Friday, November 9, 2007

Blogtavism, My Story

For the 12 and a half fighting back project started by our own stirrup queen, mel, here is my story.

We were married in 2001 and tried to start a family a year later. I started right off the bat with opks and quickly learned things were as they "should" be and we tried. And tried. And tried. I made an appointment with my regular doctor at the 12 month mark and we were given a referral to the RE. At the time, I had to wait for pre-authorization from my insurance for any specialist, but I didn't think twice about it. The authorization came quickly enough, but to my dismay, the list of what was ~not~ covered was included. Let me sum that up for you in telling you what was covered - the office visits themselves. Everything else, all tests, drugs, ultrasounds - everything was on the "not" list. Seriously, what in the hell was I supposed to do at these office visits? Just sit and talk about getting pregnant?

We went through 6 months of treatment. Clomid, lap (covered by some miracle) and an HSG. Although I was told I had "minor endo", nothing was wrong. On the 18th month, I conceived my daughter, Ella. I honestly didn't do anything that month, as it was our "tab" month before our first IUI, since we had to save the $1200 cost out of pocket. It almost pisses me off a little bit that it was during a break because of all the "see, i told you that you were trying too hard!" remarks. But maybe it was due to residual clomid. Maybe due to more open tubes. Maybe due to cleaned out ovaries.

When it came time to try for #2, we wasted no time. I told my husband that we should get the non-pregnant months behind us so we'll have them under our belts once we get "there". I was completely expecting another long haul, but we got pregnant in the first month. What? A first-monther? I never would have thought it in a million years. And you know what? I fell horribly guilty over it. And now it's time for #3, our last installment to the family. Secondary+ infertility is a whole other ballgame and has been a bunch of other posts. All I want to say now is I don't "want" now any less than I did before. Am I lucky? Sure I am. But do I still feel heartache along with the failures? Yup.

The last 13 months has been insane. I've been diagnosed with LUF syndrome and Asherman's syndrome. Both are very expensively diagnosed and treated. I've spent maybe $5,000 out of pocket in the past year. It's a lot, but it sure isn't a drop in the bucket comparatively speaking to some people. Insurance still doesn't cover infertility treatments, but it now covers more. When I talk with my coworkers about it, they point out that it's unfair that a 55 year old man should pay for my fertility coverage. But me, a 35 year old woman pays for prostate health and I'm not complaining about it. Some people need things that others don't need. And others need things some don't. We're all in the together and I can't wait until there is a time that some diseases aren't left out in the cold in regards to insurance coverage.


chicklet said...

First, I've meant to mention a few times I love the name Ella - I've written it to my "list":-)

Re getting preggers on a break - I worried about that too! Cuz then those bitches get to be right!

Re #3, gawd, after #1 and #2, what you're going through with #3 really shows that it doesn't get any easier. I'm sorry it's hard for you and there's been all these delays. I hope they end soon and you get to move on.

SaraS-P said...

Thanks for sharing your story.

The comments about 55 year old men irk me. I hate it when single and/or very young women tell me that not having a child is not a "real" medical condition since it would never kill me.

Yet...viagara is covered. I guess limp penis is more life-threatening than infertility.