Co sleeping and baby suffocation.

I was on the 2nd tri board today and we had a discussion about sleeping arrangements. Many women said they'd keep the baby in their room, at least at the beginning, because of breastfeeding. So I asked why having the baby in the room made it easier, since I breastfed both my babies for an entire year and they ~never~ spent the night in my room.

Before I get into this, I am NOT making this into some co-sleeping debate. If you want to co-sleep or you have co-slept, I think that decision is totally a personal one. I wouldn't do it, but I would never ever tell anyone else they shouldn't. I will explain my own reasons for my choice, but this is not a debate of the subject.

First of all, I am a big proponent of personal space. I am Nancy and a mother. To keep these two separate, I need to have my personal space. I love being a mother, but being a mother doesn't drown out my own identity. Therefore, my bedroom is my bedroom. Kids can come in if I give the okay, but that's it. This also applies to my newborns. No bassinet in my room. No co-sleeper in my room. They have a room and that's where they go from the very first day at home. Plus, babies make noises when they sleep. If I had one of my babies in the room with me, I'd never get the few moments of sleep I'm even allowed!

Secondly, I'm scared to death of accidentally killing my own child. I watched an "Ask Dr Baden: Autopsy" show on HBO once. There was a woman who had 2 previous children, one whom died suddenly of SIDS. Then, she had twins who tragically both died on the same night. Being it the same night, all kinds of allegations were brought up against her, which she was finally cleared of. SIDS was given as the reason of death.

This woman was broken up over the deaths, as any woman would be. She went to Dr Baden for answers. The twins were exhumed and a full work up was performed. Dr Baden spent months on the case and finally called her back with his results.

He determined the twins died from suffocation from her rolling up on them while sleeping while nursing. He explained that babies, especially newborns, don't struggle or cry when this happens, instead, they just go to sleep forever. This is why she never noticed it happening. Also, you don't even have to roll on top of them to suffocate them. Just rolling up too close can cut off enough oxygen supply. Also, this is obviously a freak, but common occurrence. Just because you can successfully sleep-nurse 7 other children, doesn't mean it won't happen to the 8th child.

This is why cribs were even invented in the first place! A little bit of trivia for you. Cribs were created to help with this very issue. Crazy. And here the "new mom" comes, thinking it's best for bonding.

I think if you are going to co-sleep, great. Totally your choice. But I would hope that you take precautions to prevent this accident from happening. Have a co-sleeper that attaches to your bed. Or, if the baby is in the same bed as you, have one of those dividers that won't let you roll close enough for this to happen. Then, when you wake to nurse, you should sit up ~or~ get up and sit in a chair. Don't lay with the baby right next to you. I nursed in a chair and while I fell asleep accidentally sometimes doing this, I had a blanket under my arms, so if I did fall asleep, I wouldn't do something stupid like drop the baby.

Again. This is not against co-sleeping. I'm only stating the dangers of sleep-nursing. I simply don't know how I could live with myself if I accidentally killed my baby. I read 22 babies die each year, in Minessota alone, from a parent accidentally suffocating their baby while sharing a bed. If you use that as a state average, that would account for 1,100 deaths per year nationwide.

"The parents either partially roll over on top of the baby or put just their an arm on top of the baby's chest and end up killing the baby," said Thomas who is a forensic pathologist. "In 2006, 95 percent of the 60 plus infant deaths are related to unsafe sleep environments." was found in the article "Parents Warned Not To Share Beds With Infants" by Caroline Lowe, July 13, 2007. That's scary!

When I looked at pro co-sleeping sites, I saw a quote from James J. McKenna, Ph.D. stating: "To claim that there is NO chance of an adult overlaying a baby would be irresponsible, but so would it be irresponsible to claim that an infant could never be killed while traveling in an automobile." But to me, getting killed in a car accident and having a parent roll over on a baby are two totally different ballgames. Hell, they are two totally different sports!

So when making your decision, make an informed decision. Your baby's life depends on it.