Tuesday, January 15, 2008

and when things suck, ~i~ suck.

I've been lurking on all the blogs I normally go to and haven't have the courage to type anything myself. I don't want my flow of negativity to reach out and spoil anyone else, so to everyone who deserves a comment, I'm sorry.

I literally laughed out loud at Joe's last post about hairspray. But did I comment? Nope. I laughed and took that laughter without a thanks. i suck.

Mel got her book published!!! Oh my fucking god!!! (yeah, that's how i really talk. i'm so sorry for any of the religious persuasion who reads my horrible language and my using the name in vain stuff. sorry.) Did I stop and type her a congrats? Nope. The congrats happened in my head. I smiled from ear to ear, beaming with happiness for her. And then I swallowed up that taken happiness to use for myself and clicked away. i suck.

There's others. Chicklet is funny. PJ is being positive. Wordgirl is full of questions. Katie had a great IUI. So did Jen. Jenn is 11dpo with a great chart. Everything in the world I could be commenting to. And I'm not. i suck.

oh yeah - KatarinaJellyBeana is on her way to a brand new cycle and she's white knuckling it. Did I send her an "it'll be okay" note? Nope. i suck.

The list goes on and on. I read ~everyone's~ blog who comment here (and more) and I'm not giving the support back. i suck.

So forgive me dear commenters of support. You guys rule. I'm the one who sucks.


MDShamrocks07 said...

dear, I'm sure everyone understands. You've hit that infamous wall again and it sucks, I've been there...hell, I'm there now. The only thing we want you to do now is take care of yourself...you deserve it.

Oh, and yesterday's post on my blog, the last paragraph....yeah, ~you~ are that friend. ♥

Katarina Jelly Beana said...

Shut up.


KatieM said...

Seriously....our thought similarity scares me sometimes. For example, I did a blog titled "Oh good lord" one day (it was the one about the crazy long appt. and drunk guy), but right after I posted it I went blog reading and you had done one that same day titled "Oh good lord" so I changed mine =P. Again, I just finished writing a post called "This is why I suck" talking about my MS program and IF, and low and behold I pop over here to check on you and you've got this one up. Craziness I tell you.

Oh, and as for the comment thing....I tend to have dry spells myself, usually when I'm sulking over something, so I think thats "normal".

BethH6703 said...

I literally laughed - out loud - at KJB's comment. She's too funny!

On to my comment -
You DON'T suck! Your situation sucks! And you're doing what you have to do to get through it. I know I've been there, either not commenting at all, or being all pissy in comments (ie, yesterday's discussion on # of cycles). I can't speak for everyone, but I know I feel the Nancy love, even when you don't have it in you to comment.

{{{{{hugs}}}}} and take care of yourself right now hon. lord knows we'll all have things that deserve your input once you're ready to give it.

Kaci said...

Geeze Nancy - you don't suck. I won't lie - I appreciate the comments, but I'll admit I was shocked you even read my blog. I appreciate that you stop by, knowing that it must be hard for you since I only have one thing to talk about.

As much as I appreciate it, I completely understand if you avoid me at times. And for those who don't understand, well then, do you really care if you hurt their feelings or piss them off?

Jen said...

What the hell are you talking about? You don't suck! It's hard to give support when you're handed a shit sandwich as it takes all your energy just to work through that. So no worries.

Morgan said...

This absolutely has nothing to do with anything, im sorry...but how do you start a blog? its something ive been interested in

nancy said...

Morgan - just go to blogger.com and start an account!

nancy said...

kaci - why woulld you be surprised that I read your blog? I read parenting blogs! THIS particular blog is mostly about my "shit sandwich" (thanks jenn) of IF issues, but I'm still a mother and I still like to read about other mothers going through mother things :)

All my friends aren't ttcers :-)

nancy said...

morgan - you have a blog. click on your name in my comments and look at it. If you need access to it, click the little "B" on the top left hand side of any blog and it'll take you to login to your dashboard.

mybabyquest.wordpress.com said...

Give yourself a break Nancy - we all do.

You absolutely do NOT suck.

You are a funny, warm, witty woman You will get through this.

Morgan said...

Wow. Thanks Nancy, I forgot all about that blog...I didn't even remember it! lol

Kaci said...

I just meant I was surprised you would read it when the whole TTC thing is sucking, not that I'm surprised you read it in general. I didn't express that clearly earlier.

jenn said...

I second KJB. We love you Nancy- that means we totally understand & don't even think about it when you don't have it in you to comment when life is being such a fucking bastard to you right now.

I'll always be here when you need a hug, or someone to scream with, or cry with, or just sit & say nothing with. I know you are in a really tough place right now & I wouldn't want you to force a smile if you just can't it. I ~know~ how much you smile on the inside (or heck- really the outside right!) for everyone.

p.s.- my chart is scaring me. I just remember my last super duper fantastic pretty chart & how disappointing it was. But the boobs are new- sore & tender & kind of painful. if they mean nothing I will be pissed the eff off!

Swim said...

You do NOT suck. We all go through the feeling like we suck during this sucky IF ride.

I am hoping that you will have a non-sucky day tomorrow.

Wordgirl said...

Oh Nancy.

You don't suck.

This fucking process sucks.



chicklet said...

Tis ok, I get it. I'm just glad to see what's up and that you are still around. Take the time you need - you're allowed!

bleu said...

Well you commented on my blog, so I feel super-duper special.
I also thank you, it meant a lot.

Searching said...

Even when you think you suck you are still pretty awesome. Hope tomorrow is a more managable, less-full-of-suckage kind of day.


you know what...sometimes you just don't feel like commenting. and that is okay! sometimes life sucks. not you!

Christy said...

Often we need to be *around* our friends, but not necessarily *talking* to them. I am sure all the lovely blogs you are reading and not commenting on understand what you are going through and understand. I truely hope that you feel better soon, and that #3 comes sooner than later.