So many BFPs for so many ~other~ people.
Why don't I deserve it? Why can't it happen for me? (okay, not just for me, but for a lot of other deserving women too?)
... Once (and still) Infertile, but still Schnarky as hell. This blog is dedicated to the daily ramblings from the mind of Nancy. It isn't about anything profound in the grand scheme of things, but it ~is~ about things in my life, schnarkiness always included. I have a second blog, listed in my profile, but the blogs will continue to remain separate.
"I'm aiming for heaven, but I'll probably wind up down in hell"
About Me
- nancy
- I am a 39 year old woman. I am the mother of two beautiful daughters and a handsome son. I am a career woman. As for my TTC world, it certainly doesn't seem like I am "infertile", but I fought for my pregnancies and my TTC/IF history is on the sidebar. I have two blogs, which are both listed in my profile. One focuses on my daily life - including IF, TTC, pregnancy, delivery and even some "children mentioned" posts. The second blog is ~soley~ posts directly about being the mother to my three children.
Belly Pics for #3 only.
Click stick figure to see the consecutive pictures from this pregnancy only.
My TTC History
- Jul 01 ~ married
- Jan 02 ~ First cycle off bcps and opk shows ovulation!
- Dec 02 ~ Went to pcp for RE referral
- Jan 03 ~ Testing commences. S/A perfect. HSG clear.
- Feb 03 ~ Lap #1. All clear.
- Apr 03 ~ Clomid cycle #1. BFN.
- May 03 ~ Clomid cycle #2. BFN.
- Jun 03 ~ Clomid cycle #3. BFN.
- Jul 03 ~ Supposed to be IUI#1, but we missed cd3 so natural cycle
- Aug 03 ~ BFP on C18.
- Apr 04 ~ Ella born.
- Oct 04 ~ decided to ttc #2 and went off minipill to see if I am ovulating. I am. Will start next month.
- Nov 04 ~ TTC#2 starts. BFP. Holy Crap. No freaking way. No way.
- Aug 05 ~ Allison born
- Oct 06 ~ IUD removed. TTC#3
- Jan 07 ~ Large cysts found.
- Feb 07 ~ Femara cyle #1
- Mar 07 ~ Started w/ RE. HSG #2 showed R tube blocked. S/A normal.
- Mar 07 ~ more cysts, up to 9cms.
- Apr 07 ~ more cysts, 3 @ 7-9cms.
- May 07 ~ IUI #1 cancelled due to more cysts
- Jun 07 ~ IUI #1 (take two) w/ Clomid. BFN.
- Jul 07 ~ HSS showed scar tissue in 70% of uterus. Diagnosed with Asherman's Syndrome. Uterine surgery #2
- Aug 07 ~ HSG #3 showed clear tubes.
- Aug 07 ~ IUI #2 w/ Femara. BFN.
- Sept 07 ~ Monitored w/ hCG trigger. BFN.
- Oct 07 ~ HSS #2 showed scar tissue in 30% of uterus. Uterine surgery #3.
- Dec 07 ~ HSS #3 showed tiny amount of scar tissue. Uterine surgery #4.
- Jan 08 ~ HSS #4 showed clear uterus.
- Jan 08 ~ IUI #3, C16. BFN.
- Mar 08 ~ IVF #1, Transfer Cancelled due to lining. Out of 15 eggs, 9 were mature and all 9 fertilized. I have named my 9 embryos "The Mod Squad" and they are in the freezer, waiting for mommy to be ready.
- Apr/May 08 ~ FET #1. C20. 4 embryos "The Fab Four" transferred on 5/05. BFP!!! Very Low Beta (15 at 11dp3dt) but the numers continued to double every 48 hours. Told it was "most likely not viable" and later "most likely ectopic" but we beat all the odds.
- May 16, 08 ~ 11dp3dt (4w0d), beta #1: 15
- May 19, 08 ~ 14dp3dt (4w3d), beta #2: 43
- May 23, 08 ~ 18dp3dt (5w0d), beta#3: 213
- May 27, 22dp3dt (5w4d), beta #4: 1,073
- Jun 08 - Ultrasound showed one heartbeat at 7 weeks.
- Jul 08 - Had CVS testing. Chromosomes are normal and it's a BOY!! EDD: 1/23
- Aug 08 - Jan 09 ~ High risk due to: 1) Velamentous Cord Insertion, deemed biggest risk 2) Previous Placenta Accreta 3) Previous rapid degraged placenta 4) IVF alone can create weak placenta 5) AMA - Advanced Maternal Age. -- All resulting in almost 30 u/s and lots of testing, which ended up saving my life.
- Jan 09 (38w0d) ~ Karl is born! -- Crazy 3 days in hospital. Manual version to flip baby from breech to head down, Labor, Delivery, Emergency surgery due to cord detaching from placenta, Scary heart issues from losing over 40% of my blood supply, and then a blood transfusion due to the extreme loss of blood. Whew!
Blog Archive
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2008
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April
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- I made a half decision.
- Cancelled Again.
- Am I ~evil~?
- I met with plastic surgeon.
- Two more days.
- This makes me want to throw up.
- What is there to do? Oh yes. Wait.
- Lining update and severe jealousy.
- I can't take anymore pregnancies.
- If you love it so much, you should marry it!
- Another day, another monkey wanding.
- Happy Birthday Bean.
- No witty title available.
- Weigh in. Week 2.
- The seven habits of highly fertile people.
- I can ~see~ the hurdle. Jump Nancy, JUMP!
- What a pain in the ass.
- Oh The Places You'll Go
- I guess that makes me a moron.
- Approaching hurdle #6
- Nightmares.
- 2 more days until next hurdle.
- I've done it. I've joined
- I've been ipod-ing it today
- Never use PEN.
- I'm going to kill my husband.
- It's hard to be the 1 out of 6
- I'm really good at being non-pregnant.
- I want a baby.
- And it's back on.
- Another setback.
- FET update!
- I thought the internet was "huge".
- Weird dreams.
- I just went shopping with
- It's too soon. (updated)
- That good news fooled even me.
- I can't believe you did it!
- Transfer in 2 weeks.
- Pet Peeve venting time.
- Nothing can sum it up better.
- Things that are good about a June FET.
- My luck is bound to turn, right?
- Today was supposed to be my transfer.
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April
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7 comments:
My neighbors have a blue huge wooden stork in their front yard that I fantisized lighting a torch to in the middle of the night!
I love it! The flaming stork of doom!
I think I'll put a giant wooden book on a stick when I finally get my dissertation done.
I hear you, Nancy. I don't think it's about deserving. It's about stupid blind luck. Cold comfort, I know, but hey, at least it's not you.
I hear you loud & clear. I wish I knew why it wasn't happening. Dear God- I wish I knew for all of us.
{{{{hugs}}}}
Thinking of the huge blue wooden stork on fire makes me smile.
Let's face it...even when somebody deserves it BFPs are tough. I'm only sorry that I can't do anything to make it better.
Hear hear!
(I have a post about a neighbor's BFP coming up)
Oh how I hear ya..
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