Sara had it right (her comment to "I don't deserve this"). I'm simply overly grateful and humbled by everything. Sometimes it takes me taking a mental (or blogal) inventory of everything I have to ~see~ it for what it is.
(note: "Come Out Tonight" is just a bit of spoken word from the late Steven Bernstein. It's AMAZING to listen. Why not listen now?)
Today marks post #600. Wow.
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
(515)
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October
(41)
- ~~ I Gained Weight!!! ~~
- Pictures are fun.
- Sorry Tampa Bay
- WhatEVER Chicklet.
- Because I'm an Idiot Too.
- I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie
- It's hard to keep my mouth shut
- The Day After
- I Feel Like Such a Fool.
- Sexy Hot (and pregnant?)
- A Few Quick Pictures
- I'm in Arizona
- My Boy's 1st Tees
- Bullets.
- We got robbed.
- Sometimes I just can't help myself.
- ICLW!
- Things I don't "do"
- It's monday.
- There's always two ways to look at something.
- Come Out Tonight.
- I don't deserve this.
- Name just ~one~ thing.
- My Cost of Infertility
- I have a new post for today
- I'm lighting my candle now.
- Do you know what today is?
- HumDillyDum.
- Elective Inductions?
- Sheesh. Do I post ~that~ much?
- A poll for infertiles.
- Things I learned from IF.
- Let's get it going on a Monday
- A question for the mommies out there ...
- Photographic Proof I ~am~ a Dork.
- Staying up past midnight.
- Thank Goodness it's Friday.
- The Big Baby Penis.
- No baby shower for me and Karl.
- My body
- Home Schooling.
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October
(41)
5 comments:
Oh Nancy,
I loved that spoken word by the way -- lovely lovely -- just like you.
And you deserve it. Every bit of it.
Love,
me
Nancy, Your "I don't deserve this" post was so thought provoking. I understood what you were saying, at the same time it got me thinking about the concept of deserving our fortunes and misfortunes in life. Did I deserve to conceive and bear three healthy children with no problems while others struggle? Do I deserve that my three children grew up to be the finest young people I know while others are struggling? Did I deserve the pain of having my husband leave me for another woman when my youngest child was five? Do I deserve the pain of Rheumatoid arthritis? You see, I hate the concept. To suggest that we have so much because we deserve it suggests that those less fortunate are less deserving. I don't want to live in that world. Life isn't fair. My feeling is that we need to share our wealth with the less fortunate. I'm not speaking solely of material wealth (that's all relative anyway) I'm speaking of relating to people with love and understanding. Kind words and actually listening to other people. Respect for differences in opinion. Sometimes it's as little as smiling and saying hello to someone you pass on the street rather than lowering your head and not acknowleding their existence. People are social animals (yes I said that) and it's so sad when some people are left feeling invisible. Well I've been going on. Take care everyone and be of good spirit.
I can identify. I think alot of people feel this way.
You deserve your happiness Nancy. Enjoy life because it's short. Just take things one day at a time.
Happy 600th Post!
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