Monday, October 20, 2008

Things I don't "do"

Yeah, I'm feeling schnarky again and I feel like being schnarky aloud. So here is a list of things that either annoy me, things I don't do or thing that just make me laugh. (no offense. really. I promise. okay, maybe a little.)

1. Tampa Bay fans. Yeah, yeah, call me a sore loser (I am) but come on. How do ~you~ spell BANDWAGON? I spell it T-a-m-p-a-B-a-y. "95 percent of Tampa didn't give a damn about the Rays until July 2008" was what Daniel Penza says of the phenomena of florida bandwagoners today. I heard a statistic today I can't quite remember exactly, but there were something like 9 games sold out in tampa bay previous to the postseason. 9. Out of like 81. How many games sold out at fenway? Yeah. All of them. And I bet you a million dollars the sold out games were because of red sox fans filling their covered stadium. In Florida. Uh-huh. And really. Cowbells? How dumb is that?

2. New Kids on The Block. I. Just. Don't. Get. It. At all.

3. Scrapbooking. Like, I understand it makes for a pretty presentation. I get that. But full on stores dedicated to it? Weekend conventions? Really? I had to go into a scrapbooking store with a friend a few months ago to get some paper. And there were ~tons~ of women oogling the latest paper cutter. And there I was, all tattoo'd walking around totally lost. One woman actually pulled her child close to her as I walked by. Heh. That's so fucking awesome.

4. Religion. Yeah, I probably shouldn't put this one here due to the nature of the subject. I kind of wish I believed in it actually. The aspect of death would be totally easier to deal with. That's for damned sure.

5. The stupid TBS announcers. All hail NESN.

6. Pretentious people who work at starbucks. Look, I'm sorry I screw up in ordering a freaking coffee. But guess what? You make $7/hour. I can buy you. Stop rolling your eyes when I'm not up on the new name you've made up for the coffee I've been ordering for 12 years.

7. Resolutioners. This is the name I've made up for all the people who inundate the gym every January. It's got a simple fix though, they'll be gone by February.

8. People who ~gasp~ at what other's paid for a handbag or a pair of shoes or whatever. Look, some people like luxury items and they make budgets to buy the item(s) they covet. I don't ~gasp~ at your $3 clearance sale ross purse, do I?

9. Pretty much ~all~ items of clothing with the name of a "place" on them. I don't know why this one bothers me. Maybe because my mother's wardrobe consists of 95% of t-shirts with the name of some town on it. "Branson". Great. You went to Branson. Okay. (this pretty much contradicts my #8 but it's my list so deal.)

10. OMG. I know. I was sitting here trying to figure out a #10 to give. But I know!!! People who leave lift tickets on their jackets. WHY? They are old. Worthless. No reason for them to stay on your zipper. Or are you just that freaking excited to tell the world you went skiing? Dumb. It's called trash people. Throw it away.

56 comments:

margelina said...

LOL Nancy! Great List!!

Angela said...

#3: You think you were out of place? My sister is a professional scrapbooker. She actually makes money off of it. She also has 4 kids, an eyebrow ring, lost count of her tattoos at 16, and works part-time dj-ing at a small local bar. She was always out of place with scrapbookers! lol. But she did better work than most of the ladies that would hide their kids.

Jen said...

Love the list!! You are great!!

MrsSpock said...

LOL...good list.

#2 I loved NKOTB when I was 12. They were cute boys. Why the hell anyone who is now in their 30s would still be interested is beyond me.

#3 I'd rather gauge out my own eyes than cut and paste for days on end. Ha- aren't you the scary tattooed woman?

#4 Life is so much better on the heathen side of the fence. I like being Pagan. There is a connection to the cycles of life without dogma, deities, sacred texts to interpret however you want, or any us vs. them hoohah.

#6 I hate 19 year old servers who call me honey. I'm old. Call me ma'am.

#8 I only gasp if people pay for luxury items on credit that they can't afford.

mo*reezy said...

ouch. I don't know who Daniel Penza is, but I know he didn't interview me or any of my friends who've been going to Rays games for years. That being said, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing or something to be mocked for a city to get behind its team who after a 10 year struggle have finally come into their own and are working together towards success. And no, I went to three sold-out games this season, and none of those were Red Sox games.

(I know - this is your space to express yourself, but I just had to speak up.)

Not in the Water said...

know what's worse than TB fans? Yankee fans...and worse than that? Sore loser Yankee Fans...who still think their teams rocks.

DH is a red sox fan now and he started liking them b/c he hates the Yankees.

And I don't ski but never got why people leave like 20 lift tickets on their jackets...

Amanda said...

LOL. You crack me up. :)

Laura said...

Happy ICLW! I had to come and leave a message to someone else who is sarcastic. You rock!

The Captain's Wife said...

thanks for the 6am morning giggle nancy....

soapchick said...

Thanks for the early morning entertainment Nancy. I like when you get schmarky (did I spell that right?). Yeah the Tampa Bay thing - ugh - my neighbors are from Boston and they are soooo bummed! The scrapbook store incident - omg, crack me up!

jenn said...

I love it! (I have one- holiday sweaters/sweatshirts. Fine for grannies I guess since they've lived long enough not to give a damn, but my own mother has a collection of them that is at least 25 years old, for every holiday too. she's 56. I hate them!)

ooh- also- going out in public in your pj's & slippers. I'm sorry, but it takes no less time to throw on some pants & shoes.
That's it- didn't mean to encroach on your list!

sara said...

Great list - yeah I don't get NKOTB or scrapbooking either. My MIL loves to scrapbook. So I am giving her some photos and telling her to "have at it" since she wants to do a pregnancy one for us. But me - yeah, not so much. Hope you're doing well!

Geohde said...

Also not religious in the slightest....and have been told I shall burn in you know what for it on more than one occasion ;)

J

emilythehopeless said...

i miss don & remy!!!! it's so nice to read your post about the rays & sox.. we could not agree more.

oh and did you mean because you're pregnant i won't want comments from you??? wrong! you got pregnant from a FET cycle.. and i'm about to start my FET cycle.. bring on the comments! please!!! :D

theclam said...

Hehehe, I like your list and I also totally hate the clothing with names of places on them - I'm like " you went to X or Y, so freaking what? "

xxx

Anonymous said...

I love this list. HILARIOUS!!! Made me smile big time. And made my morning. Thanks!

My 2 cents:
1. I know one TB fan who has been a fan since the beginning. I know several RS fans going down for games. We're that hard core. Or I should say "they", I'm not what you call a super fan.
2.3. Totally agree with you here. The tattoo in story - awesome!!
6. "Friends don't let friends go to Starbucks" - or so hubby tells me.
7. I hate a crowded gym after New Years. It's annoying. Sometimes I skip the gym here because it's so annoying.
10. Have to admit I'm guilty of this. I like lift tickets. But I'm getting better. Maybe it's because I only go skiing so many times a year that they're sentimental. Guess I should make a scrapbook...
**HUGS**
~Velma

Dawn's Recipes / The Baby Blog said...

Hahaha! Best list ever! Freakin' Tampa Bay...why'd they have to go and win?

Anonymous said...

Yeah, it does suck that Tampa Bay won...the cowbells are REALLY stupid and so damn annoying! And the announcers did SUCK!

I don't get NKOTB either.

SO FUNNY how the lady was scared of you! haha! I wonder what she would have thought if you had the girls with you!

Sassy said...

He he he he. #6 piss me off as well. If you're serving me, I don't want to deal with your arrogance or misplaced feelings of superiority.

Heather said...

Mrsspock stole all of my responses..... so, um, yeah. What she said.

Great list.

Mary said...

Well, I can't speak to the Rays/Sox debate, since DH is a fan of the former. I'm just happy we have a team worth watching now...the last game I went to (2 years ago) was barely worthy of the name baseball.

I recently went to Olive Garden and had this 17 year-old calling me "sweetie" the entire time. I wanted to punch her.

nancy said...

mo*reezy - ~someone~ had to make up that other 5% ~wink~. And those 9 games that sold out, I didn't say they were red sox GAMES, I said they were due to red sox fans just going to games. My god, had you looked around at any of the games an The "trop"? FILLED with red sox jerserys. If I didn't know what fenway looked like, I'd easily could have mistaken that field to be in boston. (even in boston we have an open aired stadium though. heh. closed stadium. no sense whatsoever. "hit this catwalk it's a double" "hit this catwalk it a homerun". hehehehehe)

nancy said...

Oh, one more thing ... "I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing or something to be mocked for a city to get behind its team who after a 10 year struggle". Yes, yes it is. How about be behind your city when you are NOT doing well? Look at boston before 2004. We have been behind our team at EVERY GAME when not winning for over 80 years! So when they (fans) only show up for a win, yeah, it's called the bandwagon.

(baseball is dear to my heart, so although I'm ~not~ upset here, I'll argue my stance until I die.) :) :) :)

HopingDangerously said...

mrsspock: '#4 Life is so much better on the heathen side of the fence.'

sounds kinda like us vs. them hoohah to me...just saying.

And Nancy--are you from boston? i've been reading for a while and know you travel there for work, but all the red sox talk is making me wonder if you're actually from there and living elsewhere now....just curious!

nancy said...

hopingdangerously ... i married into a huge family from massachusetts (cohasset to be exact) so over 10 years "in" the family has made me officially part of the red sox nation. We don't live there. I travel there a handful of times each year. I vacation there. And we plan to retire there. But I live in Colorado.

Kate said...

Here form ICLW. Don't worry - it will be just like the Marlins. Next year all of the best players will be bought out by the Yankees (barf) and they will be back to sucking and not selling any tickets.

sharonvw said...

LOL! Love the list and the snarky attitude!
(ICLW)

momofonefornow said...

Your list cracks me up. I am a religious scrapbooker but I take no offense. Seriously, who thought it was a good idea for New Kids on the Block to crawl out of their hole? I was a complete fan when I was 10 but now it is just plain creepy!

Cara said...

LOL! - that made me choke on my raisin granola (yeah - I'm eating cereal for lunch and yes - I read blogs while I eat..maybe not the best idea)

I'm really digging your adjective, "schnarky". It sounds way better than "cranky", the generic version we use about a hundered billion times a day in this house. I might try and get the kids to convert - if just for a good laugh as they try to say...schnarky!

xoxo

Morgan said...

Here's my 2 cents,
I'm not much of a sports fan so I can't and wont say anything there, plus I wouldn't dare debate about baseball with you unless I really wanted to get your engine reved lol! ;) "mo-reezy" didn't know what he was getting himself into (haha j/k)

About New Kids on the Block, I never got people obsessed with them anyway..what do they sing again?

On the other hand, I'm not religious but I do believe in God...but I don't go to church, I sin, and sometime do opposite of what the bible says but i dont think im going to hell for it.

My shirt says "New York" on it..LMAO..thanks sooo much nancy!! Now i can walk around with tons of confidence today, and hell i've never even been to NY! opps. ;)

Anyways, love the post! I don't mind when you get schnarky! hehe

Cara said...

Nancy -

LOL! You just made me choke on my raisin granola! (Yeah, I'm eating cereal for lunch and Yes, I read blogs while I eat. Maybe not the best idea)

I'm totally diggin' your adjective, "schnarky". It is way cooler than the generic version we use in this house about one hundered times a day, "cranky". Maybe I'll try to get my kids to convert if just for a good laugh as they try to say, "sch-nar-ky"! he-he

Hollie said...

You're too funny Nancy... LOL about the scrapbooking. I like it, but I'm not THAT into it. And I do believe in God. Just had to throw that in there. I may not agree with everything but I respect your opinion and enjoy reading.

mo*reezy said...

well, I don't think it's fair to compare the loyalty of fans of a 100 year old team to those of a 10 year old team. If the Rays had been formed in 1901 too, I could agree. Let's compare notes in 2098, when the Rays have had 100 years to develop a fan base and some more classic rivalries, like the Red Sox have.

Mermaid said...

I'm with you on Religion. I just don't get it, but there would be something so comforting and easy about believing in a religion. Despite my hubby's efforts, I just can't wrap my brain around it.

nancy said...

Hey! Yeah, maybe the Rays will turn out like the Royals who have been around since 1920 (Kansas City Monarchs to KC Athletics to KC Royals) and still don't have a fan base. But I betcha they would if they were ever to make it into the post season.

Actually, the Rays had a better chance of gaining a post season fan base over KC because the buffet places close before first pitch in Tampa Bay.

Tara said...

Ahh.... scrapbooking. I soooooo don't get it either.

Incidentally - I was in a grocery store and a woman walked around the corner with her little boy and when she saw me she gawked at my sleeve and then GRABBED her son and held him close to her until I passed by.

Fucked up.

Anonymous said...

Hi, I don't usually comment on your blog, but I'm an avid reader. I LOVE your frankness on everything. :D I couldn't resist posting about your list. I agree with pretty much all of it. And I have to admit that I am a guilty gasper. lol I'm so used to not having much money growing up, that it still shocks me a bit. hehe I'm getting better though. We didn't have much when I was growing up, so I was very sheltered from seeing these more expensive items, for fear that I might want them. Good choice there by my parents. lol Cause I would have. :D

I complete agree about fan devotion. I'm not a baseball fan, I'm in Canada and am a huge hockey fan. We have a juniors hockey team here that we have season tickets for. This is a rebuilding year, and people have abandoned them. It's just so wrong! If you are a fan, you are in for the highs and the lows.

And yeah..NKOTB...umm why the hell did they make a comeback? I'm with mrsspock...I liked them when I was 12. lol not at 32!! lmao

Tanya

mo*reezy said...

wow. okay. never mind that they play in st petersburg, but whatever. this girl ( yes Morgan, I am a woman...) is out of here.

nancy said...

I'm sure St Petersburg has all you can eat buffets for the retired too. :)

(i hope you seriously aren't pissed off! But if you are, my blog is definitely not the place for you. Take care!)

the mol said...

1. Being married to a man who was born and raised a Yankees fan, it's hard to cheer for Boston anyway. I just want to cheer for the little guy, since I'm a Pirates fan and they haven't been good since, what, 1992?

3. People have messed-up hobbies. I'm a barbershopper

4. I've been a moderately religious person all my life. My kid has cancer--I'm having trouble believing these days, but I'm still representing.

7. We have a home gym. Still hard to get the workouts in these days...

9. I loved Branson.

To A T said...

Love the list! I had to laugh at #8 because its my hubby that rolls his eyes at my bag fetish... sorry I can't help it! LOL

ak_sapphire said...

LMAO...i grew up in alaska, i feel ya with the lift tickets! and tampa's bandwagoners are just like resolutioners, they'll be gone by november.

and...I’ve chosen you to join in a blogger buddy recipe exchange! Check out my blog to find out more about it!

nancy said...

Oh Morgan, you gotta let me publish some of these comments you leave me. Join the schnarky club and don't worry about the fallout. heh! You made me crack my happy ass up.

Sarah R said...

I'm sad because I did leave a response earlier, but apparently it didn't go through (got one of those "dupicate" error messages, so I figured you'd received it).

Anyway...

I don't follow baseball so much, but am sort-of a Brewers fan. Yeah, they suck. I am a Packer fan, so I can say that those tickets are hard to come by--every home game is sold out, and season tickets are near-impossible to get (we'll see if that holds true since Brett left).

I had to giggle about your experience in the scrapbooking store. Seriously? LOL. I guess tattoos make you some sort-of criminal.

I'm not religious either. I was raised Catholic and never really got into church. I attended out of obligation. My 11 years of CCD classes really did nothing for me. I had good morals instilled in me by my mother. I feel that I am a good person, and nobody needs to "save" me. I am more of a scientist than anything and hubby and I both are free-thinkers. Thump me with a bible, but I think some of the fear that comes from relgion (you're all sinners) helps control the masses. If it works, so be it. Also, I have never understood how most religions are pro-life, yet war is okay. Thousands upon thousands have been killed in Iraq, yet GWB is up on a pedestal next to God because he is pro-choice. Talk about hypocrisy! /vent

the mol said...

Oh...and when NKOTB were popular, I only listened to classical music. That's how I rolled when I was a tween.

Agata said...

I love it! Hah hah!

1. Hey, I love the Rays. I am thrilled they won. It also helps that I hate the Red Sox. And the Yankees. I'm a Tigers and Rays fan (we used to go to Tampa all the time before we had our kid and went to games whenever we could). The Ballpark sucks but hopefully they'll build them a real one now that they're exciting to the city. I get annoyed with fair-weather fans too, but Tampa has a HUGE population of non-locals who move there - that impacts fan base for the Buccanneers too. And they won the SuperBowl!

2. I hate NKOTB. I didn't like them then and I don't like them now. When the girls in middle school were putting NKOTB stickers all over their Trapper Keepers, I was listening to "And Justice for all" and fantasizing about James Hetfield.

3. I cannot stand or understand the hype behind scrapbooking. I don't get it. If I wanted to cut and glue and stamp I would have stayed in the 3rd grade.

4. I am so not into religion. I don't need it, I don't want it, I don't believe in any of it. And I'm fine with that.

6. I hate Starbucks. I've been there a total of maybe 5 times in my life. I hate their pretentious names for everything. I just want a large coffee, not a venti "insert pretentious name here" drink for $5. Bring on Tim Horton's - I love that place.

Sara said...

I love you Nancy! I think we would make great friends... I have to especially agree with the whole material possession thing. I like expensive purses and I like jewelry. Nice jewelry. And I am so sick and tired of people judging me because of this.

And lift tickets - I want to say "Yep, you went skiing. No one else gives a shit." And then rip off their little lift tickets and shove them down their throats.

Crap, can you tell I am in a shitty mood? My apologies...

Kristin said...

ROFL Nancy...snarkiness is awesome. Don't agree about all of it but I like it!

ICLW

Jen said...

I'm completely with you on the NKOTB! Too funny.

Io said...

Oh Nancy, you've reminded me why I have missed blog reading lately. You are so the awesomeness.
Even if I would probably be on the gasp at purse number. I walked around showing off my Coach tote I got for $8 ALL day on Saturday. I'm pretty sure the manly firefighters wanted to gag me to shut me up.

Carrie said...

You're awesome. I think I may have a slight blog crush on you. Not in a creepy, stalkerish way, but more in a I-wish-I-was-as-blunt-and-snarky-as-her way.

JamieD said...

OMG - I love your list. New Kids on the Block? I didn't get them 15 years ago.

Because I am honest (and because we will probably never meet face to face!) I will admit I leave my lift ticket on my coat for an excessive amount of time. And you nailed it right on the head - just because I am so freaking excited to tell the world I went skiing. Of course my ski coat only gets worn when I am skiing, so I guess only people raiding my coat closet know. All right. I'll take it off right now.

Toni said...

Oh man nancy I would annoy the hell out of you then LOL. I have loved tampa bay since well gosh since forever ago, i love to scrapbook, i am a religious person and I just got back from my weekend in TX seeing NKOTB and i screamed more now than when I was 12 LOL. But oh how I love all those things.

Kaci said...

OMG I'm cracking up. You remember I posted we went to the Detroit/Tampa Bay game when my FIL visited, because he's a Tampa Bay fan. And he's one of the other 5% - he actually dragged us to games down there years ago!

I am jealous of the good scrapbookers - I'd love to have nice albums full of pictures & cutesy writing about my kids and trips, but I don't have it in me. And I don't understand the obsession.

Religion - I do it and have never been offended by other people not doing it.

And ok, you totally got me on 10 - I actually am just too lazy to take the lift tickets off. So I layer them - every time I go skiing I stick the new ticket on top of the old one. I can always know when the last time I went was. I'm a loser.

Christina said...

I totally agree with #1 because I live only 30 minutes from the Rays stadium. I'm so out of the baseball loop that not only did I not know they were going to the world series till today but last week at work we had "Rays Day" and I had no clue who the Rays even were. People showed up to work in their Rays jeresys and tee shirts like they had always supported the team when they've never been to a game.

Jennifer said...

LOL!

My husband "hates" baseball (at least for the 8 years I've known him), but not he's rooting for the Rays...who are not doing good right now. Now he says, "I just don't want to watch 100's of games, but I don't mind watching playoffs and The world series."

Someone just stole a base, so everyone can get a Free Taco tomorrow from Taco Bell...I think I'll pass. :)

Scrapbooking...I've actually been playing with digital scrapbooking. It is useful for somethings. I've made Picture collages and b-day invitations with things I've learned from it.