Thursday, February 26, 2009

I'm actually going to talk about it.


It took me a bit to want to talk about it. I was just going to ignore the whole damned thing, but after seeing some clips from the dr phil show today, I think I'm going to watch it and comment.

Why? Because I hate to admit this - but I'm a bit like her I think. From her questions I saw so far, she said due to the circumstances, they decided 6 embryos was the way to go to get one.

NOW - I do ~not~ know anything about any of the details of what happened yet. So she may be lying. And I still think 6 embryos is a ridiculous number. But I put in 4. And ever since, even though my outcome was perfect, I feel guilty over what a bad decision that really was because of the possible outcomes I pretty much ignored (or crossed my fingers against).

Oh - and I'm simply talking about her IVF decision. Having 6 kids already and being completely unable to care for them (no job, living with her parents, single, etc.) was a bad decision mostly on it's own. I'll try to tackle my opinion on that too. Especially about her right to have more children if single and already having children.

I have to wait for the show now. I'll be back with more on this topic.


And THANK YOU for the comments on my picture up top. I saw how easy it was to put on both blogs. And while closer to a minimalist than a decorator, I thought the pictures ended up looking good. I was a little worried about putting up a picture of one of my kids on this one, but I simply just didn't have any long/skinny (skinny picture, not a skinny me) pictures of just me. One I did have made me look like I had a mustache! You may of seen that one up for about 5 minutes while I searched for another one!


Amanda said...

Her doctor appears to have just been that bad. There wasn't necessarily a real reason to transfer so many. But that's just what I'm gathering from this article.

Jenera said...

I'm trying to refrain from posting about it because it makes me mad. The whole situation. And while I cannot really do anything about it, it all makes me want to go slap her and tell her to wake up.

Krista said...

From the interview I saw with Anne Whats-her-name, it seems to me like she had a high success rate of IVF working for her. It was kind of piecey, but it seemed like she was saying she'd had just 1 or 2 unsuccessful attempts at IVF. --That may not be correct, it was hard to follow, as things were not spelled out very clearly.

So for me, it seemed like 6 was way too risky, for someone who had been that successful. I could see how someone with multiple failed procedures (especially if they have no kids) might say on their last try - "put them all in." I could understand that, even if it weren't the choice I might make. This lady, this I cannot understand.

Steph O. said...

I agree w/the PP, I think her story is very sketchy & what she says just doesn't add up. I think her decisions were reckless, selfish, & irresponsible. (this is NOT an attack on all IVFers, just this woman) The whole thing just makes me very mad.

Not just the financial aspect of it, but I don't believe there's any way for her to mentally & emotionally care for them. She was so proud of "45 mins/day w/each baby." Ok,that's 6 hrs/day. And if that's what all 14 get, that's seeing their mom once in a 10.5 hr day. Those poor kids!

Shall we start a road trip to go slap her?

Poltzie said...

I noticed the picture right away and I really like it.
I can't comment on the IVF (ie. what i believe is right or what I would have done) because I've never been close to there but I think that octomom has some serious mental health issues and that it's probably not a very safe place for her children to be. Hopefully someone steps ina nd makes an assessment!

Kaci said...

While I don't want to get started on *my* opinions of her, I'll say I think she needs mental help. Something that bugs me is the way she has talked about her parents, who, hello, are letting her live with them & taking care of her other children.

Morgan said...

Good to hear from you! I'm glad you are back and doing ok!

Mareike said...

The whole situation makes me sad. I can be angry with a doctor who would agree to an IVF for a woman who already has six children aged 7 and under and isn't supporting herself or her children financially. I can't be angry with a woman who is clearly disturbed and I feel for all these little human beings who have been brought into this world. I'll never be angry if my "tax dollars" go to support people who can not support themselves. I am often sad for those who must depend on our help.

Lisa said...

I also have a hard time talking about this without getting very angry. She and her doctor were extremely irresponsible. Her 6 other children all came from IVF, so she was obviously successful with that type of procedure.

I personally think that we have Jon and Kate to thank for this type of situation. The octomom is looking for a way to support her children (she's been shopping around for a lucrative book deal) and Jon and Kate have paved the way. This world is multiple crazy and it seems like people are not happy if they only have ONE baby. Now, I am not talking about people that are struggling with infertility, but jut about everyone else out there who is not. If you spend any time on first trimester message boards you will see so many women who convince themselves they are carrying multiples and are so disappointed when they are not... It's ridiculous!

I know this all must sound weird coming from a mom of twins, but my boys were a genetic gift from my grandmother. I never even thought that I would ever have multiples and I know how hard it is. I guess this octomom makes me mad because she is clearly out of her mind and there are now 14 children that are going to have to pay for her stupidy...

Wordgirl said...

You know when this story broke I was really infuriated at what seemed to be her irresponsible choices -- and then after seeing her interviewed I thought she was a vulnerable person whose interests could have been better safeguarded --( vulnerable in the sense that something was going on emotionally...)

I felt that she was not very likeable and that the media was having a field day manipulating her -- even when I'm certain she felt she was in control -- then I actually found myself feeling bad for her -- and I heard Oprah really tore her apart.

In this country we are so keen on our right to privacy -- and this issue of our decisions with our families -- how we build and make them -- it understandably makes us gunshy when anyone wants to regulate that.

For me the issue comes down to coverage -- if we made IVF a covered benefit -- if we, for that matter, took healthcare out of the private sector and removed the free-market from it - making sure everyone is covered (call me a commie) -- AND made sure that women could have IVF procedures without having to save up money for years, maybe only having the one shot of success, tempting the fates at transferring as many as possible... make ivf affordable and this won't happen.

Steppin' off my soapbox now




JP said...

Glad to hear that the procedure went alright yesterday. Also, I love the new picture up top.

Sharon said...

I'm not sure how her 'single' status affects her ability to parent. I think 14 kids is a crazy amount for anyone (married or otherwise) but the right to have more children is not only for married women.

To Wordgirl: your proposal regarding public healthcare is like what we have here in Australia. All taxpayers pay 1.5% of their income to what is called the Medicare Levy. This allows for FREE medical care for everyone.

If you need an operation - you get it, if you need cancer treatment - you get it, if you are infertile - you get the treatment. If you want private doctors/hospitals you can buy your own extra insurance.

There are some gaps but the majority of treatments are covered. It works for us.

Poltzie said...

I don't think you implied that she wasn't strong at all. Your friend must be pretty amazing as well! It's nice that you named him Karl, everyone deserves a legacy!

..soo.see.. said...

the pic is beautiful!! and i've not posted about this either. it was mostly b/c i wasn't sure how i'd write about it b/c i didn't want to glamourize it. but the topic is still in the air after all these weeks, so i've considered it, especially w/ so many ppl making a reference to her after they see i have twins.. oops i digress. i'll be back to see your opinion on the show.

Heather and Jase said...

Oh boy. Don't get me started. My poor husband has to listen to my rants so I won't subject anyone here to them.

Jennifer said...

There is so much to the story that we do not know, but I can't help but get angry with the whole situation. There are SO many issues.

I'll start with the 6 kids, on assistance, no job, no home, and single having another child. I believe that people should be able to chose how many children you have, but if you can't afford the 6 you have now why try and have another. I'm not saying she should never had tried again, but she was not in a situation to be having any more children right now. She says she was not on assistance, but 3 of her children are receiving $600 a month each for disabilities (another reason she shouldn't have any more children right now) and she's getting $500 a month in food stamps. $2300 a month! Umm...that's just shy of my salary!!

The procedure itself. She says that for all 5 previous pregnancy 6 embryos were implanted and they didn't expect all to take this time either, but with six already that's a big risk to take. I'm interested in knowing more about the actual procedure. Apparently the embryos are actually implanted in the uterine wall and not just placed in the uterus. You'd think that would increase the odds even more. I'm beginning to the the Dr. used her and other women as a guinea pig.

The newest information says that she told an old boyfriend she had ovarian cancer to get him to donate sperm. IF she lied about having cancer, then it makes the whole situation even worse.

I really feel for the children. She CANNOT raise them herself...not possible. In most cases if a parent cannot raise their children they are taken away. She expects people to help her by giving her things, but what happens if they don't. I wonder if there are families that would love to adopt one or more of them.

It is NOT fair for the kids. They will never be able to spend quality time with their Mom. I also don't like the Duggar family for this exact reason. I don't believe that children should be raising their siblings and that it's not fair to them. I'm the 2nd of 8 and that was bad enough let alone 14 or more.

I think it is horrible that people are threatening her though. She is a human being!

Sorry I wrote a book, but it's frustrating.

Geohde said...

You'd have never got 4 Tx here. :). I had to argue for 2.

After a certain point, apparently all you really do is increase your risk of HOM's, rather than odds of pregnancy. As for octomum.....



Heather said...

I can't help thinking of the potential backlash if DHS lets those babies leave the hospital and go home with her...considering the condition of the home and the financial situation, I'd be beyond shocked if those babies were allowed to live with her, the other 6 kids and the grandparents. I do support her *right* to make her own decisions regarding her fertility, but she certainly doesn't seem to have made the soundest decisions here.

zach05kate95 said...

These little ones need to be adopted out. The ideal situation would be four families to take two little ones a piece and raise them together, I know it is a little far fetched, BUT so is leaving them with their mother. She has some serious mental health issues and is not grounded in reality. She just seems so flighty and fake when she’s around her other 6 little ones. This whole situation is a huge mess!