Mind numbing Thursday.

It's Thursday today, but I think I may make it my Friday. Tomorrow is my birthday and I think it should be a law that you should get your birthday off from work, dontcha think?

Other than that, I have mind numbing work to complete today. I'm taking a quick break to check in because I don't want that last post to be my "newest" post, since I really don't want to give it that much credit. Yes, it happened. Yes, it sucked. But it certainly doesn't have any power over me now.

Now here is the part where I'm going to be a little non descript to mention something that happened yesterday. I wrote a post 4 months ago about a situation that really, truly bothered me. It was about something that was in the public eye and it was about someone I really didn't know.

Well, as you know, when someone puts something out there in public, and that something is quite, well, disturbing, not everyone is going to be happy with it. That's just the way life is - you put things out and you will be prone to judgements. I didn't contact the person who I was talking about, as I really was simply reacting to what I saw unfold in public. The main "thing" was not what was happening in the "now", but the choices that got that person there in the first place. It's something I feel VERY strongly about and being my blog, I pretty much have every right to talk about it.

From some other events, this person ended up 'knowing' me and went and read months and months of my blog, finally coming upon my discussion. What I feel bad about is not over my opinion on the situation, as I still feel exactly the same way about it, but I do wish she didn't have to read it in the angry context I wrote it in. I was just off of a failed IVF and an about to be cancelled FET, so my emotions were high. I wrote it in a way where I chose some of the wrong words to describe it and I do apologize for that now. But I will not apologize for writing it in the first place. It was and still is my opinion, an opinion that I am allowed to have.

I could see if I took something in confidence and wrote about it in this public blog. But I didn't. I talked about the choices that were made at the time, landing this person in quite a tough situation. A situation, that I may add, I have always honestly felt bad about. I think people are assuming I don't wish this person well or that because I didn't agree with the decision that got this person there, that I don't care for the welfare of her "now". But of course I do. I wish this person nothing but good things. Just because I feel it was this person's own "fault" for getting into this position, doesn't mean I want this person to fail. That's absurd! This person needs amazing strength to continue on and I hope this person succeeds. I don't mind this person is "around" at all, nor would I want anyone to change their opinion to mine. I don't hate this person, I don't think this person should lose support. I simply feel strongly about some decisions that were made months and months ago. That was it. My feelings on the subject don't follow this person around after that first decision. What had to happen, well, had to happen.

Let me try to put it this way. Let's say a person decided to rob a bank and now they are in prison. You can be very upset with their decision to rob a bank, right? But that doesn't mean you hope they are assaulted everyday in prison. In fact, you can hope nothing but the best for them and that they learned from their bad decision so they won't make it again. And maybe others will see this person landed in prison and they won't make the same mistake. There's nothing different between how I feel and this example.

What I would hope to see is that others will understand it's okay for someone to have an opinion about a situation, regardless of who the person is. You can like a person who is in prison and still not agree with what got them there in the first place. I have a friend who I adore who just got out of jail a few years ago. I love him to death but I don't agree with the crime he committed. And see how I can still talk about how I definitely don't agree with the crime, but still like the person? I just feel people are missing this point.

But, alas, I can't do anything about the judgements people make about me. The same way they can't do anything about the judgements I make on their public actions. So what can you really do? When you put yourself out there in the public eye, people make assumptions and judgements about you. If I never wanted to be judged, I wouldn't talk about all the details of my life. Hell, there ARE things I don't care for the public to discuss about me because I just couldn't see a negative thought about it. So guess what? I don't discuss those things!

All I'm saying is it's human nature to judge. Why do you think America is so fascinated with the "famous"? We judge Britney's ability to mother. We judge who's got the "best bikini body." And that's just dumb shit. Write an article about being pro-life or pro-choice and see how many people judge your stance. Tell the world you just aborted a baby and see how many people will have an opinion. Write a book about how you breastfeed and see how many people will judge your decision. Money. Politics. Religion. My goodness, look how many millions of lives have been lost over religion!

It's all about judgements. Opinions. The more "sensitive" the subject, the more judgements are going to come in for or against you. I had a strong opinion about one of the more sensitive subjects and I wrote about it. And believe me, this ~exact~ topic has been discussed more than once, I've seen it in multiple places. I'm just one of the people who also was deeply disturbed by something I saw in public. Are we not supposed to have opinions? Are we not allowed to discuss things just because there is a human being involved in it? No. We live in a wonderful free country and it's one of our most beloved rights. Could you imagine how terrible it would be if we all had to keep our opinions to ourselves? At least I didn't make an already bad situation worse by giving my opinion where I knew it would be read by someone already in a lot of emotional pain. I kept it to where I thought it would be safe. It's simply unfortunate it had to be uncovered in the manner it was, months and months after the fact.