Nancy unplugged

I guess I shouldn't just disappear like that. Sorry for worrying anyone. I've simply just unplugged from a few things.

Internet - blogging, email, facebook, surfing
Cell Phone - 98% of texting, 75% of phone calls. I'm not ignoring calls, but I've stopped carrying my cell phone with me most of the time. If I'm out, I have it on me, but if I'm at home or with the family, I just don't have it with me. And I've always been horrible about returning phone calls, so not carrying my phone with me has just made it 1,000 times worse.

It'll just be for awhile longer, probably until after Christmas, so I ~will~ be back. All is well with me, I just needed to get back to my roots with my husband and children.

Nothing is really going on with me for the most part. Let me see ...
~ I went and visited my best friend in Phoenix last month. It was great.
~ I'm really starting to focus on my job search. I must have a job by January end.
~ Ella is amazing me with her reading and writing skills. She learned how to do both in Kindergarten, but she can read almost anything now and her handwriting is unbelievable.
~ Allison is following in her sister's footsteps in learning things at school. The one thing she doesn't have from her sister is her behavior in school. Allison stays on green light every day, in fact, she has only gone to yellow light one time this year, which was just the other day. I got her yellow card write up and it said "Kissed a boy". Ha. I hope that's not starting this early, but we got a good laugh out of it now!
~ Karl has finally started talking! He only said a few words up until a month or so ago, but recently, it has exploded. He can say dozens and dozens of words now and he'll repeat any word you ask him to say. It's so awesome. His pediatrician had said he will need to start speech therapy if he wasn't talking by age two, so he started it up two months before he turns two. Whew! Had me worried there for a moment.
~ I'm done with my weight loss kick. I was doing really well and actually, I accidentally lost too much weight. I got down to 118, which is just too skinny, so I gained 7 lbs back. I'm now sitting at 125 which is where I want to stay. I can fit into my size 4s now, (size 2 in gap! But I know how the gap and old navy sizes their clothes too big. A size 2 at those stores really mean size 4. But there is something about seeing that number which makes me smile!) I hope I'm able to maintain my current weight. Losing it isn't hard, it's the maintaining that is the real battle!
~ Due to my unplugging, I have lost some contact with some of my friends, which really bums me out. But I'm going to try my hardest to rekindle what relationships I may have missed out on. Besides family, friends are what is really most important, and I certainly don't want to lose that. I hope they will be able to find it in their hearts to forgive my distance.

That's about it! Thanks for all the emails, texts and phone messages many of you have left for me. I've tried to return many of them, but I'm sure there are some I missed.

If I'm not back yet, I hope everyone has a great holiday season!

Pop tarts are evil.

First I had one spontaneously burst into flames last year that almost burned down my kitchen. Tonight I was cooking one for Allison and had the molten lava filling poor onto my finger, giving me a huge blister.

Maybe karma is coming back at me for the things I've said recently!
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Dinner.

I just had the ~best~ dinner. It started off with a giant plate of spaghetti, with some awesome grated parmigiano reggiano smothering the top of the homemade saude (no jar sauce for us.) Then I had myself a whole lobster tail, dripping in melted butter.

Anything dipped in melted butter tastes scrumptious, but the lobster was over the top. Yum!

What did you have for dinner tonight?

First one.

Its snowing. Gotta love fall in colorado!
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Magazines and strip clubs.

Does it bother you if your husband reads nudie magazines? What about going to strip clubs?

None of it bothers me at all. I guess if he was going to strip clubs ~all~ the time, it'd be a different story, but the occasional strip club with the boys, I'm all good with.

I do have a silly rule when it comes to strip clubs though. There is a no sex rule when he comes home. I guess I just don't like the idea he'd be thinking of some stripper when having sex with me, so there is a one night waiting period. I don't think that's too much to ask.

So what about you? Are you cool with nudie magazines and strip clubs?

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Magazines.

What magazines do you subscribe to?

Mine are:
~ life and style (brain candy)
~ cosmopolitan
~ money (gift from my dad)
~ parenting
~ playboy
~ sports illustrated (for my hubby)
~ rolling stone
~ maxim

Wow. That's quite a bit. And I recently chose not to renew glamour, espn and better homes & gardens.

Now it's your turn to tell me what mags you get.

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Odds and ends.

~ I had a sliver on the ball of m left foot and it hurt everytime I walked. So I fit it out with a needle and I actually got that little sucker! But now I have a wound from all the needle digging and it hurts worse now than before. Awesome.

~ Did I mention our pathfinder got vandalized a few weeks ago? The little window behind the passenger's back window was smashed in with something. The door was still locked and nothing in the car was stolen. So we think it was just pure vandalism. With insurance, it cost us $281 to get it fixed.

~ The streetlight at the end of our driveway has been out for months (and we think the darkness had a play in the vandalism). Our neighbors across the street called the utility people and found out it was one of the lights that would no longer be maintained due to budget costs. If we wanted it turned back on, we would have to pay a fee of $75. So we are splitting the cost and our light is back on.

~ Insomnia has been kicking my ass recently. I just can't seem to get to sleep at a reasonable time. It sucks. But once I do fall asleep, I will generally stay asleep. Which is huge for me.

~ I tackled the laundry this week and for now, I win. All clothes, sheets, towels, blanket and floor carpets have been washed, dried and put away. As of now there is nothing in our hampers. Go me!

~ I've had a crazy sweet tooth the past couple days. I've been eating hot tamales and hershey chocolate bars. Getting AF by surprise tonight probably has something to do with it.

~ My favorite number is 25. I count all the time while I'm waiting for anything. Like a commercial break to end. A stoplight to change. The phone to ring. I think it's a touch of OCD.

~ I'm pretty sick right now. My throat hurts and my head is draining out my nose and down my throat. Yes, I know. It's crazily sexy. Don't deny it.

~ It's midnight right now and I'm sitting in bed, blogging, and sharing a lollipop with karl. He woke up covered in puke so after washing him up, he is wife awake.

~ I'm in love with the food channel. I love all the shows.

~ My favorite pizza is extra cheese, ham, mushrooms and uncooked tomatoes. What's yours?

~ I had to google the difference between it's and its. The general rule is if you can replace it's with it is, the from of it's is used. I think I've gotten that wrong for years.

~ Okay, time to go and focus on the boy. I hope he gets tired enough for bedtime soon. My eyes are burning.

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Drivers

Why is it that I seem to get behind people who don't realize they should pull up in the intersection when they re trying to turn left? When the light turns yellow, they don't go, instead just stay where they are through an entire light cycle. Seriously, who knows not to do this?

That's the problem with living in a smallish city. People don't have enough practice driving in traffic. I wish it was legal to gently push a car by their bumper to get them moving. I'd be pushing people left and right.

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I talked to the neighbors.

I saw my neighbor outside yesterday so I went over to talk with him.

The first thing he did was apologize for the barking dog. I told him I hoped he didn't think I was a crazy anti dog bitch. I told him I was cool with dogs amd didn't mind the normal barking. But barking nonstop for hours late at night, waking up my sick children, was what I wasn't cool with.

He explained to me they were out late Sunday night and that is was probably the rain that made him bark. Okay, sounds like a reasonable answer, but if you knew #1 that it was raining and #2, the dog didn't like storms, why in the world would you leave him tied up in the backyard during such an event? That makes so sense to me. Nevermind the barking that could distrupt your neighbors, what about the poor dog outside alone in the rain? That pisses me off.

Anywho, the dog turns out not to he his, but a friend's whom is staying with him. I think she left today. She was with them when they went out, so no excuse like he didn't know the dog was like that. The poor doggy. I hope she is given a better life at home than she was given here.


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I'm having trouble with viewing some blogs.

Now that I'm back in the swing of things, I'm bummed I can't read some of my favorite blogs. I can't get to Sara's (life goes on) or Mrs Spock.

Is anyone else having trouble viewing some of these sites?


The newest one I can't get to is April's. GRRRR!

A house full of sickos.

Saturday night, Ella came down with a fever of 102. Allison quickly fell into the same thing. Sunday was karl's turn at a slight fever. Now it's my turn.

I'm coughing up the grossest shit from my lungs. The kids have runny noses, sneezing fits and sore throats. It seems I have completely different symptoms.

Fun times.

Everyone still has low grade fevers. Which is good because that tells me their little bodies are fighting whatever it is we have. But fevers suck. Everyone is lethargic and just laying around the house watching cartoons.

I will admit I do like the extra cuddles sick children so desperately need.

Ugh. What a Monday. Tom is at work and so far has not gotten what we all have. I'm sure he will end up catching it also.

How is everyone else's Mondays going? I hope you are all doing better than we are.

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The new neighbor's dog.

The new neighbors moved in this week to their rental and the first thing needing to be fixed is to get a fence. They have a large German Shepard with a large bark and they leave him outside alone in the dark, tied up.

The dog has been barking incessantly for close to four hours now. Started at 8p and now its close to midnight. See, I don't mind the normal bark of a dog, but this dog hasn't stopped since their owners have left them outside to go out for the night. I don't blame the dog here. And I am giving the neighbors the benefit of the doubt whereas they may not know their dog barks nonstop when they aren't home.

My problem is m house is too stuffy to leave the windows closed but the dogs are waking up my sick children with my windows opened. They are all in bed with mild fevers. They are being woken up left and right from the barking. So I closed their windows and they are being woken up in pools of sweat.

I went and knocked on their doot but they weren't home. So I left a NICE note on their door, ~"I'm nancy from next door. Your dog has been barking constantly since you left, which brings up he problem he is waking up all three of my sick children. Please being him inside when you return. Thank you very much! :)"

And then when I see them tomorrow, i'll talk to them explaining I'm not a bitch and I even like dogs. Dogs barking their usual thing does ~not~ bother me. But the constant barking with no relief is what I'm complaining about. Especially with the added stress of waking up three sick children. I'm hoping they simply didn't know he would bark nonstop while they are not at home.

Here's to it going as smoothly as planned and they don't just write me off as a bitch. Because I'm trying really hard not to be like one.

Poor dog is tied up in his backyard, all alone, in the light rain and chilly night air.

What's for dinner mom?

That's my most hated question. I hate trying to figure out what to cook. I don't mind actually cooking, but figuring out ~what~ to cook is a pain in my ass.

What are you having, or what did you have, for dinner?

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psst....

I posted a few pictures of the kids over at my other blog if you'd like to take a look. :)

Nobel Prize in Medicine

I'm sure you have all heard about the pioneer behind IVF, Robert Edwards, was named the Nobel Prize in Medicine winner. I learned about it through facebook, with a few people linking to the article.

I read the article and you know what? In explaining IVF, they actually said the embryo would be "implanted" back into the woman's uterus. IMPLANTED. Seriously. You'd think they'd get the terminology correct when talking about something as important as the Nobel prize. Argh.

Anywho, congrats to Dr Edwards. It was because of him that I have a little boy named Karl. IVF rules!

I promise

to read and comment on all of my loyal reader's blogs and them some. Trying to navigate the comment boxes and word verifications to leave messages just seems to be too hard for me on my phone.

So, I promise to declare reader bankruptcy again and this time, for 30-60 minutes a day. It'll all work out. You girls all rule so much! Thank you. Through my dark days, which you may even not know about, I still get a couple of comments to brighten it. So thank you!

Congratulations dear "x"!

One of my favorite bloggy friends just found out she was surprisingly pregnant. She was late and I begged her to test. Which she did and a fabulous 2nd line came up right away.

She is going to wait until that magic 12 week mark to announce it, so I won't be saying her name. But I'm just so damned excited about it, I ~had~ to give her a shout out about her thrilling news.

So congratulations sweet "x". Congratulations.

I'm going to turn off comments on this post so you won't be able to figure out who is or is not commenting. Wow. I'm thrilled for her. I'm jealous as all get out, but I'm over the moon with happiness for her!

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Awards!

I've recently received two awards and wanted first to thank them, and then to fill them out.

The first was from the fabulous geochick and she gave me five questions to answer...

1. Do you still live where you were born/grew up? Why?
-- I was born in Kansas City, Missouri and I don't live there anymore since my parents moved us away from there when I was only five years old. I don't consider that "home".

2. What's your favorite holiday and what makes it so special?
-- Hrm. I don't really have a favorite holiday. But if I had to answer, I'd say Christmas. It lasts longer than a day and I love getting ready for it. I also like giving presents to those I love. And of course, I also like getting them!

3. Do people IRL know about/read your blog or do you keep it relatively private?
-- A few IRL people read my blog.

4. What's your favorite color?
-- Orange

5. We're all pretty open here in the interwebs but how open are your IRL about fertility struggles? What influences your openness or lack thereof?
-- I'm very open about my fertility struggles IRL. I figure the more people more, the better it is for the next person to understand it. I want more people to understand this disease.

The next one if from the beautiful Claire.



Here's how the award works:
- Thank and link back to the person who gave you this award
- List 7 things no one knows about you
- Send the award off to 7 bloggers who you think are fabulous!

Here are my 7 things:

First of all, it'll be hard to tell you seven things you don't know about me since I tell you about pretty much everything going on in my life!

1. I like my toenails super short. If any of them grows at all, I cut them to the quick and peel them off. Gross, no?

2. I don't wash my face before I go to bed. I know I should, but I simply pass out at night and never take the time. I end up with mascara circles under my eyes when I wake up.

3. I'm a lotion whore. I use lotion ~way more~ than the normal person.

4. I have a boob job. Although this isn't quite a secret!

5. I wake up Karl at night just so I can cuddle with him. I tell my husband I heard him crying.

6. I like to watch documentaries on just about everything.

7. I hate that the job of making dinner is a "female" job. But that the majority of chefs are male. My husband and I share most jobs in the house except making dinner. I freaking hate it.

A few questions for you ...

I love learning about my fellow bloggers, so if you have time, please take a moment and answer this little survey? I'll answer myself in the comment section.

1. What shoes are you wearing right now?

2. What are your favorite shoes?

3. What was the last cd, album, song, piece of music you purchased?

4. What was the last concert/show you went to?

5. If you could meet and band/singer (dead or alive), who would it be?

6. Back before IF, how many kids did you imagine yourself having?

7. After the IF diagnosis, how many kids are you wanting? (or how many do you have now?)

8. Do you believe in the death penalty?

9. Do you go to church? If no, do you believe in God?

10. If you were having your last meal, what would it be?

Cosleeping

We all know my personal opinion on how I feel about cosleeping with an infant, but this post isn't about that (whew! I know! Not another nancy-on-her-soapbox-post!)

I have a totally different opinion about cosleeping with a toddler or older children. I love it!

When one of the girls has a nightmare or just wakes up scared of the dark, they come to us in bed and gets in. This period of cuddletime is one of my favorite things to do. We don't make it a habit though, as I still believe our bed is just that. ~Our bed~. As soon as they are sound asleep in my arms, I carry them back to their own bed. But those moments of having a child fall asleep and sleep soundly in my arms is beyond wonderful.

Karl just woke up crying and did not want to go back down. So I scooped him up and brought him in his big bed with me. (we have a full size bed in his room.) it took awhile, but he finally fell asleep in my arms.

To be honest, I wish cosleeping with an infant didn't have risks of death. I would have loved to sleep with my babies. It's just such a peaceful time. And nothing competes with that sort of bond with your baby. I'm perfectly content though that sleeping with an older child or toddler is no longer dangerous. So when I get to do it, I will gladly let one of my children in bed with me.

I do want to be careful though, especially with Karl. I don't want our bed to become a permanent family bed. I still believe our bed is our bed. And children, for the most part, should not disrupt our one personal sanctuary. But on the rare occasion one of my children feel the need to sleep with me, I'm happy as can be to share my space.


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Let me talk about the weather.

I know, super fun topic, huh?

Colorado weather is weird. It always has and always will. But I do love it. It just takes some getting used to. After 13 years, you'd think I ~was~ used to it though.

It is unseasonably warm right now. High today will be 85. Which sucks. See, although 85 doesn't seem hot, we don't have air conditioning. (most older homes in Colorado don't have a/c. it's not just us) So it gets hot in the house. Not as bad as when it would get in the 100s, thank goodness, but still. It's warm.

Our saving grace is our attic fan. We have a huge fan installed in the attic opening and when we open the windows, it sucks in all the outside air and pushes the air into the attic. So our house gets as cold as it is outside. Then I close up the house to trap all the cold air in and all the hot air out. So our house does stay cool most of the day. It's late afternoons and early evenings that suck.

The weird thing is the temperature is in the low 40s at night so when I wake up, the house is freezing and I have to turn on the heat to get it to at least 60. Strange, I'm running the heater on the same day I wish for an air conditioner.

Another weekend is over.

Its Sunday night, another weekend is over. Although since I'm not working, it doesn't really matter what day it is. Except I get to spend time with my fabulous husband on saturday and Sunday.

Today was my day "off". Tom went to a football game yesterday from like 10am - 7pm so he wanted to reciprocate and give me a day off too. Except it didn't turn out that way. I went grocery shopping with all three kids in tow and then after a short break in between, we went to two different targets. I was just supposed to exchange one of karl's sweaters for a larger size but I ended up shopping some more. I freaking love that store. I spent $350 of money I don't have. I need to start leaving my debit card at home when I to there.

I just took a bath and then gave the kids a bath. Karl is in bed and the girls are watching TV. I kept them entertained all weekend which didn't involve TV, so that's good. Now they are just winding down with a cartoon before bedtime.

I think the hubs and I will watch a few episodes of top chef before we hit the sack. I have something like three - four episodes dvr'd. Its one of the few shows my husband and I watch together.

What do you and your husband do to wind down a weekend?


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Movies.

Has anyone seen any good movies lately? I'm thinking of going to go see inception. Thoughts?

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Bitchy or schnarky?

I've been awfully bitchy and judgmental lately. I will be the first to admit it. Its like I want the world to follow my rules. I need to get a better attitude!

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A fine line.

There is a fine line between tooting your own horn and bragging.

Tooting one's own horn is just sharing something the writer is proud of. Then there is flat out bragging. The latter has been irritating me in some of the blogs I've been reading. Sure, you're happy about this and that. I get that. Hell, I do it myself. But we don't need to hear about it in every post. We get it. You're happy about x, y and z. We just don't need to read about it in every other sentence. Its going to make me stop reading all together. And that sucks.

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The hunt is on.

I have finally gotten my shit together and I'm now officially hunting for a job. Its scary out there, I hope so badly that I get one fairly soon. I really should of started earlier but I just wasn't ready. Now I am.

Wish me luck girls! I really really really need some.

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Dear pregnancy gods...

If you are listening, please help my dear Shayna get her bfp she has dreamed about. I know you've given out some well deserved pregnancies lately, like tigger and Emily. They worked for years for it and you finally pulled through for them. Shayna has been trying for years and years and I think its her turn.

So please, can you send out one more for a deserving woman? Pretty please?

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I'm losing it!

I'm down another two pounds this week. Yay! I'm sitting at 136 lbs. So I've lost 14 lbs on my diet so far.

I shouldn't say diet, since I'm still eating anything I want. I'm just eating less of it. Portion control is where its at. It takes awhile for your body to get used to it and I didn't lose any weight for the first 3-4 weeks, but now its just melting off. I'm glad I stuck with it. Only 6 more pounds to go. I'm so damned proud of myself. Toot! Toot!

Today is house cleaning and laundry day. How do you spell boring? What are all of you doing on this fine Tuesday?

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I had to call 911 for my husband.

Yesterday my husband had a hard day. We were in the garage getting things together to go to the balloon festival and I heard something hit the washing machine. I assumed my husband dropped something. Five seconds later I turn to look for him and he is in the floor, having a seizure.

As quickly as it started, it was over. He hopped up telling me he was okay. But then he started feeling shaky and really weak. Off to the phone I went to call 911.

They were there within minutes. All his vitals checked out fine. They didn't think it was a real seizure, instead something to do with low blood pressure. They said they were comfortable with him staying home and watching how he felt.

Nothing has happened since. But it wad sure scary! I hope it never happens again.

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What's your favorite season?

I love summer, but I'm definately ready for fall. Growing up in phoenix, I never really experienced fall. It was more like summer and then winter. No in betweens.

I love warm days and cool nights. I love the colors of the changing leaves. I love the smell of the crisp evening air. I love to wear jeans and a cardigan.

What about you? What is your favorite season?

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Grumble.

I fucking hate backhanded comments. I just got one, which I promptly deleted, but it still pissed me off.

What's with people lately? If you don't like someone, why read and post on their blog? If you do post, just say what you want to say instead of pretending to he nice but actually saying something shitty? I'd rather get a straightforward comment then a backhanded one. I'd have to say I hate passive aggressiveness as one of the worst things out there.

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Its all over

My tooth is gone. And Yay for IV sedation to get through an oral surgery without feeling a thing. I'm quite sore now, but its not too bad. I can handle this.

The hole I feel in the back of my mouth is strange but you can't really see it when I open my mouth to laugh. And you can't see it at all when I smile. That's a relief. I don't have to feel embarrassed. I don't know when I will be able to afford a replacement tooth so for now, I will just leave that space empty.

Thanks for all the good luck wishes. They seemed to have helped!

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Wish me luck.

I have my oral surgery tomorrow morning at 9:30. It should be a piece of cake because I'm getting IV sedation. The recovery will be the worst of it.

I'm going to miss my tooth. We've been through a lot together!

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What a strange comment.

I just received a comment on a post that was months and months ago. It was a picture post which one of the pictures showed karl's little naked butt.

The comment was "rude or not, why would you put a picture of your baby's naked butt on the internet. No one wants to see that. And why would you embarrass your own child?"

I didn't know it was possible to be offended by a baby's butt. Apparently, someone was. How crazy is that? Of course the commentor was anonymous. I fnd it humorous that people feel free to be bitchy when hiding behind the anonymous capability.

I'm pretty opinionated and outspoken. (gasp!) But ve never hid behind an anonymous comment. I think anyone who does so is a pussy. If you've got something to say, say it behind your own name. If you don't feel comfortable enough to use your name, you probably shouldn't be leaving a comment at all.

Now I want to post tons of naked baby butt pictures!

What about you? Do you get rude and hateful comments from people who are too chicken shit to leave their names?


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Six.

All my jeans were in the washer and I needed a pair to wear. So I pulled off the top pair and they just looked too small, but I tried them on anyway.

They fit! Size six baby. I'm more than surprised but very happy with myself. I've been dancing around the house and checking out myself in the mirror. I'm such a dork. But I'm a skinny dork!

Sorry to be tooting my own horn here, but I'm just plain excited about it. I have eight more pounds to lose before I'm done with my dieting. I hope I can get there before my 20th class reunion. Who doesn't want a rockin body to show off?

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If...

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

For me, I'd have a house on the beach. Maybe one of the Hawaiian islands.

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Home births

Robin mentioned home birthing in her comment to my last post. It is one of those things I also feel strongly about.

I get why people want homebirths but it is another one of those things that are risky. Sure, most of the time they go off without a hitch but why would people risk something happenening? If I had Karl at home, I would have died. No ifs ands or buts. I would have bled to death and I would have left three children without a mother.

What do you think of home births?

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Co sleeping dangers.

I just read in the news of a baby dying due to cosleeping with his mother. The parents said they've always coslept and thought they were safe because they were such light sleepers and very aware of their child in bed with them. But tragedy struck them when the baby was accidentally suffocated.

How horrible. This poor family. They are going to have to live with the fact they killed their child for the rest of their lives.

Cribs are the best place for sleeping babies. Its beyond me why parents risk it just because its easier for them to breastfeed. I can't imagine the guilt this family will feel forever. It can happen in the blink of an eye. I seriously don't understand why anyone would cosleep.

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Monday, bloody Monday.

First off, thank you all for the birthday wishes! A lot of you commented here and I got bunches of Facebook happy birthday wishes. My birthday was great because of all of you. So thank you. From the bottom of my heart.

I went to the dentist this morning and got some bad news. My bad tooth is now infecting the bone. Which means I need to get it pulled. Lame. Its my very back bottom molar so I'm going to have to get some sort of replacement. I'm scheduled to get it out next thursday. Fun times.

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Happy birthday to me.

Tomorrow is my birthday. I will be a big 38 years old. How I'm inching closer to 40 astounds me.

My husband and I just went to a wedding. It was a full catholic mass. In Spanish. I'll leave it at that.

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Weight loss

There's one good thing about being really depressed. Weight loss! Yay?

I was 148 a few months ago and now I'm 138.5. Woot.
I'll probably gain it all back when I'm through with this, but for now, i'll take it!
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The nicu

Has anyone seen the HBO documentary "little man"? Its about the struggle a couple had to keep their 25 week preemie alive. He was born at just one pound. He ended up having a lot of problems but survived through the end of the film when he was two years old.

The program was really good to watch. Especially because one of my best friends gave birth to a 33 weeker just three weeks ago. He'll be coming home tomorrow. Yay! Way to go little man. Way to go.

I couldn't imagine working in the nicu. But what a fulfilling job when you are able to help keep a little one alive. Thank you to all the nicu staff out there. You are simply priceless.

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My mommy

My 73 year old mommy is coming to take her 37 year old daughter to the doctor in the morning. Now that I have kids of my own, I know she's more than willing to do this for me. I'll do anything for my kids. And if that means driving them to the doc when their 40, so be it.

Tomorrow morning I have my newest injection procedure being done in my facet joint. I haven't talked to the injection doc yet, but I think they're going in and burning the nerve endings. It'll be used as a diagnostic tool to find the exact spot I have pain. If that can happen, the surgeon can find that same place to go forward and perform a fuse on my spine to take care of the pain for good. The nerve burning is a short term fix but it helps them find the specifics or if it even works at all. I really want to be fixed. I'm tired of short term solutions that some work and some don't. I want to be pain free. So a big talk with my doc in the morning will be just that. Can they send the result to the spine surgeon if it feels like they got it right? That will all be covered tomorrow.

I need to check in at 6:45 from the 7:30 procedure. They'll be using twilight anesthesia instead of general, so i'll be awake throughout it, but awake is used loosely as when I've done this before, I remember talking to everyone as we get started but then memory blacks out and I'm suddenly back in recovery. Twilight sedationi is weird.

Well, give me your good thought tomorrow morning. I need them.


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Do you know who I am?

I was just driving to the store and the guy in front of me decided driving ~with~ gas was just too scary for him. So I honked as a friendly reminder to get it going.

As I turned into the right turning lane, I passed him and I could see him yelling at me. So I slowed down and rolled my window down...

"excuse me?" I query.

"do you know who you're fucking with?" he asks back.

I point around his beat up four runner and say "obviously not much".

He gave a stupid laugh and took off. I wish he told me who he was as all I could gather was a guy driving a piece of shit car who doesn't know how to drive.

Dumbass.


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After everything is said and done ...

I love the fact we did ivf/fet to get Karl.

I had such a mixture of ttc experiences.

For Ella, we ttc for 18 cycles. We did all the tests and exploratory surgery. Everything came out normal. I was diagnosed as unexplained, but knowing what we know now, it was most likely my lining that caused the trouble. We were in our way to our first iui and I got pregnant before we were able to move ahead.

With Allison, we got that elusive bfp on our first cycle. I got a taste of what it was like being "fertile". We were blessed.

With Karl came the big issues. I had uterine anomalies due to the previous deliveries. Scar tissue and cysts. I wasn't ovulating on my own anymore, instead, I was growing huge cysts. To get the eggos to leggo, I needed to be triggered with hcg. But my uterus wasn't healthy, with the help of an hss, we found my uterus was sealed 70% shut with scar tissue. It took four surgeries to make my uterus clear. And then the lining issues took over again. Our first ivf transfer was cancelled. Our fet was traumatic trying to get my lining to respond. With a mere 7mm lining, we went forward and thawed out nine embryos. At the time of transfer, we had four embyies ready to go. The doctor thought moving forward would be a wasted cycle, but I had to complete it. I couldn't cancel again. And low and behold, a pregnancy happened. It was high risk and after a mere 26 ultrasounds to check on the baby, things were coming to a close. A manual version later, my water broke and labor was on. Another traumatic delivery later, I had Karl in my arms.

Three babies, three different types of ttc, three different deliveries. Three different recoveries. I experienced it all. Well, not all, as so much could have gone differently, but I experienced a lot. Nothing followed the rule book. Nothing was the same.

After all was said and done, I can't tell you which ttc story was the "best". Although we were lucky one time with a cycle #1 bfp, I'm happy all my bfps weren't so easy. And I'm happy I got the pleasure to do something extreme as ivf and an fet instead of just getting pregnant after unexplained as I did with Ella.

You'd think after experiencing everything, I would wish we didn't have so much trouble. You'd think I'd wish everything went as well as allison's bfp. But I don't. I find myself feeling blessed I had to work at it. I feel blessed we had our mixture of ttc stories. I feel blessed to have gone through 3 iuis, and ivf and fet for Karl. But I also feel blessed to have gone through 18 cycles of unexplained for Ella.

I guess I'm trying to explain to women out there to not feel unlucky to have to move forward with their ttc. Only knowing now what I know, I'm not jealous of "fertiles". In fact, I'm happy I was not fertile. I got the experience of fighting with all I had for a pregnancy. I don't know of this will make sense, especially to those still ttc out there. But I would have missed out in so much if getting pregnant was simply easy.

Don't feel unlucky if your ttc experience isn't easy. You never know how an experience will change you. You may end up feeling the same as I do.
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Food.

If you could go out and have any food in the world right now, what would it be?

For me, I just got satisfied with some awesome sushi. Ella and I met some old coworkers of mine for lunch. I got Ella a cucumber roll, but as soon as she saw it, it was a no go. I guess trying to feed your super picky kid rice rolled up in seaweed wasn't such a good idea.

I got the cadet roll (spicy tuna, cream cheese, avacado and radish sprouts) and two pieces of plain raw tuna. Yummy. We shared some édamame' which Ella ate really well to my surprise. Ella ate her bowl of sticky rice and hit the m-n-m candy machine for dessert.

So what would you have right now?
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Typos.

I usually don't proof read as I don't really mind typos, but my goodness, my last post has like fifty typos. Its bothering me.

I just dropped the kids off at daycare. Now its just me and Ella. I have nothing planned for today. What is there to do? Its so nice to have plans and today I've got nothing on the agenda. What are you doing today?

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power cleaning.

Whew. Two hours of power cleaning gets stuff DONE! I cut corners - I swept buy didn't mop. I still got spills my band though. I didn't dust but dusted a few days ago.I canged everyone's sheets and already have it folded in the linen closer. I vacuumed but vacuumed around some shit I could have moved. I got the girls toys all in the you area and organized in a little. My room is perfect. Bathroom cleaned. Carpet. I still need to mop. Bed is made. Nothing is hanging off the wrought iron bed stands. Kids room about halfway in put away and vacumed. Other half in morning. Bathrooms are alright. All tables wiped down. No more collection spots. I feel better but now I'm all amped up. Oh, I just finished two baskets of laundry which made me catch up on all but one lone basket that isn't quite full enough to do know. Every dish is put in the. Dishwasher.

I think I can say it. I'm d o n e. D.o.n.e. Done?

At least for the night. In satisfied in how clean everything looks right now. Its relaxing.

It'll all be over by morning, but for now, it will remain.


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Surrogacy

I was recently asked to be a potential surrogate. Something I would love nothing better to do.

I called my ob asking about my last hss. Seems my stupid uterus still has issues. Remember me telling you about the adhesion bands I had? I guess that's an issue for carrying another child. I'd have to get surgery to remove it and then I'd have the risk of more scar tissue. This is something that definately stands in the way of being a surrogate. Damn it all.

I've carried three babies yet I still would have an issue in getting pregnant again. I'm so very bummed out. But if I couldn't get a bfp for someone else, it would break my heart and for the proposed parents. I guess its a good thing the rules of being a a surrogate are so stringent, but its something I guess puts me out of the running. Stupid uterus.
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Mareike?

Come out, come out wherever you are! I haven't heard from you here nor an email and I'm worried about you. Are you still out there?

(smooches!)

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Low 60s and raining...

Makes for a weird colorado july summer day. We have been getting our normal afternoon rain everyday, which is nice, but today was a little cold for my taste.

I went to the mall today and went ring shopping. Next year is my tenth wedding anniversary (ninth next wwednesday! Woot!) and I'm getting a new wedding ring. My engagement ring is a single round cut diamond and my band is just that, a band. So I've decided so far on a channel setting of round cut diamonds. I loved one so much I almost busted out my wallet right there, but ill wait until next year. Booo!

I haven't been reading blogs because I do 99% of my internet action on my phone and its just not conducive to reading blogs. Which sucks. I have to get on my computer and catch up. Until then, what's new out there internets? Any news?

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"At Just Brakes they really do care...

.. to stick their foot up your ass!"

My brakes just started to make a noise this weekend. I take my car in immediately. Guess how much?

$999.88

Yeah. They can kiss my ass while they remove their foot. Fuckers.
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Welcome to the world pj.

I don't know if she's giving out his name so ill stick to initials. Laurel was induced at 33w and he weighed a whole 2lbs 13ozs. Wow. Congratulations momma!
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I want to be a gestational surrogate.

But I think I'm too old. What's the age limit, doesn anyone know? And how in the world does one start the process?

I don't even know if I could be one in the count of my history with high risk pregnancies, but if at all possible, I'd be one in a flash. I think it would be the greatest gift I could ever give to someone.

I've been thinking about it so much lately, I wish I could just do it.
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Sleepy time

Its 830 and all three children are in bed. The husband is at another red sox game. I'm going to sneak away the night and go to bed now. I remember when I was punk rock and going to bed before 9 was ridiculous. That's the time I used to get ready to go out!

Ok, maybe I'm not that bad, but I'm being that bad tonight.

Have any of you recently gone through big changes like this?
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Discharged

karl was discharged this morning and he's doing well this day so far with is. He just took a giant nap. Poor kid, all that poking and proding he got.

The hospital was great though. When we finally for admitted, we were given a nice private room. In the bed were a teady near and a hand made quilt that were donated to every sick kid. I said I'd leave it for someone in need buy I was told if I don't take it, they throw it away. How sad! So I gathered the items and took them home.

Anywho. Thanks to you all leaving comments. In the past few posts. It was a scary night for momma for sure. I won't try to blame myself too much. Thatll be easier since Karl didn't get sick at all. Just a long night at the hospital.

Oh. They really need something better to sleep on for the parents. I got a padded bench. They gave me sheets, pillows and blankets. So that was nice at least. They said I could curl up in the crib with Karl of I wanted. Said that's totally allowed. I took the bench.

Thanks again everyone. Your words then and now mean a lot to me! I don't feel quite so bad of myself for letting this happen after reading your words.


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23 hour observation.

We are being admitted for at least a 23 hour observation period. The half life of this med is super long and another kid, bigger and older than karl took 8 days to recover. I'm the worst mom.
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Observation

So far the nurses have been sweet. Looks like I'm looking at 4-6 hours of scary side effects.
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How could I be so stupid?

I had the bottles in my overnight bag and I was unpacking them from the trip this weekend. I put one thing away and turn and he has pills in his mouth. I call poison control and the send me immediately to the ER. I think I'm repeating myself. I'm scared.
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Do you consider yourself lucky?

I do.

No matter what life has thrown on me, I am able to get through it. Why? Does luck have to do with it? Or is it simply fate?

What do you feel lucky for?

~ my husband
~ my children
~ a roof over our heads
~ food on the table
~ our health. Yes, even my own.

Sometimes you have to think about the basics. So many people don't have these things. And I do. I am lucky beyond words.

What about you?

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My car was broken into

I got in my car today and found it in total disarray. My glove box and center console has everything in it taken out and thrown on the seats or the floor.

Nothing was taken. All my electronics and cds were left. I guess they were rifling through it to find fast cash. Not interested in anything else.

Looks like I'm going to have to lock up my car at my own home. That's lame.

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Summertime and the livin's easy

It seems to have gone from winter to summer these days in Colorado. Definitely unseasonably warm. But I like it. I love the heat.

A few shoutout...

Good luck today for laurel's growth scan. She has been on hospital bedrest for four weeks now. Today is a big day because if the baby has grown in leaps and bounds, she will be sent home for bedrest there. Its hard to be in the hospital for that long. I'm bringing her lunch today and hope to share good news with her.

And a big congrats to Elana who got a surprise BFP! Her twins get a little sister or brother. Yay for her!

Me? The weight loss is going well. I think I'm a pound or two lost for the week. I'm eating good meals and snacking smart. I wish weight was easy to lose.

I saw my back doctor yesterday and I got a referral to the surgeon. I asked if my back will ever get better and was told my condition is degenerative. So I'm getting an opinion as to when back surgery may be an issue for me. I may not be a surgical candidate yet, but I'm excited to find out where I sit. I want to be fixed so badly. I can't imagine what it would be like to be pain free. What a wonderful concept!

I hope everyone's Friday is simply wonderful and your weekend rocks!




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The morning weight

Was 147. I'm taking it as a lb lost just to have something positive right away.

I was doing well friday and saturday but today blowed. We went to a town fair and I ate buttered corn, a snocone, an Hawaiian ice and some cotton candy. Then 2 breadsticks and 3 pieces of pizza. Two more slices around 1am too. So obviously this was my cheat day.

How I lost tons of weight easily is that I just stopped eating. That made it easy. But then my body goes into starvation mode and any calorie I eat stores on me. Which is why I gain the weight right back.

This time I'm going to lose weight by eating. Watching what a eat and the most important thing- portion control. Feeding three wee ones makes nutritious kind of hard, so there are things like pasta and pizza and chicken nuggets. Its a pain in the ass to cook two meals so if I eat what they eat, it'll work. Plus I'm starting to exercise again which is just as necessary as eating right.

I ~can~ do this.


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I weigh

148 lbs. Shit. What happened?

I'm 5'8" and should weigh in 20 lbs lighter. This sucks. But I'm starting right now to get out of my weight hole. Right now. So it looks as if ill be concentrating on weight loss and my blog will follow my struggle with it.

One of my med's main side effect is weight gain. But I'm not going to hide behind that. I ~can~ control this. I ~can~. Just watch.

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I got a new tattoo!

I got my right sleeve started. In whole, it is a cherry blossom tree. But in its brances, its got all the kis names in it. I love it.

Today was drive like a moron day.

Every car I was behind today drove like a moron. Seriously. Its been one of those days.

I hate hate hate when people are scared to turn left. Look, if that scares you, get off the road. Or just away from me.

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All day hangover

So I went and saw Flogging Molly on Wednesday night and I got so drunk. One or two or three many beers. But I had a blast! I was, however, the recipient of an all day hangover on thursday. It seems my body can't take that type of abuse anymore.

Getting older sucks dirty monkey balls.

"Not to be mean"

Don't you notice when people start off a sentance with "not to be mean" or "not to be rude" or some other phrase like that, the thing they have to say IS mean and/or rude?

Look, feel free to think what you want, but if you have to start off by saying something like that, maybe you should think twice before allowing it to come out of your mouth (or through your fingers)?

Sublime was, well, sublime.

What a wonderful night. Sublime was ON! It was zoo surreal to listen the whole crowd sing along with every song. They played everything I wanted to hear, even Scarlet Begonias for an encore. Amazing. Simply amazing.

One of the guys we went with had to buy a scalped ticket and it came with a box seat. While all the boys went down in front with the masses of people, I was in the VIP area where I had my own perfect seat. I couldn't ask for a better place to watch them while I was trying to keep my belly safe from any pushing. So that was awesome good luck.

What's the last concert you went to?

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Oh whoa is me.

My belly is still swollen like a football and its starting to turn purple. Ultra sexy if you ask me.

Still, I am still planning to go to Denver tonight to catch sublime. They got back together with a new singer (since their original singer died) and they're touring. Ill sit down in the back due to my condition, but I'm still excited to go. And a band I've wanted to check out, dirty heads, is opening. Seems like a good night to go watch some great music.

What are you doing tonight?

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I've been discharged.

Doc thinks its a hemotoma due to my hemoglobin going down from yesterday. They told me what I need to look out for and sent me on my way. Thank God I didn't need another surgery today to drain it!
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Update.

I saw the doc and he was shocked how swollen I was. So he is going to talk to the surgeon to see what he suggests. I may have to go to CT to see what's going on in there. I may have to go back to surgery to drain my belly.

The guy in the next room is entertaining me. He sounds like he thinks he is dying. "oh god. Oh god. It hurts. It hurts. Oooooh! Please help me. Oooooh! oh god. Oooooh!"
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I'm back in the hospital.

The left side of my belly swelled up like a football. I called the doc and they sent me to the ER. I swear, can I get some good luck today?
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I'm out of surgery!

Surgery went well I guess. I'm in post op eating graham crackers and drinking apple juice.

How crazy. I can't believe I had emergency surgery today! And, of course, I blogged about it. Since I came from the ER, I had my stuff with me so I had my phone.

Going to relax now. Hope your day is nothing like mine!
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I'm going to surgery

In ten minutes. Wish me well!
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Im in the hospital

With possible appendicitis. Fun times.
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Nancy: 1. Laundry: 0.

Take that laundry! I got ahead of you this weekend. Even towels and sheets have been washed, dried, folded and put away! Ha!

So. I'm fat. I gained like 15 pounds somehow. Well, I know how - I eat a bunch of crap. But 15 lbs in two months? A side effect of my medication lists weight gain as symptom #1, but I didn't think it would affect me. Seems I'm not so lucky. I was so proud of my weight loss after Karl was born and now that's all down the tube. Lame!

So I'm now on a diet. I need to eat more often and better. No more skipping meals until I'm famished and eat fatty and sugar filled foods. I have to lose this weight. Its almost bikini weather and I can't look the way I do right now. I feel ugly in my own skin.

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The monster is gone.

I've come to the realization that the green eyed monster is almost gone. It took some time, but it seems I am no longer jealous of other's pregnancies.

I was talking with jenn yesterday about this. I think I've finally come to the place that pregnancy is in my past and I'm okay with it. The memory of my pregnancies is still with me but its time to turn the page and focus on my life with my children.

One of my best friends is pregnant right now and I love talking about how she is feeling. And I even watched one of those baby TV shows and I was fine with it!

I didn't know I would ever get over the fact my turn is over. But somehow it is. I guess it just took some time. And its a nice place I'm in now.

What about you? Have you ever been in a place where you were jealous about something and found you are over it somehow?

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Its raining its pouring...

I love rain. I really do. But this is the second time its messed up my scheduling of getting our lawn power raked. Oh well. I'd rather it rained and rescheduled the appointment then not smell how beautiful the air is after a nice rain.

What are you doing today? I'm cleaning and being a mommy while the husband is out getting his chest tattooed. I'm dying for my next ink session. Have I mentioned it? I'm getting a cherry blossom tree with all my kids' names written in the branches. Its going to be so awesome. It'll be on my right arm. I can't believe I'm going to be double sleeved.

Welk, time to get back at it. Here's to wishing everybody a wonderful weekend.
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Why do people love screwing with nature?

These "your baby can read!" commercials are irritating me. Why on earth would someone. Need their baby to read so early?

Leave learning alone people. Babies are soaking up as much information as they need. They don't need to learn sight words now. Let babies be babies!

This reminds me of process elimination or whatever they call it. Teaching babies how to use the toilet. When in reality its teaching the parent how to know when to hold the baby over the toilet.

I don't know why this all bugs me. Nature knows how to allow babies to learn. Why speed everything up so much?

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Aw, shucks.

Thanks for letting me know you are still out there! You all made me feel all warm inside!

I'm sitting outside in the sun right now. Savoring this Colorado spring weather. Its just gorgeous out now.

Although I feel I'm coming down with a cold or something. I feel it in my chest. Yuck. I hope I can avoid getting sick.

How are you all doing out there? My reader is full and there are tons of blogs I need to get to. Fill me in!

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I lost it.

I lost my readership, didn't I? I've been a crappy blogger lately!
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It's George's fault!

Ah. I figured out why my kitchen has so many problems for me. The guy who first owed our house died in the kitchen.

All of these things happening to me in the house all orginate in the kitchen. Two toaster fires, light socket bursting into flames, huge electric shock from one of the electrical sockets, fire alarm going off whenever I even turn on the (very clean) oven.

Ah ha.

George.

For all intensive purposes, it was supposebly irregardless to the story!

Heh.

Those three words/phrases are my vocabulary pet peeve. ESPECIALLY when I hear someone in a position of authority use it.

Today it was the newscaster chick. She said "supposebly". Um, hello, news chick? There is no such word as "supposebly". Really. See? --> "supposebly - no dictionary results". Yet people use it all the time. And it drives me absolutely batty!

Irregardless is another non-word that is used a lot. But it's made it in the dictionary.

"—Usage note Irregardless is considered nonstandard because of the two negative elements ir- and -less. It was probably formed on the analogy of such words as irrespective, irrelevant, and irreparable. Those who use it, including on occasion educated speakers, may do so from a desire to add emphasis. Irregardless first appeared in the early 20th century and was perhaps popularized by its use in a comic radio program of the 1930s."

As you can see, it's a word, but REGARDLESS is all you need to say. Adding the Ir makes it a double negative.

But my absolute favorite word/phrase blunder if "For all intensive purposes". It's amazing how often I hear it. And every time I do, I crack myself up laughing. Which is pretty rude when someone says it to me face to face and I laugh and point right at them. For the record, it's "For all intents and purposes". I actually heard it come out of the mouth of a "Jeopardy!" contestant who was introducing herself. She didn't win.

Do you have a favorite word or phrase blunder? Does hearing someone say the had lose pants on make you want to loose your mind? (yes, I'm making the errors on purpose.) Have you ever read someone talking about angles in heaven? I didn't know geometry would be used in the afterlife. Did you?

It ~is~ a new toaster!

I replaced it after the original fire. So I think my house's soul just keeps making deals with whatever applicance I bring into the house! ~wink~

My house ~wants~ to catch fire.

Seriously. I've never had such fire troubles ever.

First, my heating lamp got unhinged somehow and fell on top of the wood log in peter pan's cage (our tortoise). We just happened to get home when if happened, as we caught it before too much damage was done. It was smoky and the log was smoldering, but we got it taken care of immediately.

Second, my toaster sticks while cooking pop tarts and I get a raging fireball, damaging the entire kitchen from the smoke. After washing all curtains, rugs and scrubbing down the cabinets, it was back to normal.

Third, my light switch in the kitchen for the garage lights catches fire and the only thing that stopped my house for going down in flames was the metal casing the wires were in. Whew! $80 bucks later for some rewiring work from the electrician, all is fixed.

Forth was the toaster, yet again, which somehow got turned up to high high high and it turned a bagel into two smoking little disks of burnt bagelness. Dammed toaster.

This time it was an evil plan cooked up between a pineapple and my toaster. Yes. My toaster. Again.

I made chinese for dinner last night, which means I spent the day cooking. Cashew chicken, fried rice and won ton soup, all from scratch. Well, trying to keep up with the dishes while I was cooking, my pineapple got knocked over. I didn't think twice about it and continued my cooking. Next thing I know is Tom comes in the kitchen asking if something was burning. That's when I noticed it. The kitchen and living room was filled with a light smoke and we started the search for the culprit.

I immediately panicked and ran into the children's rooms, making sure there wasn't a fire in one of their rooms. Nada. Thank god. Then we went around the house, letting out nose to the investigating. The smoke seemed to be worse in the kitchen and I checked the burners. The ones that were supposed to be on were on and the other ones were turned off. I checked the oven. And then it occurs to me. The evil toaster.

Apparently, when the pineapple was knocked over, the bulk of the pineapple pushed down the lever, turning on the toaster. The leaves on top of the pineapple landed perfectly inside the toaster which were smoldering.

An ironic side note is I am allergic to pineapple!

My toaster is out to get me. I'm sure of it.

is it because something ~i~ did?

My kids are good sleepers. Scratch that. Other than Allison, my babies were good sleepers.

I'm tired tonight and I'm laying in bed listening to my little boy sing to himself, play with the crib gym and aquarium. And I think about how I just put them down to sleep and they'd go to sleep after some time or immediately. Even allie would go right to sleep, her problem was staying asleep.

So I wonder, CAN babies who co sleep or who are rocked to sleep or nursed asleep fall asleep without those things? I definitely not starting anything here, as I'm really just asking a basic question. Is it simply impossible for a baby who has any sort of routine given to them to go to sleep fall asleep in any other way?

Tomorrow morning is my big "what's next?" back appointment.

You may remember me calling my newest back doctor, "dr love", because I was in love with him - due to him knowing what was wrong with my back. At that time, he said there was a lot that could be done - all the way to surgery for fusing the vertebrae together to facet joint replacement.

Since then, he's sent me to Physical Therapy (which he's since stopped, knowing it's not going to help my problem) and to a Pain Management Dr who performed the series of three injections (which is the most I can get in an entire year). Last time I saw Dr Love, he simply discussed positions I can sleep in and how pillows can help, refilled my pain patches and sent me on my way. That was Jan 26th. Since then, I haven't gotten any relief and I'm in agony every single night without fail. So I made an appointment, which is tomorrow morning, to ask him "what's next?".

I'm a little nervous about what he'll say. I was so positive about seeing him at the beginning because he seemed to understand what I was going through, but just sending me on my way last time with pillow positions has gotten me worried. I'm going to bring up the surgical options. I don't want to just be set aside as a there's-nothing-more-to-do patient. I want help. I want to get better. I want to do everything possible to ~cure~ my back issue, not just deal with it.

I don't know why I'm so scared, but wish me luck.

The worst nickname ever.

Back in high school / college, I skateboarded. One day I feel hard and got some major road rash on my knee. All my skin was scraped off my knee and developed into a huge scab. Whenever I'd walk, it would crack and bleed. It was horrible.

Just days after, I went to a party. I had my plastic cup of beer and was sitting on the couch with my leg up on the coffee table, trying not to bend it. A friend of mine asked if I needed a refill and I took him up on his offer.

There was a sharpie on the keg so you could write your name on your cup to keep track of it. My friend took this opportunity to write my name on my cup. "Scabbie". He thought it was hilarious and apparently so did everyone else. And the nickname stuck. I was known as scabbie for months and months and months. Scabbie. Yeah.

My most used nickname though was "blondie" and in one group of friends, I was known as "bubbles".

Did you have a nickname growing up? Do you still have a nickname?

Lots of blogging and laundry.

I am trying to get back on track with blogging, so I am hereby declaring I will be blogging every day to every other day. There. I got it out there. Now I have to do it!

And my topic for today? Laundry. Mundane. Run of the mill. Everyday. Boring. Laundry. What a way to start out a big blogging kick!

I separate loads into:
~ whites (hot)
~ lights (warm)
~ heavy lights - as in sweatshirts, pants, etc. (warm)
~ darks (cold)
~ heavy darks (cold)
~ kid's lights (warm)
~ kid's darks (cold)
~ towels (see question below)
~ sheets (see question below)

You'd think I'd have too many categories, but rarely do I not have a full load to do in each and every catetgory.

I have a question. What water tempurature do you do your sheets and towels?

My knee is killing me.

oh. my. god. ~ouch~

I thought my cyst was going away, as it's smaller, but now the area under and behind my knee is killing me. It's about as big as the area of your hand and it constantly hurts. I've been icing it to try to help get the pain under control.

I wonder if this is in connection with the cyst. ~shrug~ All I care about is it gets better pronto. This sucks!

Sling Dangers ...

Did you just see the news about the 7 day old baby who was suffocated in a sling? ~tragic~

See, babies don't have the lung power to clear the carbon monoxide from small places. Blankets/materials don't have to be against the baby's face, even small clear spaces are so dangerous. This is why co-sleeping is a danger. You can be so careful to have blankets/pillows away from the babies face, but if the baby doesn't have a CLEAR and BIG opening to clear out the carbon monoxide from their breathing space, tragedy can strike.

So if you use a sling or co-sleep or use blankets or pillows, PLEASE remember they need NOTHING around their sleeping little mouths. Even leaning into mommy to breastfeed while laying down can be dangerous.

Please, please, please be careful with your little ones. Please. This is too tragic and happens more than you'd think.

What the hell is today? Tuesday?

I'm losing track of days. How terrible.

Anywho, thanks to Alina and Erica who diagnosed me correctly - the lump in my knee? it's a Baker Cyst. I guess it's pretty normal and will either go away on it's own, rupture, we can have it aspirated or surgically removed. It's still the same shape as it was before, maybe even smaller now, so my idea is to leave it alone and it'll just go away. I don't notice it hurting as bad as it was before. So we wait.

What am I going to do with my life? Is the question which has been going round and round in my head. 0........./020111111111111111111111111111111112. (karl says "hi") I know I want to go to nursing school with all my heart, but is that the best thing for our family? Urgh. Big life decisions suck.

What about until then? I have two options - get a job or just pull unemployment. I was thinking if I get a job, it'll have to make enough to put both kids in daycare and then I'd have the issue of getting out by 3:00 to get Ella by 3:30. And, it'll look better to get grant money next year if I don't make a lot this year. Or I can get a job and lose unemployment and work out the times. I think for now I'm going to stay on unemployment and get all accepted into school in the meantime. I gotta get on the boat with that one.

I had nightmares all last night about bugs and mold. No clue where that one came from but I dreamt about it ~all~ night. Yuck.

I found a lump.

There is a spot on the back of my knee (in the "knee-pit") which has been bothering me for a few weeks. I could feel something when I walked, but couldn't feel anything. As time went on, the spot had become more painful. My knee has become a tad weaker in stride. And I feel something in there popping back and forth along the tendon while I walk. Last night, I found it. The lump.

It's as big as an olive and can be pushed back and forth next to and between the left back tendon on my right knee. And it hurts. Not bad, but its bothersome. It's sore when not touched and is painful when pushed on.

No idea what it could be. I have an appointment tomorrow morning to have it checked out. I hope it's nothing.

The house is on fire.

I have been having some bad luck with fire in my house. First I almost burn the house down making a pop-tart, and last night, my light switch tries to do the same thing.

Last evening, I was doing laundry (washer/dryer is in the garage) and every time I went outside and flipped on the light, I heard a weird noise coming from the light switch. Hrm. I thought nothing of it and continued on my way. But last last night I smell something. It smells like burning plastic. What the hell?

And then I notice it. The wall surrounding the light switch is black with soot. I feel it to make sure it's not hot and I run to grab a screwdriver to open it up to see what it going on. The inside was a big piece of melted plastic. From what I could see, the only thing stopping it from catching fire was the metal housing. Whew!

So now I sit waiting for the electrician. I'm hoping he's able to replace it without having to rewire the entire thing.

Thank you to the powers that be for not allowing my house to burn down.

SOCKS!!!

I received a package two days ago and had ~no~ idea what it could have been. I certainly didn't order anything (it sucks being broke). I brought it into the living room and opened it like I was opening a christmas present.

As soon as I opened it, I realized it ~was~ Christmas! yay!!!



Yes. It was Sock It To Me time! And the wonderful Miss Susy was my secret bloggy buddy who was in charge of sending me socks.

I've been reading her blog for eeons, so I was excited when I saw her name. And plus, me knowing her meant she knew me, so I'd get me some awesome socks. And I did. Actually, I got THREE pairs of socks! And they all signified something.

This first picture shows the two I'm not wearing right now. The bear socks represent my "mama bear" status. The winky skull ones is because although I'm punk rock, I'm a secret girly-girl too (she is SO right!)




And this picture shows the ones I am wearing right now. BAD ASS, eh? I love love love how there is an arrow pointed upwards. I'm ~so~ going to rock these socks with a pair of shorts as soon as summer comes. You better believe it!




So THANK YOU Susy. You rocked out picking me out some bad ass socks and I love them all. You fucking RULE!

And thank you Kym for being the awesome girl that you are and put together SITM every year. This is my 2nd year participating and I've enjoyed it each time.

My sock partner, Mrs. Gamgee got a lame partner in myself as I totally forgot about SITM this year until I got my package from Susy. Although I immediately got on my favorite sock website and picked out three pairs, the fact remains that I'm still late. I shot off an email to her asap and hopefully she won't hold it against me when she gets her awesome socks I picked out for her. :)

Boobies!

I really don't have anything to talk about regarding boobies, but I couldn't think of good title. ~wink~

(psst ... there is a video of karl's first steps over at my other blog!)

I'm still in the first steps of figuring out my insurance options. I've sent a letter requesting the specific reason for being denied. After that, I have to get my psychiatrist involved in writing a letter that I am "stable" and for how long. That should help.

I asked about the suicide rider, and my representative said that would be impossible due to under federal law, after 12 months, it's a covered condition. He went into a lot of explanation works and it makes sense, but it's just too much to go over now. It's all due to people covering their asses in all ways - it's lame. It'd be so much easier if we could just do a rider.

I got my very first week of unemployment. Yippee! We really needed this money. My stress levels have decreased so very much. ~whew~. We'll still be on a tight budget, but we have a little over $400 a week to breathe now. Woohoo for unemployment benefits!

Speaking of unemployment, I'm really starting to think nursing school ~will~ be my new option. I'm going to go through the steps to get accepted for Fall semester now. I'm pretty excited about my future.

Speaking of future (how do you like my way of jumping into new subjects?), I wanted to say a big bloggy congratulations to a friend (who hasn't updated her blog yet, so I can't give it away!) for her BFP! Yay!

~Un-Insurable~

I am livid. ~~

I applies for life insurance awhile ago and went through all the steps in getting it underwritten. My insurance agent just called to tell my application has been denied specifically due to what was written in the report from my psychiatrist.

My life insurance agent didn't know the specifics due to privacy issues, but said he's only seen this a handful of times in his career, usually due to something serious, like someone being suicidal. Um, last time I looked, I wasn't suicidal. What in the world could she have said? I was diagnosed with "generalized depression" which is NOT a reason to be denied life insurance (per him).

Something has gotten to be wrong. She must have gotten me confused with someone or just made up some crazy shit. Heh. No pun intended, but it made me laugh. I've left a message with her office to call me back, so hopefully I'll get a call back today or early tomorrow.

At least this is able to be argued. He said he'll call me back with the number to the underwriting department so I can request the exact reason for my denial. I'll get to the bottom of this, but until then, I'm simply stuck with being pissed off.

If everything is on the up and up and I was denied for depression, I think something is really screwed up with the world. I thought depression was one of those things someone shouldn't be embarrassed of and now I'm feeling like it's something I should have tried to hide. I thought it was one of those things that are being more publicly accepted. I know I shouldn't be ashamed, but a situation like this has made me feel like it.

Grrrr. I was so open with the application process and now this. Next thing I'm going to be told is infertility is another reason for denial. Lame.

Laundry

I just don't see how it's possible to have so much laundry. My mother had 5 children and did the laundry once a week. I do a load or two everyday and I never seem to be ~done~.

How do you keep up with your laundry?

Maybe I'm just inept at watching movies.

I watch movies weird. I already know I'm a tad strange in watching the ends of movies, but today, I was thinking of the other things that may be considered "weird".

~ I always try to spot mistakes. Like watching a clock in the background to see if the time remains consistent. Or the amount of liquid in a cup. Or if some one's clothes are wet, they remain the same amount of wet throughout the shots. You know the movie "journey to the center of the earth?" It's hot and they guy's shirt is wet with sweat. But the sweat stain is constantly changing. This is how I watch movies. I don't watch the actors speak - I constantly scan for errors. And I find many, many, many of them.

~ Luggage. Luggage in movies piss me off because they are ALWAYS empty. You can tell when people are carrying empty luggage. And I swear, no one ever puts anything IN them, unless of course, they are opening/closing/packing them. Other than that, they just carry them empty.

~ Women always wake up in bed with perfect make up and hair. Sometimes it a bit tousled, but it's not the way I look when I wake up!

~ Background extras. In scenes in malls, airports, the street, I watch the extras. And I can usually spot the same person walking back and forth. Or the same extra in different scenes. The movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger Total Recall. There is a guy who walks by in the background multiple times in every scene with extras. He must be doing the producer.

~ Stunt doubles. I am constantly stopping and clicking back in a movie to look to see how badly the stunt guy/girl doubles as the actor. Hint to movie producers - The same outfit and a wig does not a double make! It's always worse when it's a stunt guy/girl doubling as a kid. It's hilarious how they try to make an adult look like the kid. Hilarious.

~ This isn't a movie, but has anyone seen the kid show "Bear in the Big Blue House"? We don't watch it anymore, but when the girls were little, they sometimes watched it. And the bear drove me absolutely nutty over one teeny aspect - his right arm. Okay, this may be a bit hard to describe. The bear is like 7 feet tall, so the actor inside the bear suit must use his right arm to operate the head/face somehow. His left arm is inside Bear's left arm, so that's normal. But since the actor does not have three arms, the right arm is fixed in place. And that lack of movement drives me nuts. It's quite annoying. Take a look next time you see the show on and you'll see what I mean.

~ CSI. Can anyone turn on a freaking light? Please? You'd think as crime scene investigators they would want to be able to see and find everything possible. Yet they continue to do everything in the dark.

~ Speaking of lights, I also notice how a candle or a lamp or a flashlight can suddenly illuminate an entire room. Movie sets must use 5,000 watt light bulbs. Except CSI of course.

And here is where I start to get schnarky ...

~ My worst pet peeve in the movie theatre is people who eat candy and constantly scrunch the cellophane wrapper. Seriously, can you please pour some in your hand or take off the fucking wrapper? You don't have to eat them one by one.

~ Another pet peeve in a movie theatre is people who think texting (or just looking at their phone) during a movie is okay. That light is fucking annoying. The theatre is dark for a reason. You know how if you get up in the middle of the night to go pee or whatever and if you turn on a light, it fucking blinds you (and it's why I pee in the dark)? Yeah - same thing with your phone. It's overly bright and it's damned rude.

(Crunching on popcorn or sipping a drink or getting up to go to the bathroom or laughing overly loud - I can deal with that all. It's all normal things. But talking over a whisper, candy wrapper scrunching and cell phone usage is overly annoying. Don't these people care about anyone else but themselves?)

Anywho - that's my list. Is anyone else like me? Or do I just watch movies differently than the entire rest of the world?

I'm still alive.

I don't know where my motivation for blogging went. It's not like I don't have the time - as an unemployed girl, time is what I do have. As I said on the my other blog (and posted a few karl pictures) we just got over a stomach bug. But other than that, pretty much nada.

So I'll leave you with a question ...

If you had to pick between losing taste or hearing, what would you choose?

Just because I'm done ttc doesn't mean my uterus is done giving me trouble.

Jeez. Can I catch a break? Please?

So. My cycles have been wonky and I was bleeding everyday for, um, like 27 days. Yes. 27 days. I figure that's a bit much and i call my OB, asking if I need to come in. Yes, yes I do. My appointment was scheduled for the next week and of course, my bleeding stops. The power of simply having an appointment fixed the issue. But I went to the appointment anyway, at least discussing what the hell was going wrong.

First off, I sit in the waiting room amongst all the pregnant bellies. That's just torture. Even sitting where I am, it's hard. Stupid IF. Anywho, I get called back and my fabulous OB comes in. I get a pelvic exam and a manual and he thinks he feels something. Great. So he leaves to talk to his u/s tech to see if she has time to assist with a SSG. He wants to open up my uterus with saline, while watching with the u/s, to see if anything is in there.

Before the SSG, I get a visit from the monkey wand. We find a pretty cyst, clocking in at 4cms. Not that big at all for me, since I used to get 9-10cms cysts regularly. Then my OB comes in and I get my procedure. My uterus opens up and we find an band adhesion. Basically scar tissue stretching from each side of my uterus. Awesome.

He says since I've stopped bleeding and I'm not trying to get pregnant, we should just leave it be. But if it gives me any more trouble down the line, I'm to call him again and we need to go inside for a look. Another surgery. What a lucky girl I am!

Life after infertility.

Infertility sure has screwed me up.

The biggest part of my title isn't "infertility", it's the key word "after". But how come I can't put it all behind me?

I can't watch any baby delivery shows on television. I abhor even seeing the commercials for shows like "I didn't know I was pregnant". I have a hard time listening to anyone talk about how many kids they are going to have, like a given pregnancy will just happen on queue. Hollywood is fucking baby crazy right now that even in my brain candy magazines, there are weekly sections like "don't stars have the cutest babies!". Pah-lease.

And although I can't put it behind me, I find that I am proud as hell of my infertility. Sure, the 39 monitored cycles I went through weren't a walk in the park. The 8 bajillion injections I gave myself through my IVF and FET cycles sucked. The PIO injections my hip endured daily for 13 weeks still are lumpy from the torture. But now that it is all over, I beam with pride when I discuss karl's frozen beginnings.

Every now and again I read a blog discussing someone's discussion on whether or not to tell a child about their ART leading to their conception. And I simply don't get it. I don't pass by a chance to explain our IVF to someone and I certainly won't keep it from my son. If anything, it shows just how much I wanted him and what I was willing to do to get him. And while I respect someone else's decisions to tell or not tell, I'm certainly telling.

Something I don't get ... I remember reading someone discussing their IVF child and how they found it degrading to call their baby a "test tube baby". I hadn't gone through IVF yet, so I didn't discuss something I had no experience with. But now I do have an IVF baby and I don't see why it's an offensive phrase. He ~is~ a test tube baby. Am I missing something?

Ride along with the police (updated!)

Whoops, I didn't realize the last one even published. I typed the title and had to run out, and I must've hit publish instead of save.

So. I went on a ride along with the police. I have a really good friend who is a cop, so I get to ride along whenever I want. It's so much fun. When we go on calls, I get to go up into whatever situation arises, except if it's something obviously dangerous. It's cool to not have to wait in the car and get to go along with him inside people's houses.

We had quite a few calls - I'll tell you about most of them ...

~ First call was an elderly welfare check. An older gentleman (86y) with dementia is being taken care of from his grandson. An anonymous caller wanted him checked on because they believed the grandson was taking advantage of him and not taking care of him. We went in his house and did an initial investigation. There were cockroaches ~everywhere~ and the fridge was full of rotten food. The grandpa was sitting in the living room with the grandson and seemed to be doing okay. He was extremely skinny though, which worried us about not eating. When asked about dinner that night, he said he had a big drink with whipped cream and we saw he had a starbucks frappachino in the trashcan. I certainly hope he ate more than that for dinner.

After taking pictures of his kitchen and the contents of the refrigerator and an interview with the grandson, we left with the information we'd be calling APS (adult protection services) the next day. The grandson was visibly upset, saying someone is out to get him by calling the police, but from what I saw, it was substantiated. I hope everything goes okay.

~ We then toured the city, checking his regular "route" to make sure nothing suspicious was going on. So we parked in a parking lot to check on speeders. He let me use the radar gun to find someone to pull over. I hate getting tickets (don't we all!) so I felt a little lame helping someone get one, but I'll admit, it was fun. The car itself has a built in radar detector, so I wasn't the sole operator in picking up someone's speed, but still, I was having fun doing it. We pulled a few people over and out of 5 people, we gave only 2 tickets, the remainder getting warnings. One girl we pulled over (15+ mph over) freaked out and was crying and carrying on. I almost felt bad, but the reaction was just so over the top. She said she was a hoarder, which didn't make much sense as an excuse for speeding.

~ Then we got my favorite call of the night. A kid (22y) called 911 to say he thinks he was overdosing from smoking too much marijuana. I begged we take the call and we did. When we got to the house, the firetruck and ambulance was waiting down the block for us to clear the scene. There was the kid, sitting on the front stoop, very stoned. I stayed outside with him while they checked the situation inside and the paramedics were called in. I swear, I had to hide my laughter because it was freaking hysterical! Overdosing from marijuana? lol. Impossible!

The paramedics tried their best to have the kid decline going to the hospital, telling him they couldn't do anything for him. The only thing he needed was time. But he insisted on going, saying he was afraid he was going to pass away. The weed ended up being his cousin's, which he had a medicinal license for, so that was fine and dandy with the police and it wasn't confiscated. But the kid got possession and to add insult to injury, upon searching his room, he had a butterfly knife, so got another charge of possession of an illegal weapon. What. A. Dumbass. The cops were making fun of the kid on the radio and my favorite line was "maybe we should do some community outreach and bring him a bag of cheetos".

~ Next was a DUI pulled over by the k9 unit. We had to come on scene to transport the guy because k9 doesn't have room due to the dog. This guy was not drunk, but was on some drugs of some sort. He couldn't do any of the roadside tests and was immediately arrested. We took him down to the hospital for blood work to figure out what he was on.

Side note -- The nurse who came in to take his blood told me he recognized me from the pin incident. lol! I can't believe he remembered me!

Anywho, the best part was seeing the way this guy was dressed. Parachute pants, silk shirt, a red embroidered cell phone case on his belt, 2-3 bracelets, a pink scarf, 2 ~big~ necklaces and almost more rings than fingers. He was the epitome of style I tell you! I'm almost forgetting the mullet and the huge mustache. Hot hot hot!

~ The next call was from a woman saying her ex husband was over banging on her door screaming about a cell phone and she had a restraining order against him. He had since left, so we went looking for him. We got to his apartment (which I stayed in the car for this one) and they went in and arrested him. We took him down to the station and did the paperwork for bringing him to jail. I sat at the table and bullshitted with the guy while my friend was typing up the paperwork and I was given the job to fill out some paperwork regarding what the guy was wearing and had on him to turn in at the jail. After this, we went down and took him to the main jail in town.

When at the jail, we were waiting outside to have them buzz us in and they wouldn't buzz the door because they said "the prisoner needs to be restrained". The guy was in handcuffs and my friend held up the guys hands to show them. But they persisted, until we realized they thought ~I~ was a prisoner too! Heh.

~ While we were in the jail, a call for a house fire came in. We raced to the scene to find an abandoned house engulfed in flames. The fire department was already there and they were trying their best to put it out. So I sat in the car (it was 20 degrees outside!) and watched the house burn down. They got it out before it fell into itself, but it was pretty damn cool to watch.

By now, it was 3am and I headed home. It took awhile to wind down after getting home, I mean, who could come home from all that excitement and just go to sleep? Definitely not me! Maybe the police were used to it, but I certainly wasn't.

And that was that. All in all, it was a really fun night.

Ride along with the police.

If you could only pick two

bands to listen to for the rest of your life, what would you pick?


Mine? Sublime and Nirvana.

Do you have a favorite word? A word you hate?

I hate the word "moist".

I love the word "milk".


You?

And ~this~ is why I watch the ends of movies.

I just watched the end of "The Mist". OMG. Worst ending ever. Worse than The Departed. Horrible. Horrible. Horrible. Not that the movie looked like a really good movie, but it would have pissed me off if I watched the whole thing. Hell, it pissed me off I watched 10 minutes of it!

Anywho - the last post made me laugh so hard. I loved all the answers!!!

I've been in a rut. I need to get out of it before the knitting needles come back out and I start stabbing my eyeballs out. or in. I guess if I stab my eyeballs, they'd be going in, not out. Unless they got stuck on the needle and pulled out.

I got my house refinanced. I dropped an entire percentage point - down to 5%, so that's good.

I'm so bored staying home. I swear, this rut has got a hold on me.

Speaking of staying at home, I got all the steps I have to do to get into nursing school this fall. The job search will be a deciding factor, but I'm getting all set to start school just in case. Yay!

Okay, gotta check on my unemployment status. I'm officially eligible now. I have to make sure it's still active.

Questioning some long standing mysteries.

1. ~ What is the proper way to put your top (flat) sheet on your bed? "Design" side up or down?

2. ~ When changing the roll of toilet paper, which way does the flap lie? Over or under?

3. ~ What are the basic steps to making scrambled eggs? Specifically, what do you scramble the eggs with, if anything, and what do you "do" to the pan before pouring in the eggs to cook?

4. ~ Is it okay to put leftovers in ziploc baggies?

5. ~ Blowing your nose in the shower - normal or not?

6. ~ Another shower question. When cleaning your vag, how do you clean - soap or no soap? just outside or do you do a little inside?

7. ~ Hepatitis can be transmitted through fecal matter. Is "splashback" from a public toilet dangerous?

8. ~ What is more annoying in regards to reading things online - ALL CAPS? Too many exclamation points?!!!! or teenage shortcut typing, ie you = U, are = are.

9. ~ Is clipping fingernails in public considered acceptable?

10. ~ What is more annoying in regards to dressing - VPL (visible panty lines)? Pantyhose with open toed shoes? or (for white girls) wearing a white bra under a white shirt?

How often do you change your sheets?

And be honest!

We change our sheets every 2~ish weeks. Of course there are variables in there which may make them get washed in a shorter time, but 2 weeks is our average. We occasionally accidentally skip a washing and the sheets stay on for a month, even more at times! (gross, eh?) But my sheets just aren't on the top of my list in cleaning items. They should be though - the thought of sleeping in tons of dead skin cells grosses me out.

I just washed my bedspread and when I went to put it on my bed, I changed the sheets, thinking it's been 2 days short of 2 weeks. I come out in the living room and my husband asks me "did you just change the sheets?" After I told him I did, he informed me he just changed all the sheets on all the beds last night. And I didn't even notice! (you know why? I passed the hell out on the couch last night and SOMEONE didn't tell me to get off the couch and go to my bed. Yeah, just let the girl sleep on the couch and not in her own bed. ~grumble~)

I don't know what I'm thinking about more - I'm bummed that I "wasted" new sheets on only 1 day old sheets ~or~ he changed the sheets on my bed in the first place!

So -

question #1 - how often do you change your sheets?
question #2 - does your husband/partner change the sheets or is it your job?
question #3 - how do you know what sheets to put on the next time? Do you rotate them out? Do you use a method to rotate all of them? Do you just use your favorites? Or are you a clean em and throw them right back on the bed type of person?

My answer --- I use a method to rotate all of my sheets so they all get used the same amount. I put the just cleaned ones at the bottom of the sheets stack and I use the one on top for the next sheeting, so I'm always going through them all, one by one. Seems normal that that's what most people would do, but now I'm thinking, maybe it's not!


(baby thing mentioned.... )

Karl's been a poopin' machine in the last few days where I am changing sheets and mattress pads 1 to 2 times each day. And today, he had such a morning blowout that as I was taking off his footed jammies, he had poop all down his leg and into in between his toes! I wiped off all I could (basically, all the chunks) with wipes and then off into the bath he went. Actually, he got a quick shower first because I didn't want to make him sit in shitty (literally) water. Gotta love those baby baths at 6:45am!

(end baby thing)


Back to the sheets - don't forget the questions!

question #1 - how often do you change your sheets?
question #2 - does your husband/partner change the sheets or is it your job?
question #3 - how do you know what sheets to put on the next time? Do you rotate them out? Do you use a method to rotate all of them? Do you just use your favorites? Or are you a clean em and throw them right back on the bed type of person?

A favor to all you private blog bloggers ...

I use google reader for all public blogs, but for the private blogs, I had a folder in my favorites list. When I lost my operating system, I obviously lost all my bookmarks too.

Can anyone who has a private blog that I was invited to, can you PLEASE email me the URL? Pretty please? With sugar on top? And a cherry?

(nleisher AT yahoo DOT com)

My newest tattoo is freaking out.

I got a tattoo of the redsox "socks". Right on my hip. The first tattoo of something rather than just pretty pictures.

Anywho, healing is taking a beating because it's on my hip and everything rubs it. It's been 1 1/2 weeks and it's just now scabbing up. (gross). My tattoo healing is always pretty good - some scab up, some don't. But usually they are always healed up within a week or two. This one is tough on me. It actually looks like the my body is simply rejecting the red ink. Has anyone had trouble like this with their ink?