Saturday, August 9, 2008

Maybe I'm just a skeptic.

There are a lot of pregnancy related things I simply don't believe in.

Cravings is one of them. Well, silly cravings. I do think the body will crave something you ~need~, like if your baby is depleting your calcium supply, you may crave dairy. But when I hear about someone saying they crave captain crunch? Nah. I think captain crunch just sounded good and tasted good and since a pregnancy was involved, the idea of "craving" came in mind and whammo! "I crave captain crunch!". Really, I think it's all a bunch of boohooey.

Before I ever became pregnant, I believed everything I saw in the movies and television. I envisioned my husband running out to the grocery store at 2am to get me some ridiculous concoction of snacks. I believed you really couldn't lift anything. I believed it all. And then it happened to me; pregnancy that is. Instead of just conforming and acting as I thought I should, I let my body tell me the truth.

Sure, I was extra hungry at times and certain things sounded good. But having my husband go get something for me in the middle of the night? Bah. I continued to work out, even running a 10k quite pregnant. I didn't have my husband do all my lifting. I had him to the heavy lifting, but it was rare when I couldn't do it on my own. I didn't act like a fragile flower.

Maybe I should have. I mean, I didn't "milk it" like I see some other women do. I had a friend who would go grocery shopping and she'd load up her car, drive home and then waddle into the house and lay down and tell her husband to unload and put away because she couldn't do it simply because she was pregnant. Um, who the hell loaded up the cart and the car? Yeah. She did. I just never wanted to be that type of pregnant girl. I would lay off when I had to, but it just wasn't really that necessary to do anything different.

My strong attitude does end up screwing me every now and again. Since my husband knows "the truth" about pregnancy (ie: a normal pregnancy. A bed rest / high risk pregnancy is totally different), I'm not going to be able to get waited on hand and foot. My husband is awesome with me though, as he would probably do anything I ever asked, but it's not something I get to just expect. Although, I did get yelled at when he came home to find his 8+ month pregnant wife shoveling snow. But it wasn't because he was worried about me. His words were something like "What are the neighbors going to think about me if they see you shoveling?".

What got me thinking about all of this was the nesting instinct. Now, this is something I do believe in, but only in late pregnancy. When the baby is about to come, a mother tends to get everything clean and perfect in response to her body's pending delivery. But simply getting in a cleaning fit anytime before that? No, it's simply called cleaning. I'm sure everyone has gotten into a cleaning jag one time or another, right? So do they still call it nesting if you aren't pregnant? Nope. It's just one of those things.

I was in my own cleaning mood last night and today. Along with cleaning, I was also organizing drawers and closets. Things like that. Our friend stopped by and declared I was nesting. Nope, sorry. Just cleaning.

I don't know why these things bug me. Maybe it's because I watched myself go through pseudo-symptoms with every 2ww. I know how powerful the brain is and I know how we as humans like to make associations. If I eat something "weird" when I'm not pregnant, I'm told it's gross. But if I eat the same thing when pregnant, suddenly it's a cute "craving". ~shrug~.

Like I said in the title. Maybe I'm just a skeptic.

note about the 16w pic on the sidebar... what the hell is wrong with my stomach? It looks all weird. Not round, but creased looking. I'm going to take another picture later tonight when the second half comes home. I'll leave that one up until I get a better one. But what if my belly really looks all distorted like that? Ick!

updated. I had another picture taken and it looks pretty much the same as the one I didn't like. I'm definitely carrying different this time so far, but "carrying" isn't the right word, as the baby is only something like 4 1/2 inches long right now.


Anonymous said...

You sound like me. I didn't change my life much when I was pregnant other than the fact that I ate too much.

Sara said...

I had no cravings while pregnant - I just couldn't stomach eating a lot of things during my 1st tri, so I ate a lot of McDonalds. Healthy, huh?

AS for the belly pic, just blame it on the fact that you are having a boy! He is already stressing you out! By the way - I think the pic is cute!

Mommyof2boys said...

I hear ya.I don't really believe in all those weird 3am cravings either.I may have wanted
something to eat but never really craved anything cream and sardines.
Either way,my husband is not the type that would run out for food at 3am...pregnant or not LOL

Cate said...

Glad I'm not the only one who got yelled at for shoveling lol.

I think maybe he may have been sitting funny for your belly to look like that, I have one where you could tell where Lex was pushing it was all distorted looking.

Anonymous said...

OMG!!!! It is like you can read my mind!!! My sister is pregnant right now and my lord, it is insane, she can't work, she can't walk, she has to sleep all the time, she can't travel....everyone has to treat her with kid gloves...she blames everything on the pregnancy and the hormones...When I get pregnant, I will not have the option to just stay home and lay around because everything is just too tough...I am a teacher, I will have to teach and be motivating and effective no matter how I feel....grrrrr....I just get so annoyed with how "fragile" she thinks she is right now!!! She had trouble getting pregnant and now that she is, she is STILL not happy and creating issues she is dealing with...I just wish she would realize how blessed she is and "man up" a little bit! My lord, being pregnant is not a death sentence!

Sorry for venting, But I wish she would read your blog and get some inspiration!!

MrsSpock said...

I won't say i had cravings. A craving is something you "must" have, right? I will say that I hate pineeapple (your posts about eating all those pineapple cores made me want to retch), but for some reason I had a taste for it while pregnant. I still didn't love it, but it seemed less revolting. I remember my husband walking in one day and looking shocked because I was chowing down on the dreaded fruit. I ate it every day. And now I've lost the taste for it again- I can't stand to eat it. I figure I just really really needed vitamin C.

Katherine said...

My "cravings" are simply things that I always want but usually deny myself in the name of keeping my figure; when I'm pregnant, I just tend to be a little more lenient on myself. I mean, I'm gonna get fat no matter what, right? So why not enjoy myself a little bit? I can be honest about that.

And I think your belly looks fab compared to mine this time. Mine is poking way out there, but instead of being rounded, it's got a big flat spot right across my belly button area. Fugly. I'm hoping it pops out soon. Right now I look deformed.

Sarah R said...

Honestly, I don't buy into the cravings thing either. I didn't crave anything different when I was pregnant vs. not pregnant. There were certain things I didn't want to eat (cottage cheese, once a fave, literally made me feel like I was going to puke whenever I thought of it. I had a full tub I had just purchased before the morning sickness kicked in. I had to give it away to someone at work because I couldn't even look at it in my fridge!). I digress though.

As far as using pregnancy as an excuse to get treated like a queen...I can totally understand if someone is on bed rest. However (and maybe it's just my active self), I power-walked 3-4 miles 3-4 days a week up until my delivery. I went FAST. I actually got annoyed with someone at work who picked up papers off my floor for me (people slide things under my office door and every morning I retrieve them all). I can still bend over just fine, thank you! I didn't like being treated differently. I wasn't crippled, I just had a little more of a belly than I was used to.

I should add that I had zero swelling and even my doctor was impressed at my 38 week appointment when he asked me about swelling and then checked me to see I had none!

To add to your discussion about pre-conceived ideas about pregnancy--yeah. I totally thought that the pickles and ice cream thing was a standard and that it would happen to me too. Nope! Thank goodness! EW. Also, that my water would just break in public. Yes, this does happen to people, but not to everyone. My doctor ended up breaking mine. Oh, and a co-worker told me that after having a baby I wouldn't be able to control my bladder and I would pee my pants at random times? LMFAO. No. That didn't happen to me. I also thought I would get fat all over and I'd be this big, disgusting oompa loompa. LOL, I gained 28-30 lbs. and it was all in my belly. I thought I'd be puking all the time (it happened to my mom with each of her 5 pregnancies). Thank goodness I only had 3 weeks of lack of appetite in the evenings. I only threw up twice. GEESH, the things I worried about. I love how everyone tends to give you "advice" while pregnant. They always say, "You just wait until this [insert random affliction] happens..." Um yeah. Everyone is different!

Good lord, I didn't mean for this to get long. Sorry, Nancy! :)

~Joe said...

I don't remember how far along I was but I was severely anemic and didn't know it yet, the ex and I went to IHOP,and I just had to have a steak, and I don't even care for steak, I ate it (and it was huge) in about 10 minutes, the best stinkin steak I ever had, I'm sure because my body craved the iron, I don't believe in craving either actually i use to complain about it to my non preg friends about how sick I was about hearing a 6 week pregnant lady saying she ate a whole tub of cookie dough cause she was so hungry, that just irked me to no end, I can definitely vouch for food aversions though, ice cream tasted like spoiled milk to me a week before my missed period, and I couldn't stomach any kind of sweets whatsoever (which drove me crazy because I LOVE sweets) I would try to force myself to eat candy,because I'd miss it, and I'd end up spitting it out because it tasted so bad to me. We had a drawer full of wasted candy by the time I delivered haha.

thats how my belly looked towards the end, not saying your big I mean the shape, mine just stayed that way

Jewels said...

Your belly looks like that because your carrying a boy ;)
(Another skeptic thing I always heard about - giggle)

I remember people asking me "Any cravings yet" and I would reply, "do you get cravings" they'd think, "Yeah" I'd say, "Yeah, me too, but not cuz I'm ku, but because I'm hungry"

I did crave Crayons with my son, That was very real and bazaar, Can't remember what I did about that one, I just remember I couldn’t even concentrate on work because the craving was so strong,
One thing I did with my son that I regretted was use my pregnancy as an excuse to eat what ever I wanted and say it was a pregnancy craving, Not fun gaining 60lb. Even not funner trying to lose it.

If anything with this last one, I despised food more than craved anything.

I agree on the fragile part although I dont fall in the norm catagory, I believe I'm high risk, more now than ever. Sucks.

nancy said...

Jewels - my doctor told me about a woman who came to him and asked him what to do about her overwhelming craving of wanting to eat laundry detergent. His answer? "Don't eat it.". heh. But yeah, I've heard about those really strange cravings and I know they are real. I wonder what it really is about. Maybe your body does, in fact, need something, but the wires get crossed and your brain figures that out to be "crayons" (or whatever strange thing it is). Hrm. Now I'm curious into finding the answer.

60 pounds, eh? I gained 50 lbs each time with both girls. 50 lbs right on the nose. But this time, I started 11 pounds UP due to the freaking IVF and FET cycles (I'm normally 145 lbs and I was 156. Now I'm 158. Ugh.) So I wonder if those 11 pre-pounds are going to help me even out or if I'll still gain 50 lbs on TOP of that.

Sugar and Ice said...

I have to agree with you about the cravings. I have a pregnant friend on Fac.ebook and a few days ago her status was "is craving cheesecake". I just rolled my eyes and smiled...I could say that I'm craving cheesecake on any given day, pregnant or not. It's just silly.

Cass said...

I just wanted to comment about your odd shaped tummy. I am also expecting my third, I had 2 boys before this and my tummy was very cute and round like your's with your girls. Now I am expecting a girl and my stomach is not round, well it is round but there is a flat spot in the front where my belly button is. I asked my doctor what it was and she gave me the all pregnancies are different speech, but it's weird. I started off the same weight I was when I had my second son so it's not from a bulgy belly. I thought it would pop out the bigger I got, because I don't really show until mid 20 weeks, but here I sit at 32 weeks and it looks round from the side but I turn to the front and there's that flat spot! The only thing I can think of is that it could be my placneta, that is where it is and that is where is has been since I started showing so......maybe????

~Joe said...

Its called pica Nancy, I have it, its craving of non food items and yes its caused by a deficiency in your body, its most common in pregnant women. I have sickle cell so I'm anemic, I craved corn starch, I ate it to, by the box full, until I read about the danger and the weight gain and why I craved it, I started taking multivitamins everyday as well as iron supps and b12, it was tough because I had gotten use to it so I had to not only break my craving but my habit of eating it. I've been cornstarch free since march :), I'm a member of an internet support group for it and peoples pica ranges from dirt clay to comet...(yes we have a comet eater), you know the weird thing is I didn't crave corn starch at all while pregnant. I couldn't explain to you why I wanted corn starch I just did, it was a strong strong urge, definite craving.

jenn said...

I can't really say much yet on 'cravings', even though logically I totally agree with you. I have had food that mid bite I just can't stand to eat.
The only thing I will admit to is I now refuse to move our couches & heavy coffee table up from the basement now that our living room is finally done. But to be honest it's not really because of pregnancy. (I am really tired all the time- especially in the evenings) But I swore to the hub when we moved it down that he would need to find a friend to help move them up since it was such a headache for the two of us. Other than that though- nothing at all has changed in what I do. At work we have these 20 pound rolls of paper that periodically need loading into a plotter- I still do it. I can remember my girlfriend milking it at 9-10 weeks & not doing it. I haven't really thought twice about it.
I'm an interior designer so I am pretty sure I could constantly be called 'nesting', since there is ~always~ something I want to improve/do around the house!
And the belly is still cute, if it is a little creased! That boy is trouble already ;o)

nancy said...

~Joe (you need to change your display name!) - Thanks for the info! I knew it had to be something that the medical field has already defined.

Jenn - Oh, I agree not to do things you shouldn't do like lift couches and carry them upstairs! I'm not proposing I put my baby boy in danger because I don't want to be a fragile flower, but carrying in a bag of groceries? lol. That girl was hilarious.

Krista said...

Remember my indented belly shots,week after week after week?

While I was not the frgaile flower or the one experiencing every pregnancy symptom in the book while pg. I swear I craved captain crunch. (Did someone else recently, or was that a stab at me ;) ?) Now I'm not saying it was a pregnancy craving, necessarily, but it was an odd thing for me to want. I ate like two boxes in two weeks time and have not had it since, nor had I eaten any since college before then.

nancy said...

OMG Krista! I picked "captain crunch" as an example so I wouldn't offend ANYONE! I'm so sorry that was your craving! Totally coincidence!

Kaci said...

I don't like the whole fragile pregnant chick thing either. The thing that drove me nuts was strangers at the airport thinking I couldn't manage my laptop & purse through security and getting on & off the plane. Geeze - I hauled it all over the place for years. And people telling me I shouldn't life Matthew when I was pregnant with if!

I kinda believe in cravings though, because I wanted orange juice & olives (NOT at the same time) when Matthew was on the way. I figured it was missing something in my diet, but I wanted those specific things. Frequently. Not like now when I occasionally want chocolate :) It was totally different.

Anonymous said...

Having not been pregnant myself I can't say whether I agree with you or not... What I can say is that my sister had pretty much the same mindset as you when pregnant and both she and my neice are healthy and "normal"...

Love the belly pic!! :)

Hollie said...

Katherine - I laughed when I read your comment "fugly"! I'm sure you look fabulous.

Nancy - I think you look great. I may have to respectfully disagree with a few of your ideas. I think cravings are real for me. When something pops into my mind, I have to have it. I don't have to have it right then, but I will keep thinking about it all day and the next day until I get it. It's usually nachos or mac and cheese or pizza or fried fish. Nothing too crazy. And my aversions are super real... I can't hardly eat meat besides fish and maybe ground beef sprinkled in on a dish.

I try not to be the fragile flower, but I guess I am. Maybe it's because I had a hard time with ivf, and I felt horrible and was not active at all, then morning sickness, and now just fatigue. I have increased my activity some, but I have problems with high blood pressure and high heartrate. I try to keep my HR under 140, and sometimes it gets there just resting. So I guess I'm a little high risk. I do go to the grocery store, but I need my husband to help carry things in the house. I'm pooped when I come in. It's super hot in TX too. I'm not offended by your post, but I just thought I would argue for us fragile flowers out there!

~Carrie said...

People always ask me about cravings and I just say, "yeah - food!" :) I do seem hungrier, but that could also be because I'm allowing myself to be a little more leniant in what I eat (not going crazy though) I figure I'm saving a lot of calories by not drinking beer/wine, so hey, if that bagel looks good....

I'm with you on the 'I'm pregnant so I can't do *anything*' mindset. My SIL was doing step aerobics at 39 weeks! I still go to the gym - just don't do weight exercises where I lay on my back. DH was a little upset when I movved a chair up from the basement last week ;) (but it wasn't heavy)

Liz said...

I'm with you on this. I get the same kind of cravings as described when I'm not pregnant, so I don't think anything of them. (With my first, I spent a whole week wanting a meatball sub because I saw a sign for one. The same thing happened again when she was 6 months old, so I think I just really wanted a sub. Twice.)

I get annoyed with people having every symptom imaginable all the time.

Jenera said...

I don't think i've had 'cravings' per se but I will say that my taste buds have really changed. There are things now I'll eat that taste terrible when just a few months ago, I loved them. And the other way is true also-things I didn't really care I'll eat now. About the only thing i crave in the traditional sense is orange juice and fruit.

And the belly pic-I'm carrying terribly low and so I have a very weird belly shape going on that makes me just look fatter, not preggo.

Motel Manager said...

I don't actually believe in nesting at any point in pregnancy. I think it's just classic procrastination and running out of time -- you have a hard deadline; you have to get shit done. I didn't feel sentimental or instinctive about it at all.

Liz said...

P.S. After reading this yesterday, I had Captain Crunch this morning. Once I get an idea in my head, I just don't want to let go if it!

In Search of Morning Sickness said...

I read your blog occasionally but don't think I've ever commented before. But this topic I couldn't resist!

I wish I had authored this. I feel SO much the same way. I think women love *excuses* to blame on pregnancy. Cravings, cleanings, moods, not doing certain things. It drives me crazy. I think you're onto something when you relate this to the TWW and how your mind can "trick" you into using those to our own (perceived) end. I despised talking about TWW symptoms after over 26 months of failed cycles and really sometimes almost believing them to mean something.

I'd rather pregnant talk about *solid* things. Maybe that's why I love IF bloggers, in general they're so down to earth. No gushy-made-up-stuff that makes me want to puke.

That said, my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage I totally did the "I can do everything I want" including climbing into 30-foot tree stands to hunt, drawing my 40lb bow, riding a few rides at the state fair, drinking my 1-cup caffinate coffee/day, and even more I forgot. Sometimes I wonder if I caused the miscarriage. So in that sense, I acted a wimp my first trimester to be SUPER sure. But that's b/c of history.

Anyway, nice to hear a good, clear thinker like you out there!!!