I'm getting anxious for the kicks. I'm 16 1/2 weeks and due time to start feeling this little boy. I do feel random "what the hell was that?" feelings - little flutters, little movements. But it never happens two times in a row, so I'm never ever paying attention. And because of that, I can never conclude it's actually him.
The funny thing about early movements is most of the time, it's digestion. The uterus moves all the intestines up, pretty much squishing against them. So most of the time I think I feel a movement roll across my lower tummy and a few moments later I pass gas or have to go to the bathroom. Heh. "I just felt the baby!" turns out to be my lunch.
I know it's still on the early side though. With Ella, I didn't feel the kicks until 19 weeks. With Allison though, I felt her early. I was definitely feeling kicks by 16 weeks. ~Grumble~. Of course, I know I'm on the lucky train to lotteryland for even getting the chance to await the eventual kicks, but now that I've been on the train for 16 weeks, I find myself wanting a better seat. Funny how the bitching of an past IFer turns into whining about not feeling kicks soon enough, eh? Any IFers out there still awaiting their first BFP, go ahead and roll your eyes and call me a bitch. It's totally cool with me for you to do that!
Hrm, what else?
How do I approach this one? I'll just blurt it out. I am uneasy about reading blogs that delve into the personal nature of someone's brain. Like when a pregnant blogger writes emotional letters to her unborn baby. It feels to me that I shouldn't be reading such a personal thing, so I end up shying away from the blog all together. Or if anyone gets too religious in their blog, I quickly click away. I honestly don't know why I do it. But if I see a bible passage quoted in a blog? Yeah, it's like I have no idea how to relate, so off I go.
Does anyone else have any blogging aversions?
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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- Ahhhh. There's nothing better
- Why do I have to work?
- Second question for any IFer (or loss)
- A question for any IFer ...
- A bit more on the last topic.
- What a bitch.
- oh yeah...
- The Good, the Bad and the Cute.
- Tomorrow is a big day.
- I get way too distracted.
- Today is Friday. Crap.
- "Have you ever watched yourself ..."
- Weight.
- Controversy is stewing ...
- A Terrible Loss.
- I'll give you $5
- Survival Rate by Gesational Age.
- Happy Birthday Goose.
- It's cold.
- Thank you!
- Whoa.
- Mind numbing Thursday.
- Rape isn't anything to be ashamed of.
- A note to the previous post...
- Co sleeping and baby suffocation.
- Okay, I'll do a meme.
- Please kick your mommy.
- What's with all these rules?
- I'm a little bit offended ...
- quick question ...
- Maybe I'm just a skeptic.
- Well aren't you girls just the best?
- A whole bunch of randomness.
- Love is watching someone die.
- I'm sinking.
- Welcome home! (updated w/ picture link)
- It's hot.
- I was all locked up!
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17 comments:
You've actually mentioned this before...but I hate the "Word Verification" thing. Maybe those who have it don't notice the handicap icon next to it! But I HATE HATE HATE doing them..and half the time i mess up on one little letter and have to do it over..it's just aggravating!
This is why I heart you. You totally understand the kneejerk reaction to calling anyone who's pregnant IFer or not a bitch. BTW, I don't think you're a bitch. It seems that you've gone through hell and back, so somehow that makes it OK to complain in my book.
I am religious but find that I don’t like reading bible passages and what not on bloggs. The boggs I read supposed to be about ttc, pg, family life, and I know for religious people God is apart of those things (he is for me) but I guess I’m a hypocrite or something and if I want to read a bible passage I’ll pull out my copy, or look for bloggs with a religious theme.
Ahem.... I don't mind someone sneezing twice in a row.. it's more than that.. I get it from my mom, she's a tad psycho... I still *heart* her!
:)
I am the same way about religious blogs, It turns me off immediately, I try to look past it, but it's hard. I don't like preachy... however, since I'm of alternate beliefs I don't put that up on my blog. I try to keep it out for the most part, to avoid judgment.
I also hate someone that only does reviews. Yes, I do reviews, but I also do my best to put 1 or 2 personal blogs in between. Reviews tend to be a bit dull! If it's a review site, great (I have a video game review site I visit daily), but if it's a personal blog, integrate them!
I shy away from really religious toned blogs. I'm a Pagan and it tends to turn me off. I only mention my spirituality once in a blue moon on my blog. A REALLY blue moon. Not because I shy away from its controversy, but because, well, it's not in the forefront of my thoughts. Also, if a blogger's story includes the fresh loss of a child, I tend to stay away more for the fear that they will click over and get a punch in the stomach when they read my blog with my relatively easy IF journey and posts about my son.
Sometimes I get turned off my overly religious or political inclusions in blogs.
Oh, and as my OB assured me today, there is huge variation in when the kicks are felt.
Bitch, (and I mean that in the most loving way) I hope you get to feel something other than a fart soon!
I hear you on the religious blog thing. I generally just can't relate. I don't get the things happen for a reason that God won't tell you bullshit, because fuck that. I don't want a god who pulls shit like this.
"One of those" (from my blog). You are so cute. I can't wait until you have your baby either! It'll be so exciting!
Do you think he will look more like Ella or more like Allie. Don't you wonder? I'm sure you do. :)
As far as the kicking goes, I didn't feel it until around 18 weeks, but it was just little squirmies at first. Then the kid wouldn't sit still. I still remember saying, "OMG, this kid is going to be hyper" because he moved way more than he was still. And he is energetic. I'll say that.
As far as blog aversions, the only thing that is weird to me is if I don't really know the person and I debate whether or not I should leave a comment. Will they think I'm a crazy stalker?
Sometimes I feel like I don't blog enough. I'm jealous of people who put new entries up every day. It makes me feel lazy.
I hope you get some serious one-two kicks soon!
(Oh- & oddly enough I decided last night was ~enough~ with the sleeping photos & actually heard the click then blew the hell up all over his ass! I think photos my be done for a little while... 4 shts of me passed out will suffice.)
Dark background, white text. Sears my brain and I can't read it. When I click away, I still see the words on the screen for a few seconds. I can't count the number of blogs that I would have loved to read, but simply can't for that one simple reason.
I'm also with you on the "religious" blogs. I have a hard time with reading scripture passages, or people who constantly "cling to faith" for lack of a better way to put it (I just know this is all part of God's plan, etc). I think it's because I'm too jaded - yeah, we've all been there I think, but puh-lease...this is your place to spit out how you really feel, not sugar coat it in case God reads it.
Wow...that turned ranty. Sorry!
I don't have anything I really shy away from. Of course, I prefer reading the blogs of not-pregnant-IFers because that is what I am. I am just a tiny bit bitchy that way.
But I didn't roll my eyes at you and shout "BITCH!" When I am pregnant (I am in an optimistic mood today) I will be in pins and needles waiting for the movement. I think that is when it would all feel real.
I am totally turned off by religion on blogs, particularly religious explanations for infertility, ie. god is "testing" my marriage or god has another plan for me or god doesn't think I'm ready. So what if I don't believe in your god, and I'm infertile. Is your god punishing me?
Word Verification drives me batty....
Religion...well it's your own personal choice, and I choose to not read through your rants on it...(not you Nancy the WWJD bloggers), I am totally cool with "thanks god this happened" or "I prayed all week about this", but when you begin to quote passages...click!
Political blogs...can turn me off, depending on my mood and how angry I am at the state of our country at the moment.
People keep asking me if I'm feeling movement yet and I've gotten so frustrated by now that I generally just want to scream "I DON'T KNOW!!!!" I feel all sorts of twitches and tightenings, but they could just as easily be tendons and muscle stretching (or digestive stuff given that my stomach is probably right under my ribs now). Plus, most of the time it is in my upper abdomen and I keep thinking if it were the babies it would be lower.
I tend to have the same reaction to very religious blogs. I can overlook a post here or there that has a religious tone to it, but if it becomes constant, I just start to feel like I have nothing in common with that person.
I actually like reading the letters to the unborn child, but they usually make me cry.
one more blog that I tend to steer clear of....sports.
I never quit actually reading, but I just can't comment when blogs go certain places. I may have comments, but I don't want to seem like an ass, so I just save the post for a couple of weeks, then un-save it without ever commenting. But mostly it's just when people discuss topics that I have strong feelings about, but no experience.
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