Saturday, October 4, 2008

Staying up past midnight.

Back in "the day" my nights wouldn't even start until midnight. Yet last night, I got home a few minutes before midnight and I felt like I was a rock star.

Me and my friend, Laurel (no blog, but you see her comments around the blogosphere occasionally) went to a 9:55pm showing of "Burn After Reading". For any of you looking for a movie to see, I ~highly~ recommend it. It's classic Coen brothers, so it's definitely a dark comedy, but I loved it. So did Laurel. It's got an ending that anyone used to the Coen brothers would expect, so if you like movies that have to wrap up all the loose ends and questions, maybe this movie isn't for you.

The cast consisted of a very dorky Brad Pitt, a neurotic George Clooney, a clueless Frances McDormand, a smart ass braniac John Malkovich and a very bitchy Tilda Swinton. There were others in cast who played smaller parts, but their appearances made the movie for what it was. There was Richard Jenkins (the dead dad in Six Feet Under), David Rasche (I remember him most as the detective Sledge Hammer from the late 1980's series of the same name) and last but definitely not least, J.K. Simmons (apparently he's the police chief in the tv show "The Closer", but I remember him most recently as the psychologist on "Law & Order" and as Vern Schillinger in the HBO show "Oz"). Simmons' part was very small in the movie, but I may have laughed hardest at his lines.

Back to my night. Not only was I staying up past midnight, I wore my brand new Buffalo "secret fit belly" jeans:

And I wore my very favorite pair of Michael Kors heels. So yes, in my mind, I was a rock star.

A word about this new fangled "secret fit belly" thing. When shopping a bit for maternity clothes, I kept coming across this description. It's brand new to me, so it wasn't available when I was pregnant with Allison (2005) and I just didn't understand what the big deal was. Full paneled pants have been around forever. And then I tried them on. HOLY CRAP. It is awesome. The panel is ~thin~ and goes all the way up to your bra line, so the seam doesn't show through any of your shirts. I have some great full paneled jeans from the gap, but the stupid panel is a blue, to match the jeans. But the problem is jeans aren't supposed to go up over your entire belly, so having the panel matching the jeans looks ridiculous underneath your shirts. And again, the lack of a big seam across the top of your belly rules. I definitely give this one two thumbs up. Hell, I give it 4 thumbs up since my body technically has 4 thumbs all together for the time being.

My wonderful husband waited up for me last night (even though he had to get up at 6am) and my night continued to be rock star~esque. Let's just say neither of us went to bed until nearly 2am.

note: although I've already been talking about the p-thing in this post, this one goes a little deeper. I'm not one to give too many warnings, as if you are reading this, you probably already have the idea I'm pregnant, but the next paragraph may be a little hard to read if you aren't in the same place as I am. If you are having a hard weekend, just skip the rest and leave your comment before going off to the next blog. (yes, yes, I'm a comment whore. I ~lurve~ me my comments!)

The belly. Mine is now very pronounced and I love it. (Poor Laurel. I kept rubbing it and going on and on about the pants and this and that before I realized "nancy, shut the fuck up because you are talking to one of your ttc-sisters. I apologized, but only after the first good hour. Again, I'm sorry Laurel!) It's not in that super taut yet, so it's still nice and soft. I personally feel ~so~ sexy, but alas, my husband does not. He would rather me keep it covered by a sheet or a pillow when we're "in bed" so he doesn't have to see it during the act. But for me, I want to show it off and I want him to caress me there. Since I know how he doesn't share in my idea of sexy, I try to do what I can.

Last night, I didn't want to hide it. Instead, I slept nude and uncovered and snuggled my back up against his chest. So it was out there, no missing it. Yet I noticed how his hands never touched it. In fact, I noticed how he intentionally avoided it. He would run his hand up my thigh, around my ass, come forward to my hip in that little divot between pubic bone and hip bone. Then he would trace back, moving up my side and then moving in again when his hand was at breast height where he would continue. But he ~never~ touched my belly.

It actually made me a bit sad that he needed to pretend my belly doesn't exist. I think the swollen belly is just so powerful, as it is an outward acknowledgement of our love. Not that a couple needs to experience this during the baby experience, as it manifests it's way differently for a single person or a couple using a surrogate or adopting, but I have the belly so that's how I feel. And I started to think about it more and asked him, "What do you feel/think of when you touch my belly?" He replied, "I think of our child and it's my only way of bonding with him right now." And with that, I understood.

I feel sexy with the belly because it makes me feel like the epitome of being a woman. But to him, the belly signifies the actual child. I can now see how in the throws of making love, he doesn't want to take a moment to bond with his child. I can't be upset/sad about it anymore, now that I understand, but I still wish he could find me as sexy as I feel.

14 comments:

Jenera said...

My hubby is a bit of a mix of both. He finds me very sexy-he's told me-but he also is a bit disconcerted by the fact that there is in fact a live being in there, lol.

I don't feel as sexy as I'd like because of the odd shape of the belly. But it is a good feeling knowing just what is being accomplished inside of our bodies during this time. I do feel 'cute' more days than not which makes me feel better which of course makes the hubby notice.

I can see where it might sting a little though.

Candi B. said...

Don't you LOVE those Secret Fit jeans?? Its all I wear...and I may continue after I am no longer PG...LOL!

Geohde said...

I'm just jealous that you feel so good- I had such a miserable pregnancy that my poor husband never got any action :)

J

Sara said...

Sounds like you had an awesome night! I would totally love to see that movie - not so sure about my hubby though.
Ya know, I never thought of the belly the way your husband does. But it completely makes sense. My husband was not much of a belly rubber, either. I wonder why?
Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I must get back to painting.

The Captain's Wife said...

I am still not loving the secret belly fit. I think maybe my belly just isn't big enough yet. I find that the thin cover slides down and I am pulling up my pants a lot. I have 2 pairs of jeans and a pair of cords that I love, but they annoy me to pull up all the time.

Love Coen Bros movies and very much looking forward to seeing it.

I was really worried how my DH would take my belly as it grew, but he has been really wonderful. He tells me at least once a day how beautiful I look, asks if I am feeling anything, touches it while we watch TV...and after our "rock star" moments he rests his hand there..I think as a way to say..."sorry little one, I know your in there but I was horny!" (lol)

Hope the rest of your weekend is equally as exciting!

Jess said...

I totally love the belly thing on the jeans! Without it, I feel really uncomfortable these days!

Katie said...

Oh goodness, your blogs have been on my wavelength these days....first of all, I bought my first pair of secret fits last weekend and LOVE them!!! Secondly, I've been dealing with the "I feel extremely sexy pregnant, but my husband does not think so" issue since about 18 weeks...just too embarrassed to blog about it I guess.

DH and I haven't had sex since I was 18 weeks along. He says he can't get in the mood knowing his son is actually in my tummy. Oh, he still calls me beautiful and always talks about how in awe he is of me pregnant, but nothing sexual...which sucks, because I'm in the mood A LOT....My situation is a little different though because at least you are still having sex, but I completely understand what you mean.

I figured it out and since we can't have sex until 6 weeks PP (and honestly knowing my husband it will be more like 8ish), and the last time we had sex was around the end of June....DH and I haven't/won't have sex for about 7 months in a row.....AND if you consider we've only had sex 2 times since conception we will go from March 08 to about Jan. 09 with only being intimate twice....oh my god, that makes me sad.

Jeez, could I make this any longer and pathetic? LoL. Glad you felt like a rockstar last night ;-)

Sarah R said...

I'm sure you looked hot for your movie date! I agree--pregnant women are sexy. It's all what you make of it. I loved being pregnant and I think I looked and felt my best! I got tons of compliments. I even said 9 months isn't really a long time to be pregnant! :D

soapchick said...

I bet you looked so dang sexy in your jeans, your shoes, and your nice round belly sticking out. If I ever do get pregnant, I have a feeling my husband will be like yours. Which sucks because I think pregnant bellies are beautiful and SEXY! I'm happy you feel so good!

Topcat said...

My hubbie didn't give a shit how big my belly got ... he would go for it like no tomorrow, even late third tri. I'm sure he still would if I had f*cking triplets in there.

jenn said...

I'm glad you had such a rock star evening- I will have to keep that secret fit thing in mind- I hate that in my micro-bump there is this line for the belly band.

I honestly don't know what is up with the hub- there's been little to no love in 12 weeks. i have no realy belly yet so I don't think that's a factor. I'm glad your hubby was able to explain to you so you at least understand -and still get some! lucky girl ;o)!

Liz said...

About the belly, my husband likes it all the time--except when we're having sex. Then, it's a bit more like your situation the other night.

On a very "me" note, I am much more comfortable sexually this pregnancy than the last, which is very nice for both of us.

Amanda said...

I'm glad you had such a wonderful time going out. I have to say you must have looked like one hot mama with your secret fit jeans and heels! I completely agree that a pregnant woman can be sooo sexy.

As far as my husband goes, e's right in line with Topcat's. He'd give it to me any time I wanted if I'd let him. My belly doesn't bother him at all. I don't recall him ever touching it, though (now that I think about ti). Of course I'm going on the 3 times we've had sex since conception. I actually have a problem with it. The only times I felt really sexy were while I was so sick. Now I'm not too sick, but I'm so damn big...ugh. I can't even think of a way to go about it where the belly wouldn't be in my way.

Wordgirl said...

Oh Nancy,

Sometimes I think the power of women can be terrifying for men.

I think its sexy though, just for the record --and I've never had one -- but if I did I think I'd be all over it.

XO

Pam