never say that. And since when does anyone have to actually read something they don't agree with? And why is it that when people get mean they want to throw God into it? I'll never understand why people can be so damn hateful.

Hooray for more lines! You know I'm rooting for you! (venom or not...tee hee)

nancy said...

I never understood that one either - why would someone who obviously doesn't like me subject themselves to taking the time to not only come check out my blog, but to give me a comment? No sense. But then again - it's another example of that whole IQ thing. ~wink~

Anonymous said...

i'm sorry that there are some anon's out there that have to be so rude to you! i'm anon simply because i'm to lazy to create an account for myself and its just a bit easier this way! =) however, i'm truely rooting for you!! i've 'known' you since your 1st pg from webmd and been stalking you ever since. posted comments here and there but will always wish you the best! your girls are gorgeous and that is a testament to you as their mother. congrats on the lines, i'm sending you lots of sticky vibes!! best of luck and remember, not all anons are ignorant spiteful chickens that hide behind a curtain to say things that they would never say with their name attached!

Duck said...

wow, how do these crazies find you? Sounds AWFUL.

Can't believe your pregnant! So happy for you - i may even get a shot at it - we'll see.
Hope to get a big number on monday.

Cass said...

I am so excited for you! I just read about your bfps yesterday right after finding out that after 2 little boys I am finally having a little girl! I wish monday would get here, I want to hear your numbers, which I'm sure have doubled! About anon, I have "stalked" you and sometimes even asked you for information and you have never been mean to me. You have never been rude to me. You have never come off as an "evil" person. I don't know who this person is but they clearly need to take a break from the computer. To have so much hate for someone you have never met is not a good thing!

~Carrie said...

I think people like that know, deep down, how stupid they are being - that's why they always post as 'anonymous' ;) But I guess they figure if they mention God, it just makes everything ok!

Hope your weekend goes by very quickly! I know you must be going nuts, waiting for Monday.

Jen said...

The wait completely blows, but so far so good, right? I'll be on the look out for tomorrow's post in hopes of a darker line on the EPT. Oh and screw anon. Your post on 3rd tri was perfectly nice. Obviously they have issues. I mean if they don't like you why not just ignore you rather than stalking you just to leave rude and obnoxious posts.

Anonymous said...

First off I wanted to say again how happy I am for you!!! Also I want to say what a fucking bitch to type that shit to you. Seriously that is bull. If I were you Id go over to the 3rd Tri and tell "anonymous" to go to hell and get a life. Honeslty what a LOSER to even say that crap... just shows her stupidity. ~Jayme

jenn said...

Unreal. I never understood the mean anon's. Why bother...

Anyway- as promised- your joke for the day- random google search & THIS was today's joke:

'Then there was the Eskimo girl who spent the night with her boyfriend and next morning found she was six months pregnant.'

Q. What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say?
A. Beat it! We're closed.

how about-
A man with a pegleg, hook hand and an eyepatch went to apply to be a pirate.
Interviewer: How did you get that pegleg?

Pirate: Arrr. I got me leg shot off during the first world war.

Interviewer: How did you get that hook?

Pirate: I got me hand cut off by a big knife.

Interviewer: What about your eyepatch?

Pirate: It was a rainy afternoon and I looked up into the sky and a bird crapped in me eye.

Interviewer: And that put your eye out?

Pirate: No, it was the day after I got me hook.

cheesy- but look- at least 3 minutes have gone by! Monday will be here in no time!


Kaci said...

Hmmm, you could get a less sensitive stick to pee on tomorrow & if it's + then your levels are going up. How's that for logic? They're going up Nancy, this is it! I hope you have to eat your words too. I was so sad and mad for you but deep down I was still thinking "it could still be" - I just thought you probably didn't want to hear it.

Anon needs to get a life. Bah! (Now I'm off to see how many WW points I'll blow on a burger & fries!)

trisha said...

I love how its "OUR BOARDS" . Newsflash Crazy Hormonal Freak: Al Gore created the internet, not you.

Oh, and please keep YOUR butt on webmd, cause we dont need you clogging up other boards where real women support and care about eachother, rather then taking time to come to someones personal blog to internet stalk them.


Chas said...

This probably isn't where you were going with this, but it's what came to mind when I read it. I am a Christian and feel like I have a very close relationship with God. Your anonymous commenter is the very type of person that I feel I should pray for most. She says "I guess God even has pity on people who spew as much venom as you"...this implies a lot of judgment, in my opinion...not on you, Nancy, but on God. It's my belief that He loves us all, believers and nonbelievers, and he'll bless us all over and over in hopes that we'll turn to him. His name should never be used to try to make someone feel bad, never.

Normally, I think anonymous comments should be deleted and forgotten so they don't get the attention they obviously seek, but in this case...maybe it taught her a lesson...probably not, but at least I can say a prayer that she thinks next time before she second guesses God's will.

Shinejil said...

Ugh. How stupid people can be, declaring turf wars on message boards and getting their panties in a bunch over...what? They are message boards, peeps! Lives! Get them. Now. Leave Nancy alone.

Sorry you have to put up with that vitriol at this tense time. I'm rooting for a strong doubling come Monday!

Denise said...

Can't wait to read about the next round of pee sticks! Monday just can't get here soon enough!

And about Anon, fuck her. That's it.

Jewels said...

Wow, I find it very interesting how people mirror them selves through others. In her attempt to save her wonderful pregnancy, she comes over and shits on yours. And you spitting venom? Ummm, her words are nothing less than venom and vehemence. I feel sorry for her kids if she thinks this is an example taking the higher road.
She could simply "stop reading your posts", but she had to get verbal and fight back. Makes her less a person than she claims you to be. And until someone studies another persons life, there parenting skills, psychology, spirituality and social skills, their words are truly ignorant and a product of a low IQ.
I really hope it didn’t come from someone I knew and loved, I will have lost complete respect if it is from one of the girls I know to be in their third tri (whom I know had issues with you but never thought they would act like this).
I just think its great you can find the irony and humor in the whole thing wrather than let it "Ruin Your Pregnancy" as if anyone has that power in the first place.

On the better note.
Congrats again. I'm so glad your posting your thoughts and progress, makes it worth logging onto the computer just to read your blog when there is something new.

Anonymous said...


I just saw your post and wanted to congratulate you. I am so happy that your journey will finally have its happy ending. Take care of yourself and try to stay relaxed. I know it will be difficult, but I am sure it will all work out.

I just wanted to also thank you for your support and advice while I was on the TTC boards. You helped me to get pregnant. Now I have two beautiful healthy 15 day old boys. I truly hope that your little miracle will bring you as much joy.

Take care and I will lurk to see how you are doing...

Lisa (aka: hisangelface)

Jessica said...

OI!! the nerve of some ppl. HUGS Nancy.

Anonymous said...

How freakin rude is that girl!? That crazy bitch doesn't know what she's talking about!

YAY for bfps!!!!! Im soo happy for you Nancy!!!! Can't wait for Monday!!! Try to have a good weekend Nancy!!!

~Michelle~haydensmama(from KC)

KatieM said...

Maybe she was in a complete state of denial that a baby had to come out of her vajajay in a few weeks. You totally just F'ed up her delusion she would be pregnant forever ;-) On a serious note though....glad the pee sticks are still positive and it amazes me how mean and rude people can be in the midst of telling other people how bad they are.

tobacco brunette said...

So apparently you're a crazy magnet, too? : )

Well if I was on WebMD, I'd totally let you hang around 2nd tri if you wanted. No virtual ass kickings from me.

I am SO anxious for both you and Pam/Wordgirl right now. I'm really hoping you're going to have to eat your words on Monday.

Happy waiting...hope it doesn't drag (tho I know better).

nancy said...

Chas ...

About the anonymous comments, I get 'hatemail' every so often and I usually do simply delete it. I have all my comments moderated so usually I don't even read them, but this one starting out as "I guess God" caught my attention. And once I read it and saw how particularly sad this one girl was, that's when I decided to share. It must of really upset her too, because she even outdid herself in the hatefilled words that came out of her head. Poor thing. She's definitely has some serious issues to actually really believe some of the things she commented to me. Having someone hate me doesn't bother me in the least - actually, to be honest, I kind of like that I'm not boring and can envoke this kind of emotion from someone - but this girl is honestly under some severe delusions. Like, she actually believes the craziest things (the stuff she commented on). So I don't know how prayer can help crazy, but I'm sure she could benefit somewhat from someone as awesome as yourself in her corner.

JamieD said...

There is something about posting boards that just brings out the crazies. And not just WebMD - every posting board I have ever been on has one person who is smarter, more deserving and feels they have the right to dictate who can and can't post on "their" board. Bleh. I can't stand it.

On a lighter note, congrats on the two lines and HURRY UP Monday!

Anonymous said...

Therapy? Why in the world would she believe your girls will need therapy? Having an opinionated mother does not require therapy, trust me I know lol. I don't understand why someone would want to rain on your parade, especially when it's obvious that you are already a wonderful mother (as you can see in the pictures of the girls where they are always smiling).

And of course I'm sending all the hopes and prayers and doubling vibes I can muster your way.


Jen said...

I can't believe someone "said" that...of course it's under "anon" and not with a name! I'll admit when I first "met" you I wasn't sure if I liked you. It was hard for me trying for my first to understand that it could be hard trying for a 3rd. You already have 2 beautiful children...kwim? You had also just started trying for #3 and I couldn't understand your fears when the #2 came so quickly. Anyway, I'd NEVER say or even think what anon says. I figured we just had different opinions.

Of course now that I have a beautiful DD and know that I would like another child, I can see where you were coming from. I never dealt with infertility and will never understand how hard it is...and don't want to either!

Sharon said...

This is fantastic news. Congrats on the 2 lines Nancy, I don't want to say "I told you so", but.... ;)

As for your children - we all know that they will grow up to be independent, free-thinking people who have been encouraged to have their own opinions and to stand by them.

Honestly, where do these crazies come from??

Now if you were with me here in Australia it would be 14 hours closer to Monday. I hope it is here before you know it.

jamie said...

crazy annon comment leavers = sad stupid jealous assholes

Duck said...

Thanks so much for the info Nancy, I've been searching the internet, and all i get is junk on this thin lining stuff.. he hasn't talked about next steps yet, I guess because i just did this hysteroscope he has to shock me with estrogen in order to heal the uterus, i think, so if the lining is thick enough we will just move ahead, i'm hopefull, but, trying to be realistic (how much damage could a little scar tissue due to the lining?).
I like the femera idea, i did femera back when i did my iui and my lining was a 6, which was farily decent for me... my RE is not big on the vi*agra for women, but, after both you and Denise's experience I'm going to go in there demanding those little blue pills....
ANYWAY, thanks again for all the info, it really helps to know exactly what worked for someone else with a lame lining.

trisha said...

Nancy, i love to be makes me realize that I am interesting and provoke strong opinions. I always pat myself on the back when someone is mad at me.

So good job! Keep being who you are and make no apologies.

Anonymous said...

You know they say that people who have to put others down do so because they have low self-esteems and have to make themselves feel better. I guess she doesn't realize that it goes 1st, 2nd, and then 3rd tri?? She doesn't even know you (above your vents) so how does she know what type of mother you are?? She needs to stand behind her words with a name.


Cat said...

You freakin' crack me up, seriously.

Toni said...

Goodness, love how she is giving the christians a good name. I promise you Nancy not all of us are hypocrites LOL. Speaking of spewing venom does she realize she is the one actually doing it. People amaze me. Sounds like a few people I remember.

Kim said...

So sorry! I notice that a lot of these 'mean girls' are anonymous! They have such strong points of view and opinions yet don't identify themselves! But all anons are definitely not mean!