Thursday, February 12, 2009

(Updated) "Have you thought about sterilization?"

When I saw the NP yesterday, that's the question she asked me. Which, was a very pertinent question and something I have been thinking of. She wasn't being rude, mean or uncaring. But gah. "Sterilization". What a word.

I'm going to talk to my OB next week at my 6w postpartum checkup, but me and the NP chatted a bit. I think I've got it figured out. I'm going to get my tubes tied.

I want permanent birth control. I'm 36 years old and have what I consider a full family for us. She offered up some other "easier" types of permanent birth control, but the Ensure thing (where they put little spirals of wire up your fallopian tubes and your tissue grows around them, blocking your tubes) has some things up front I don't want to do.
1) it's in office and would be uncomfortable, even painful.
2) it takes 3 months for the tissue to grow around the wires and during that time, i'll have to use another form of birth control.
3) i would have to get an HSG to verify my tubes are blocked. Ack. First off, HSGs are outrageously painful for me. Some people don't have a problem, but I have had 4 HSGs and each one sucked. The worst was when I had a blocked tube - so I do ~not~ want to go in there with 2 blocked tubes for another one. This one causes me all kinds of anxiety.

The tubes tying thing ~is~ a surgery. I will have to go through that uncomfortable phase of recovery. I'll most likely have the shoulder pain from the carbon dioxide they pump into your belly. But it will be over lickety split compared to 3 months with the other option.

My big worry is the aspect of continuing to get cysts if my LUF syndrome continues. If it does, I can go on a low dose birth control pill, but I won't have to worry about that as my only form of birth control.

I ~really~ wanted Tom to get snipped (too) because after all I went through, I felt he should contribute in some way. But I can't figure out a way to rationalize him getting a vasectomy if I'm getting my tubes tied. Anyone have any ideas? (yes, it's completely due to spite.)

Update - The above statement looks like Tom isn't agreeing to a vasectomy, but he was completely on board. Tom WILL get snipped and has agreed. But I don't want to rely on that alone, so I'm getting something done myself. But now that I'm getting it done, he doesn't see why he should too. See what I'm saying?

20 comments:

Amanda said...

Hey, this might be good timing with your gallbladder problem.

I too am looking at getting my GB out and talked to my RE about him getting in there before they finish to look at my repro organs. He said he would and that he's done tubal ligations before after gallbladder removals so it can be done. So, you might check and make sure that you don't miss an opportunity.

Of course, I am having to do the leg work here. I had to find a general surgeon that operates with my RE and get them to schedule together. It's not always easy to get these things worked out, but why would you want to do it twice when it just takes a little more time to get both done the first time?

Good luck.

Amanda said...

"Tom. Dear. How many suregeries have you had? Remember how many I've had? A tubal ligation is an inpatient surgery. Did you know that a vasectomy was much less invasive?"

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Another one for your hubby - tubal ligations have a 0.1% failure rate, so you still could get pregnant! Not sure what the failure rate of vasectomies are but it gives you more coverage if you both get fixed!
Lisa

Anonymous said...

sorry that should say "Not sure what the failure rate of vasectomies is"
Lisa

jenn said...

Just out of curiousity- why are you getting them tied & not just him getting snipped?

I think it's only fair that he should do it too... but on how to broach it? 'Honey- it's your turn now' ???

Not in the Water said...

Can't your DH just get the vasectomy? And you NOT get your tubes tied? It's like "nothing" for a guy to have a little snip snip but a lot for a woman.

Just a thought.

Sarah R said...

If I were in your shoes, I would make my hubby get the vasectomy. After all you've been through??? Yeah...that's what I'd do. :) After all, it can be done in an office visit and just seems less invasive to me.

Does he not want one?

Seriously? - Erin said...

When we figure out that we are done having children I full intend on doing something perm. Since I had the DVT I have very limited birth control options. I have mentioned the snip to DH, he seems at least willing to discuss. It is so much easier on their bodies. Just takes SA to confirm it is all done.

I hope you find the right answer!

Carrie said...

Tom should totally get it done because your body doesn't *need* to go through any more surgeries! Besides, it's totally easier for him anyway. Man up, dude!

That being said, my hubby has already said that since I have to do labor/delivery that he'll get snipped. (Of course, this was before we found out he had MFI, so it seems totally ridiculous to even think about now...)

-Carrie

Simply AnonyMom said...

We both got fixed. We both knew we were done do it was not an issue for us both to get done.

The only thing I have to say is that my cramps are way worse now that the tubal has happened. I got it done at time of c/s with #2. I am glad I had it done, but the cramps are bad. It is not intolerable, just remind me of contractions and that is not fun.

I saw ask Tom. It is way easier for him to get snipped. In and out in less than 90 minutes and almost no recovery time.

~*JaYmE*~ said...

I'd probably pick the BCP route. For the simple fact that it helps w/cramps and regulates AF. If your hubbie is like mine he will never get a vasectamy. I hear that tube tying is that bad.. I know a few people that have had it done and it sounds to me like its pretty much like a lap... just really uncomforable for a few days.

MrsSpock said...

How many surgeries have you had? How much have you endured to have your children? Getting his thang snipped is a simple outpatient procedure that requires him to ice his balls for a couple days. He should be offering to run to the urologist right now....

Jenera said...

I had originally wanted to get my tubes tied but my doctor said that with me being overweight the complications were much higher. She said she'd do if I absolutely wanted to but I figured if it was a concern for her, I'd go with what she says.

My hubby will be getting snipped probably this spring. We have to find someplace to have it done and save up the money. Until then we're sticking with condoms. I have serious issues with just about every form of birth control.

Geohde said...

Personally, I'd never go for surgical sterilisation Just In Case I ever changed my mind, but that's me. Mirenas are pretty damn good, often no period after a while. That's my plan down the track.

J

Mareike said...

I had my tubes tied when I was 29 while I was in the hospital when my third child was born. The doctor had said something stupid like "Well you're going to be in the hospital anyway" and I was pretty meek and went along with it but it made me very sad because I loved having babies. A few years later my husband left me for another woman. Forunately they did not decide to have children together because I seriously would not have been able to cope if he fathered another child after insisting that I have my tubes tied. I'm not suggesting for a second that this could happen in your family I'm just saying it's not such a bad idea to both get the surgery. Perhaps it would be enough for Tom to just get the surgery but it seems another pregnancy for you could be dangerous so why not take every precaution.

Shinejil said...

I've had fertile friends who really liked the new fangled IUDs (plastic NOT copper) after they were done on the kid front. From what I understand, this is not the weird coil thingy (which sound horrendous) and it's removable.

Don't know if that's a possibility, but just throwing the assvice out there.

Hope you're feeling better.

Kaci said...

I was lost, sorry. Maybe have him get the V and you get another IUD? Seems a lot better to me than another surgery for you? Unless the cysts could get worse with it?

Yeah, I'm a total IUD pusher. I love mine.

Motel Manager said...

My husband is getting snipped, but that's all we're doing. I figure that that plus my natural infertility (endometriosis) should keep us protected. And I am totally having him do it to even things out. And if he has a 19-year-old wife someday, they can still do IVF. :)

Anonymous said...

Let me get this straight... you are 36. You call yourself "infertile" and have a blogroll a mile long about how much you went through to conceive this 3rd baby. And you think a vasectomy isn't enough birth control? Take a breath. Have him get snipped, and be done with it. Don't go through the drama of getting your tubes tied. Why? For what? That is a surgery. The big V is a quickie in-office procedure.

mommy2anthony said...

Why don't you get the IUD there is one that is good for 10 years, and Tom get the vasectomy? Just a thought.

Sarah